1
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:14,791
[gentle music playing]

2
00:00:28,125 --> 00:00:31,500
[dog barking]

3
00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:33,583
[gentle music continues]

4
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,333
[bell jingles]

5
00:00:38,708 --> 00:00:39,833
[door closes]

6
00:00:47,708 --> 00:00:49,041
Two Pop-Tarts, please.

7
00:00:51,208 --> 00:00:52,541
Leave the box.

8
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,583
- Tough day?
- You don't wanna know.

9
00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:02,958
"One day, Grandma Kellogg,
while baking pies for her family,

10
00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:05,208
found she had
some extra crust and filling."

11
00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:07,833
"So, she put them together
into little tarts."

12
00:01:07,916 --> 00:01:10,750
"They were so popular,
she called it the Pop-Tart."

13
00:01:12,708 --> 00:01:14,875
Wow. That's a pretty good story.

14
00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:16,875
[man] You think so? Bunch of baloney.

15
00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:19,291
It's on the box, mister.

16
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,958
Yeah, well, that ain't what happened, kid.

17
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,041
How do you know?

18
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,500
'Cause I write what's on those boxes.

19
00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:36,541
You wanna know the real story?

20
00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:38,458
Nope.

21
00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:40,166
Come on. It's a good one.

22
00:01:42,291 --> 00:01:44,541
All right. But make it quick.

23
00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:46,875
Well, in the early '60s,

24
00:01:46,958 --> 00:01:50,125
the American morning
was defined by milk and cereal.

25
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:51,875
[kids speaking indistinctly]

26
00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:54,750
[man] <i>Our milkman was named Mike.
He was a swell guy.</i>

27
00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:56,166
[dog barking]

28
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,583
[man] <i>And our little town
captured the imagination</i>

29
00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:01,958
<i>of every breakfast-loving
American kid just like you.</i>

30
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:04,500
<i>Battle Creek, Michigan,</i>

31
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:08,083
<i>the home of the two
undisputed giants of the cereal world,</i>

32
00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:09,166
<i>Kellogg's</i>

33
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:10,750
<i>and Post.</i>

34
00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:12,625
<i>And battle they did.</i>

35
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:15,083
<i>Week after week, bowl after bowl,</i>

36
00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:18,166
<i>Post and Kellogg's fought
tooth and tongue to win.</i>

37
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:20,500
<i>But a spoon was about to get bent</i>

38
00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:23,500
<i>when a hot, sweet rectangle
popped on the scene,</i>

39
00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:26,916
<i>threatening to upend
America's breakfast table forever.</i>

40
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:33,666
So good.

41
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:35,000
Morning, Mr. Kellogg.

42
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:38,416
Oh! Great numbers last week, Bob.
You look at these demos?

43
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:41,500
We beat Alpha-Bits
in four-to-six-year-olds.

44
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:44,333
Letters, bad idea.
Don't make 'em think. They wanna eat.

45
00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:48,958
Did you read about the boy in Bloomington
who used the letters to spell "ass"?

46
00:02:49,041 --> 00:02:49,875
Horrible.

47
00:02:49,958 --> 00:02:51,458
And that's on his permanent record.

48
00:02:51,541 --> 00:02:53,125
- Good luck getting a job.
- Hmm.

49
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:55,541
Hey, did you get my memo
about the frogman prize inside?

50
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:56,833
Some kids are eating them.

51
00:02:56,916 --> 00:02:59,250
{\an8}If they're frogmen,
they'll find their way out.

52
00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:01,000
Did you look in on Tony?

53
00:03:01,083 --> 00:03:02,125
[Bob] On my way now.

54
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,333
Keep him happy.

55
00:03:03,958 --> 00:03:06,291
Ooh. Vietnam. That seems like a good idea.

56
00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:07,500
[bell rings]

57
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,500
[mascot] Wanna know what puts
a toothy grin on this tiger's face?

58
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,416
{\an8}Kellogg's Sugar Frosted Flakes.

59
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,583
{\an8}They're so right.

60
00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:18,583
[director] Thurl, can you hit
the "so" a little bit harder?

61
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,458
"They're <i>so</i> right."

62
00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:23,708
[inhales deeply]

63
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:29,708
- Are you giving me a read?
- I would never do that, Thurl.

64
00:03:29,791 --> 00:03:31,416
Let's not play games, young man.

65
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,875
I am rehearsing <i>Lear</i> at four,
so could you simply tell me what you want?

66
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,041
I wanna go home.

67
00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,750
Hello, everyone.

68
00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:42,208
- Oh! And look who's here.
- Good morning, Thurl.

69
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:45,666
Is it good, Bob? Is it?
Have you seen today's copy?

70
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:49,125
Oh, we'll get it, Thurl. We've got
the best cereal writers in the business.

71
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:53,208
We do indeed. We are so blessed.
They're great. Just gr-r-reat!

72
00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:55,708
That's it.

73
00:03:56,041 --> 00:03:58,750
That's the line we've been looking for.
Let's go again.

74
00:03:58,833 --> 00:03:59,916
Yes, quickly now.

75
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,041
- Quickly, while I feel it.
- [bell rings]

76
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:04,291
- [man 1] Ready?
- [man 2] Rolling.

77
00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,500
[Thurl] Sugar Frosted Flakes.

78
00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:08,458
They're gr-r-reat!

79
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,208
- And cut.
- [bell rings]

80
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,017
- [all applauding]
- Thurl, you did it again.

81
00:04:12,041 --> 00:04:14,708
Oh, thank you. You're very kind to me.

82
00:04:14,791 --> 00:04:15,875
You're very kind.

83
00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:16,875
[man] Bravo!

84
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:19,458
[Thurl] I soar on the wings of eagles.

85
00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:20,375
Thank you.

86
00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:24,208
Bob. Bob, a moment. I was wondering,
is there something that could be done,

87
00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:27,000
perhaps, about the temperature
inside my head?

88
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,541
- I'm literally sealed up inside, you see.
- [Bob] Mmm.

89
00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:31,708
I'll get the boys
in the lab to look into it.

90
00:04:31,791 --> 00:04:33,500
Great. Thank you.

91
00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:35,583
[whimsical music playing]

92
00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:38,625
Where is the lab?

93
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:39,708
There is no lab.

94
00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:42,625
- [Poppy] Mr. C.
- Poppy. What's this?

95
00:04:42,708 --> 00:04:44,875
It's a first pass
at your Fruit Loops idea.

96
00:04:44,958 --> 00:04:47,125
- Oh. How'd they do?
- The numbers aren't great.

97
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,250
- Time to sog, 14 seconds.
- Ouch.

98
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,666
Milk buoyancy, zero.
They are sinking like buckshot.

99
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,958
- Disappointing.
- Wanna hear the survey responses?

100
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:56,000
- Not really.
- They are "I don't like these."

101
00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:58,583
"Please, no more."
And "Where did my parents go?"

102
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,583
Okay. Just double the sugar,
triple the gluten,

103
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:04,458
and spell Fruit F-R-O-O-T.

104
00:05:04,541 --> 00:05:06,041
There's no fruit in here.

105
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:09,125
Obviously, fruit cannot survive
in a box on a shelf.

106
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:10,916
- [Poppy] Of course not.
- [whispering]

107
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:12,708
Mr. Cabana.

108
00:05:13,291 --> 00:05:14,541
Ah, boys.

109
00:05:14,625 --> 00:05:16,625
I'm just going to cut right to it.

110
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,625
We're tired of doing
supermarket appearances.

111
00:05:19,708 --> 00:05:22,750
Yeah, we're catching on.
We want a record deal, board games...

112
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:24,833
- Maybe even a beach movie.
- Oh.

113
00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:26,041
Tell him the title.

114
00:05:26,875 --> 00:05:29,125
<i>Krispy Boys Surfin' Along.</i>

115
00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:32,583
Yeah. This thing is big, Bob.
We want more.

116
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,458
More? Here's more.

117
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:38,166
Let's add a new guy.
How about Snap, Crackle, Pop, and Boing?

118
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:41,083
Would you like to split
your paycheck four ways with Boing?

119
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:44,208
Or I could just hire
Poop, Slap, and Smile,

120
00:05:44,291 --> 00:05:46,416
because I can replace this whole act...

121
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:47,750
[snaps fingers]...like that.

122
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,458
[breathing shakily]

123
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:54,833
He's teasing. He loves you guys.

124
00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:57,208
Meeting in the Krispy Cave, now.

125
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,208
[music ends]

126
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:01,708
[announcer] <i>From the recently renovated
Holiday Inn in Battle Creek, Michigan,</i>

127
00:06:01,791 --> 00:06:05,000
<i>it is the 1963 Bowl and Spoon Awards,</i>

128
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:07,166
<i>the night cereal salutes itself.</i>

129
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,000
{\an8}Brought to you by Oscar Mayer Wieners.

130
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:11,250
{\an8}When you are done with breakfast,
we'll be waiting.

131
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:12,166
[audience applauding]

132
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:15,541
[Mr. Kellogg] Well, whatever it is,
my gerbil loves it. [laughs]

133
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,458
[gasps]

134
00:06:16,541 --> 00:06:17,875
[enchanting music playing]

135
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:19,916
[Mr. Kellogg] Oh, Madame Cereal.

136
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,708
Miss Marjorie Post.

137
00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:23,833
Well well, King Kellogg.

138
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,125
Good luck tonight,
not that you need it, right?

139
00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:30,166
Well, I don't know. That fruity gravel
of yours made quite a splash.

140
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:31,541
Pebbles. Fruity Pebbles.

141
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:35,458
Uh... I... Rick Ludwin, also with Post.
I have been eating you for years.

142
00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:38,625
- I'd leave.
- Uh...

143
00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:41,750
You know we don't stand
a chance against you tonight.

144
00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:43,833
Well, it's been a very good year.

145
00:06:43,916 --> 00:06:45,916
Oh, you should enjoy it.

146
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:46,916
It's the '60s.

147
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,583
- Things are really moving fast.
- What do you mean?

148
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:55,250
Oh, there's always a surprise
inside the box. Isn't there, Eddie?

149
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,750
Huh?

150
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,625
[jazz music playing]

151
00:06:59,708 --> 00:07:01,500
Greetings, Kellogg's brethren.

152
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:02,708
Praise be.

153
00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:05,458
Hey, Isaiah.
You know Isaiah Lamb from Quaker.

154
00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:08,541
Anything new nominated tonight?

155
00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:09,875
[Isaiah] No, nothing new.

156
00:07:09,958 --> 00:07:11,875
Original oats, original flavor.

157
00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:13,500
Yeah, flavor.

158
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:14,500
[Poppy laughs softly]

159
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:15,916
- What's that?
- Nothing.

160
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,250
You Kellogg's people.

161
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:20,666
Peace be upon you.

162
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:23,916
Why do they keep showing up to this?

163
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,041
- Mixing religion and cereal, why?
- To keep sales down?

164
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:31,708
[announcer] <i>Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your host, Stu Smiley.</i>

165
00:07:31,791 --> 00:07:33,791
- [orchestral fanfare playing]
- [all applauding]

166
00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,625
Oh. [chuckles]

167
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,583
[kisses]

168
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,250
I love this guy.

169
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,916
{\an8}And welcome to the big Bowl and Spoon.
How are you?

170
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,708
{\an8}Look at you tonight.
Somebody's frosted your flakes.

171
00:07:45,791 --> 00:07:47,625
[audience laughing]

172
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:49,833
Well, you know I love cereal people. I do.

173
00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:53,583
{\an8}My favorite thing is on the front
of the box is serving suggestions.

174
00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:56,791
Well, I have a suggestion for you.
How about filling up the box?

175
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:57,750
[all laughing]

176
00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:00,166
{\an8}- What's with all the air?
- [audience applauding]

177
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:01,791
This is gonna be a great night, guys.

178
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:04,500
And we're gonna get things
started here with our first award.

179
00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:09,083
{\an8}It is Best New Cereal Box Character.

180
00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:10,583
And the winner is

181
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,166
Kellogg's.

182
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,666
[exclaiming]

183
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,666
[Stu] Apple Jacks' Apple Head.

184
00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:17,291
This is all you.

185
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,625
Well, it's everyone.

186
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:19,583
Me mostly.

187
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,083
{\an8}Easiest to Open Wax Bag.

188
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,000
Kellogg's!

189
00:08:24,083 --> 00:08:25,458
Yeah!

190
00:08:26,041 --> 00:08:27,208
[sarcastically] Yay.

191
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,684
- Kellogg's, ladies and gentlemen.
- [audience exclaims]

192
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:32,333
Kellogg's, guys. Come on.

193
00:08:32,416 --> 00:08:34,500
Best Use of Niacin.

194
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:35,583
{\an8}You guessed it.

195
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,166
{\an8}Kellogg's, guys.

196
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,375
[groovy music playing]

197
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:41,041
[audience continues applauding]

198
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,041
Heathens.

199
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:46,666
Let the grain speak for itself.

200
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:48,791
[music crescendoes]

201
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,000
[music ends]

202
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:52,000
I don't know
where I'm gonna put all these.

203
00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:54,958
Why are they smiling over there?
They're losing everything.

204
00:08:55,041 --> 00:08:57,583
Then the priest says,
"Really? She was when I knew her."

205
00:08:57,666 --> 00:08:59,375
[laughing]

206
00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:01,708
Maybe they're just happy for you, Bob.

207
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,166
They'd be happy if we were dragged
through the streets like Mussolini.

208
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:08,833
Mussolini? Come on, Bob.
Lighten up. We won the night.

209
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:13,250
I don't know.
I feel like they know something we don't.

210
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,458
And now in memoriam.

211
00:09:15,541 --> 00:09:19,333
Let's take a moment to remember
some of the cereals we lost this year.

212
00:09:19,416 --> 00:09:21,166
We ate of you what we could.

213
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,875
["It Was A Very Good Year"
by Frank Sinatra playing]

214
00:09:23,958 --> 00:09:27,041
<i>♪ When I was seventeen ♪</i>

215
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:32,666
<i>- ♪ It was a very good year ♪</i>
- [sobbing]

216
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:35,125
[mysterious music playing]

217
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,750
[menacing music plays]

218
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,375
[mischievous music playing]

219
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:50,208
[kid grunting]

220
00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:51,291
[thuds]

221
00:09:53,416 --> 00:09:55,041
[truck revving]

222
00:09:55,791 --> 00:09:57,500
[whirring]

223
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,500
[dramatic music playing]

224
00:10:02,958 --> 00:10:04,791
[kids screaming]

225
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:07,125
{\an8}- [grunting]
- [objects clattering]

226
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:09,333
- [clanking]
- [kids yelping]

227
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,583
[grunting]

228
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:13,791
[mischievous music playing]

229
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,625
- [kids grunting]
- [thudding]

230
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:18,833
[groans]

231
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:20,708
[engine revving]

232
00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:22,458
[brakes squealing]

233
00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:24,250
Hey, what are those kids doing?

234
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,875
- Oh, they come for the goo.
- Who comes for the goo?

235
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:29,833
The ones.
The ones who come, it's for the goo.

236
00:10:29,916 --> 00:10:31,541
- The goo?
- The goo!

237
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,000
[truck hisses, revs]

238
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,666
[suspenseful music playing]

239
00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:42,458
[dramatic music plays]

240
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,875
Are you kids okay?

241
00:10:43,958 --> 00:10:46,916
Oh, sure. We live in nice homes
and already had a complete breakfast.

242
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,875
But we come here for this.

243
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,833
- It's garbage.
- [girl] Is it?

244
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:55,875
Or is it some hot fruit lightning
the man doesn't want you to have?

245
00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:57,375
[boy] No, wait.

246
00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:59,625
You have to have it like this.

247
00:11:00,666 --> 00:11:02,666
[heavenly music playing]

248
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,458
Eat up.

249
00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:10,541
[siren wailing]

250
00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:13,958
[thunder rumbling]

251
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:17,333
[thrilling music playing]

252
00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:23,125
[dramatic sting]

253
00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:26,875
- They got a fruit-filled pastry dingus.
- Dingus? Who has a dingus?

254
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:30,625
Post. They did it. It's some kind
of jelly-ish structure thing.

255
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:32,833
Transportable, possibly heatable.

256
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:35,583
- It might even be nutritious.
- It's not possible.

257
00:11:35,666 --> 00:11:39,583
It's like a balloon popping out of
a steering wheel in an accident, insane.

258
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,500
I tasted it.

259
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:42,125
- Where?
- Out of a dumpster.

260
00:11:42,208 --> 00:11:44,666
But isn't this
what your team was working on?

261
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,125
You said it was a dead end.

262
00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:49,416
It is. We thought it was.
Post must have cracked it.

263
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,416
This could sink us.

264
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,625
There isn't a Kellogg's cereal
that would survive.

265
00:11:52,708 --> 00:11:53,958
You're in a tizzy, Bob.

266
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:58,250
Uh, look at these awards.
We just cleaned up at the Bowl and Spoons.

267
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,333
Edsel, we own the Bowl and Spoons.

268
00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:03,000
You know how hard I work
to keep that from leaking?

269
00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:05,125
- It's a sham.
- It's a good show.

270
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:06,750
Well, the show's over.

271
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,250
You realize what this means?

272
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,958
Post will be the new king of Battle Creek.

273
00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:14,291
Then what are we?

274
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:16,958
We're lumpy Cream of Wheat.

275
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,375
I wanted to send my kids to college.

276
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:20,500
[somber music playing]

277
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,458
It's, like, $200 a year.

278
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,750
I guess my family was right about me.

279
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,916
I'll be the first failed Kellogg.

280
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,666
You didn't fail.
You have to do something to fail.

281
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,541
Easy on the insults, Bob.
You'd be out of a job too.

282
00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:36,875
I know. I could be a train hobo,

283
00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:39,625
cooking meat on the end
of a stick over a barrel fire.

284
00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:42,916
You can't say hobo anymore.
They prefer bum.

285
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,708
Well, I guess that's the end
of my dream of having a real lawn someday.

286
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:49,250
- Wait. You have a lawn.
- It's not sod.

287
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:52,250
I want sod.
You ever see that kind of grass?

288
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,208
Thick? Really green?

289
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:57,500
They roll it out like Poppin' Fresh dough.

290
00:12:57,583 --> 00:13:01,041
That's your dream? You don't have
feelings like normal people, do you?

291
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:02,625
Yes, I do. I feel fine.

292
00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:04,833
We need to find out if this is real.

293
00:13:04,916 --> 00:13:06,416
[pensive music playing]

294
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:09,708
- I need Chester Slink.
- Who's that?

295
00:13:09,791 --> 00:13:11,708
- I'm on the phone, Bob.
- Huh.

296
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,083
[announcer]
<i>Direct from CBS News in New York.</i>

297
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:17,625
<i>This is the CBS Evening News
with Walter Cronkite.</i>

298
00:13:17,708 --> 00:13:21,708
This just handed to me,
some major news from the breakfast world.

299
00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:24,333
The Post Cereal company
of Battle Creek, Michigan,

300
00:13:24,416 --> 00:13:29,916
has reportedly invented a shelf-stable,
heatable fruit pastry breakfast product.

301
00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:31,791
Shelf-stable.

302
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,666
Boy. [sighs]

303
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,625
More to come after this.

304
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:37,916
And we're clear.

305
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,875
On a personal note,

306
00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:42,541
Daddy bought himself a WHEE-LO.

307
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:45,083
WHEE-LO.

308
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:49,875
Goes away but always comes back for more.

309
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:52,875
Much like the missus.

310
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:58,125
[Edsel] This is Chester Slink,
our head of security.

311
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,208
Chester, tell us what you found out.

312
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:04,083
Well, this footage was taken
this morning by our man inside Post.

313
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:05,250
[snaps fingers]

314
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:07,333
[projector clicks, whirs]

315
00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:08,958
[suspenseful music playing]

316
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,916
- I can't see a damn thing.
- It's the best we have right now.

317
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:17,416
We have an operative posing as a janitor
with a camera attached to his mop.

318
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,833
Very brave,
these men inside with their mops.

319
00:14:21,416 --> 00:14:25,000
We believe this is what Bob
was ingesting in the dumpster.

320
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:27,750
Clearly, it's a fructiferous goo.

321
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:30,166
- Perhaps pectin-based?
- [all murmuring]

322
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,166
Pectin-based.

323
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:32,250
Pectin.

324
00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:37,291
<i>- What are you doing? What's that noise?
- Get that mop out of my face.</i>

325
00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:39,416
Do your job.

326
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:41,583
[scoffs]

327
00:14:41,666 --> 00:14:43,333
[suspenseful music playing]

328
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,083
[camera whirring]

329
00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:48,250
- [Bob] Wait. Stop the film.
- [projector clicks]

330
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:49,791
That's my research.

331
00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:53,166
Yeah, it is. It's possible
they got a guy working in our offices.

332
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,541
[Edsel] Unlikely.

333
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:57,333
I recently doubled our security.

334
00:14:57,416 --> 00:14:59,166
We have two guards now.

335
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,708
- [vacuum whirring]
- Uh... Can you do that later?

336
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:03,833
Uh... We're in a meeting.

337
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:05,583
[vacuum powering down]

338
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,166
[camera whirring]

339
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:12,916
[man clears throat] Excuse me,
but I am days away

340
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,791
{\an8}from a fruit snack that'll blow
their product right into the deli aisle.

341
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,791
{\an8}Is that a sardine can?

342
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:19,916
It was.

343
00:15:20,416 --> 00:15:23,125
But instead of oily
Mediterranean baitfish,

344
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:25,541
it contains yummy fresh fruit puree.

345
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:29,416
I give you the Kellogg's Frui-dine.

346
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,250
[all groan]

347
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,666
Uh, this one appears to be compromised.
That happens.

348
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:42,500
Uh... My team is also very close
on something called Corn Gooies.

349
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:43,583
And that is?

350
00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:46,083
It's individual Corn Pops
filled with creamed corn.

351
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:48,041
- [all gagging]
- And they're gooey.

352
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,958
[all gagging, groaning]

353
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:52,625
Everyone out. Take that. Take that.

354
00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:54,375
[footsteps receding rapidly]

355
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:55,458
Save us, Bob.

356
00:15:55,958 --> 00:15:56,791
[door closes]

357
00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:58,958
Whatever it takes. Whatever you need.

358
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,666
- I need Stan back.
- [Edsel] No.

359
00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:05,458
- No Stankowski. No can do.
- Look, I know Stan's not easy.

360
00:16:05,541 --> 00:16:08,375
Not easy?
Well, you couldn't even deal with Stan.

361
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:11,791
- We worked it out. We used a veto system.
- Wh... What?

362
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,208
We gave each other the power

363
00:16:13,291 --> 00:16:16,125
to veto anything
the other person did that was annoying.

364
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,750
To reduce tension.

365
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,208
Smelly lunch orders. Weird belts.

366
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:21,583
Oh, that's interesting.

367
00:16:21,666 --> 00:16:25,291
'Cause my company's on
the verge of total collapse!

368
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:26,833
That's why we need Stan.

369
00:16:26,916 --> 00:16:28,125
[Edsel sighs]

370
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:30,333
Does anyone even know where Stan is?

371
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,791
{\an8}[announcer] <i>Three, two, one. Ignition.</i>

372
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:37,666
["Wooly Bully" by Sam The Sham
& The Pharaohs playing]

373
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,000
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

374
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:41,208
<i>♪ Watch it now, watch it... ♪</i>

375
00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:43,625
[indistinct chatter]

376
00:16:43,708 --> 00:16:45,375
<i>♪ Matty told Hatty... ♪</i>

377
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:46,541
[whooshing]

378
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:48,625
<i>♪ About a thing she saw... ♪</i>

379
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,708
{\an8}- [buzzer buzzing]
- [woman] <i>The alien is hostile.</i>

380
00:16:53,541 --> 00:16:55,125
<i>♪ And a wooly jaw ♪</i>

381
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:56,708
<i>♪ Wooly bully... ♪</i>

382
00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:59,083
{\an8}[woman] <i>The alien is tricky.</i>

383
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,166
<i>- ♪ Wooly bully ♪
- ♪ Yeah, right ♪</i>

384
00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:03,208
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

385
00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:05,166
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

386
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:06,750
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

387
00:17:08,625 --> 00:17:11,291
Hey, if you guys get hungry on the moon,
I just came up with this.

388
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:13,791
It's Twinkie in a tube. Ha!

389
00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:17,750
- Like I couldn't do that?
- I see in flavors, flyboy.

390
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:20,541
What do you do other than
screw up and press eject?

391
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,875
[tires squealing]

392
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:26,958
- Cabana.
- [engine stops]

393
00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:29,458
Can't believe they leave
the keys in these things.

394
00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:34,000
Wow. You guys are really into the moon.

395
00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:35,208
Been expecting you.

396
00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:38,416
Post has really got you
by the nut clusters this time.

397
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:39,958
Here. Try this.

398
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,375
[slurping]

399
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:45,583
- It's got a certain tang.
- Ooh, that's a good name.

400
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:49,208
But, Bob, I... I know you're in a spot,
but I don't wanna go back to flake town.

401
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:52,583
- What is so great about NASA?
- They're not afraid of the future.

402
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:55,291
I mean, we've got something here
called a microwave oven.

403
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,416
Cooked a Swanson TV dinner
in 25 minutes flat. That's a fact.

404
00:17:58,500 --> 00:17:59,666
Yeah, for seven guys.

405
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:02,666
I'm talking about happy childhoods
for millions of American kids.

406
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:06,416
- We're going to the moon.
- The moon. Leave the moon alone.

407
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,041
You look up, it's there.

408
00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:10,500
It'll always be there. Don't pick at it.

409
00:18:11,083 --> 00:18:12,708
You're jamming goo into tubes

410
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,500
for a bunch of chain-smoking
Corvette guys with flattops.

411
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,343
They're gonna go up,
they're gonna come down.

412
00:18:17,416 --> 00:18:19,336
They're gonna become alcoholics
and get divorced.

413
00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,416
The chimps are smarter.

414
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:22,916
Okay, how do you think Post did it?

415
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,958
I know how they did it.
They stole our research.

416
00:18:25,541 --> 00:18:28,083
- I wonder if they used xanthan gum.
- Xanthan.

417
00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,916
I don't wanna work for Edsel again.

418
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:34,541
You don't really think you're actually
going to the moon, do you, really?

419
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,750
Going to the moon?

420
00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:41,166
- [laughing] No, I don't.
- No.

421
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,458
- Let's go.
- Let's go.

422
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:43,458
[sighs]

423
00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:46,666
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

424
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:47,666
<i>♪ Wooly bully ♪</i>

425
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,750
[mysterious music playing]

426
00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:56,416
Are we in trouble, mister?

427
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,416
You just tell Miss Post
about what you were doing in our dumpster

428
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,166
and anything else she wants to know.

429
00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:04,458
Hello, kids.

430
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:07,833
Move.

431
00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:11,541
So I heard you rascals
went on a little treasure hunt.

432
00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:13,958
That is our patented property.

433
00:19:14,041 --> 00:19:16,125
Do you know
what trademark infringement is?

434
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:20,000
Trademark infringement is a violation
of exclusive rights of a proprietary brand

435
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:22,666
without the authorization
of the owner or other licensees.

436
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:25,333
Now, you listen to me, Cabbage Patch.

437
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:27,666
You have no idea
what's going on here, do you?

438
00:19:29,708 --> 00:19:31,166
Well, maybe you'd like to find out.

439
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,708
- Ma'am, you're not thinking of...
- Bring me a box of the x19s.

440
00:19:35,791 --> 00:19:38,375
But, ma'am, all we have at this point
is an untested prototype.

441
00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:40,416
- I cannot recommend...
- You cannot?

442
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,875
Don't you see, Ludwin?

443
00:19:41,958 --> 00:19:46,541
I'm about to finally crush that big
red K that never stops glaring at me.

444
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,833
I hate them.

445
00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:51,375
[music fades]

446
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,625
[twinkling music plays]

447
00:19:53,666 --> 00:19:55,083
Where the hell are they?

448
00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:57,791
[suspenseful music playing]

449
00:20:04,791 --> 00:20:06,791
[epic music playing]

450
00:20:10,416 --> 00:20:11,625
[exhaling]

451
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:15,416
- [chuckles]
- [fire crackling]

452
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,583
[Ludwin coughs]

453
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,375
Ludwin.

454
00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:23,000
- [bursts, crackles]
- Ahh!

455
00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:25,041
Must you be so dramatic?

456
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:27,083
Why does it smell like that?

457
00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:30,500
There's just a small amount
of petroleum in this version.

458
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,250
[gasps, groans]

459
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,083
Forget the toaster. We'll do it raw.

460
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,000
- [toaster clatters]
- We'll do it raw!

461
00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:42,458
I can't believe I'm saying this,

462
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,916
but this is even better
than what's in the dumpster.

463
00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:47,708
Better than what's in the dumpster.

464
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,958
Just what they said about Grape-Nuts.

465
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,458
[pensive music playing]

466
00:20:57,041 --> 00:21:00,000
We're gonna need
to use every inch of this place.

467
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:02,916
I take it you're comfortable
reinstating our veto system.

468
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,625
- I think that would be wise, Bob.
- Any issues?

469
00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:07,541
No. Any issues?

470
00:21:09,041 --> 00:21:10,041
No.

471
00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:11,666
[Edsel] Here's the winning team.

472
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,208
Milk and cereal.

473
00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:15,000
Peanut butter and jelly.

474
00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:17,833
Stankowski and Cabana.

475
00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:19,541
Now I know we can take 'em.

476
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:21,041
You look good, Stan.

477
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:22,583
You look the same.

478
00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:24,583
Well, I just lost 25 pounds.

479
00:21:25,541 --> 00:21:27,791
- I don't miss it.
- You're not supposed to miss it.

480
00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:32,208
- Nobody misses 25 pounds of fat.
- That's what I'm sayin'. I don't miss it.

481
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,375
Stan?

482
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,083
Why is he losing it? Is it 'cause
he's still sweet on Margie Post?

483
00:21:36,166 --> 00:21:38,083
- Would you leave him alone?
- It's not true.

484
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,583
Besides, a... a Post and a Kellogg
could never be. It's forbidden.

485
00:21:41,666 --> 00:21:42,916
Doesn't that make it sexier?

486
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,250
- [gasps]
- Okay.

487
00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,166
I told you this one's a little off.
She's not a company man.

488
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:49,875
- I'm not a man.
- All right. Let's start over.

489
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:53,541
How about the three of us
have a bowl of cereal together right now?

490
00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:56,791
Sure. Why not? I could use a bowl.

491
00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:58,625
- Let's bowl up.
- Bowl time.

492
00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:01,458
["Can't Take My Eyes Off You"
by Frankie Valli playing]

493
00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:07,083
Ah.

494
00:22:08,083 --> 00:22:11,708
<i>♪ You're just too good to be true ♪</i>

495
00:22:11,791 --> 00:22:15,458
<i>♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪</i>

496
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,166
<i>♪ You'd be like heaven to touch ♪</i>

497
00:22:19,791 --> 00:22:23,208
<i>♪ I wanna hold you so much ♪</i>

498
00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:27,000
<i>♪ At long last, love has arrived ♪</i>

499
00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:30,666
<i>♪ And I thank God I'm alive ♪</i>

500
00:22:31,458 --> 00:22:34,958
<i>♪ You're just too good to be true</i>

501
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:38,708
<i>♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪</i>

502
00:22:42,125 --> 00:22:45,875
The magic of cereal is you're eating and
drinking at the same time with one hand.

503
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:48,833
What we need to be able to do
is recreate this euphoric gratification.

504
00:22:48,916 --> 00:22:50,291
{\an8}But in a completely new way.

505
00:22:50,375 --> 00:22:53,625
Well, all of Kellogg's manpower
is at your disposal.

506
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:56,791
That is not gonna work.
If we're gonna beat Post,

507
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,541
we need the most innovative,

508
00:22:58,625 --> 00:23:01,583
unconventional minds of the 1960s.

509
00:23:01,666 --> 00:23:03,000
Well, think you can get them?

510
00:23:04,541 --> 00:23:06,125
They're already on a plane.

511
00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:08,208
Well, he's not.

512
00:23:08,291 --> 00:23:10,000
And this guy's on a bus.

513
00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:12,625
And Einstein's dead. But the rest...

514
00:23:13,166 --> 00:23:15,583
{\an8}- [orchestral fanfare playing]
- [all cheering]

515
00:23:17,833 --> 00:23:20,125
Today, Kellogg's boldly announces

516
00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:25,166
that we are entering the race
to develop the new breakfast dingus.

517
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:27,333
{\an8}I'd like to bring up our head
of development,

518
00:23:27,416 --> 00:23:30,916
Robert Cabana,
to tell you all about it. Uh, Bob?

519
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,250
[all applauding]

520
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:34,791
The brave men you see before you

521
00:23:34,875 --> 00:23:37,958
have been through
an unprecedented series of evaluations.

522
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:40,583
Each is at the top of their field.

523
00:23:40,666 --> 00:23:43,500
Inventive, visionary, fearless.

524
00:23:43,583 --> 00:23:45,416
[all cheering]

525
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:49,375
- Soft-serve ice cream genius, Tom Carvel.
- [crowd cheering]

526
00:23:49,458 --> 00:23:52,541
- Children's bicycle maker, Steve Schwinn.
- [crowd cheering]

527
00:23:52,625 --> 00:23:55,875
Inventor of the Sea-Monkey
and German immigrant,

528
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,541
- Harold von Braunhut.
- [crowd cheering]

529
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:02,833
Canned meatball whiz kid, Chef Boyardee.

530
00:24:03,791 --> 00:24:06,583
Tightly-tailored physical fitness icon,
Jack LaLanne.

531
00:24:06,666 --> 00:24:08,142
- [wolf whistle]
- [cheering continues]

532
00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:11,208
{\an8}And from IBM,
the smartest machine ever made,

533
00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:13,083
{\an8}UNIVAC the computer.

534
00:24:13,166 --> 00:24:14,000
[UNIVAC buzzes]

535
00:24:14,083 --> 00:24:18,166
{\an8}I give you
Kellogg's first-ever taste pilots.

536
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:20,291
[all cheering and applauding]

537
00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:22,541
[dramatic music playing]

538
00:24:25,583 --> 00:24:26,583
[music ends]

539
00:24:28,666 --> 00:24:29,708
[Bob] Questions?

540
00:24:29,791 --> 00:24:32,958
Mr. LaLanne, is this kind of food
really part of your health regimen?

541
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,083
{\an8}Well, sugar's poison,

542
00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:37,583
{\an8}which is why we're developing something
new called high-fructose corn syrup.

543
00:24:37,666 --> 00:24:39,333
{\an8}[all applauding]

544
00:24:39,416 --> 00:24:40,541
[reporters clamoring]

545
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:44,041
Mr. Schwinn, why would you leave
the number one bicycle company in America

546
00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:46,208
to make some unknown edible item?

547
00:24:46,291 --> 00:24:48,083
- That's what we're doing?
- [crowd laughing]

548
00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:49,208
[reporters clamoring]

549
00:24:49,291 --> 00:24:50,500
Uh, next question?

550
00:24:50,583 --> 00:24:53,375
Mr. Carvel, your voice
is so famously unappetizing.

551
00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:55,291
Why did put yourself in your commercials?

552
00:24:55,375 --> 00:24:57,875
Blow it out your trumpet, Sally.
[imitates blowing trumpet]

553
00:24:57,958 --> 00:24:58,958
- [crowd laughing]
- Tom.

554
00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:01,333
[whirring and clicking]

555
00:25:07,625 --> 00:25:09,541
{\an8}[buzzing]

556
00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:14,000
Mr. von Braunhut,
where were you in the early 1940s?

557
00:25:14,083 --> 00:25:16,750
{\an8}That is for me to know
and you not to find out.

558
00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:17,833
{\an8}[laughing]

559
00:25:19,791 --> 00:25:22,583
Okay. Thank you, everyone.
That's it for today.

560
00:25:22,666 --> 00:25:24,916
Excuse me.
I was serious about the 1940s question.

561
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,833
- Can we all just move on?
- Thank you, and we'll see you again.

562
00:25:27,916 --> 00:25:29,583
[all cheering and applauding]

563
00:25:29,666 --> 00:25:31,541
[inspirational music playing]

564
00:25:34,958 --> 00:25:37,833
[brooding music playing]

565
00:25:45,916 --> 00:25:47,083
[music fades]

566
00:25:48,458 --> 00:25:51,125
America is gonna
fall in love with those guys.

567
00:25:51,958 --> 00:25:54,875
- Couple rough spots.
- How masterful was Tom Carvel?

568
00:25:54,958 --> 00:25:57,666
You mean threatening a female journalist
or wearing a dirty shirt?

569
00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:58,791
Yeah, right?

570
00:25:59,916 --> 00:26:02,750
- Hey, what were those milkmen doing there?
- Take a seat.

571
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:06,500
I've kept this from you two over the years

572
00:26:06,583 --> 00:26:09,041
because I just didn't know
how to talk about it.

573
00:26:09,125 --> 00:26:12,833
As we all know, in the beginning,
farmers milked cows for fun.

574
00:26:12,916 --> 00:26:15,541
<i>It was just a gross white liquid</i>

575
00:26:15,625 --> 00:26:17,958
<i>dripping out of some dimwitted beast</i>

576
00:26:18,041 --> 00:26:20,583
that was fun to throw at girls.

577
00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:21,666
But when a ranch hand

578
00:26:21,708 --> 00:26:26,041
<i>named Milky Cashman
spilled some into a bowl of dry cereal,</i>

579
00:26:26,125 --> 00:26:28,208
a million-dollar business was born.

580
00:26:28,291 --> 00:26:30,916
<i>You see, the smiling, friendly milkman,</i>

581
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,000
that's all fake.

582
00:26:32,041 --> 00:26:32,958
[dramatic sting]

583
00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:35,708
They're a greedy, ruthless syndicate,

584
00:26:35,791 --> 00:26:37,625
and they protect what's theirs.

585
00:26:38,208 --> 00:26:42,208
And we are currently developing
a product that doesn't need milk.

586
00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,666
Wait a minute.
What ever happened to Milky Cashman?

587
00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:47,833
He was the first missing person
on the side of a milk carton. Hmm.

588
00:26:48,750 --> 00:26:51,291
His own goddamn milk carton.

589
00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:52,625
Sorry for my French.

590
00:26:52,708 --> 00:26:55,000
- That's not French.
- What does this mean?

591
00:26:55,083 --> 00:27:00,666
What it means is we're about to have
some very powerful people <i>very</i> upset.

592
00:27:00,750 --> 00:27:01,583
Mmm.

593
00:27:01,666 --> 00:27:03,583
I'm not afraid
of those sour cream jockeys.

594
00:27:03,666 --> 00:27:07,083
That kind of attitude could land you
on the business end of a cow.

595
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,208
That means the butt.

596
00:27:10,416 --> 00:27:13,541
{\an8}[marching drums playing]

597
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,791
[whirring and clicking]

598
00:27:18,875 --> 00:27:20,916
[suspenseful music playing]

599
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,708
Bob, this is Purvis Pendleton from IBM.

600
00:27:24,791 --> 00:27:27,875
We really appreciate you guys
loaning this thing out to us.

601
00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:30,142
Tell you the truth,
we're kind of happy to be rid of it.

602
00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:31,833
- Oh.
- [whirring]

603
00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:32,833
Oh.

604
00:27:32,916 --> 00:27:34,208
[whirs, dings]

605
00:27:34,791 --> 00:27:36,375
"Hello, Stan."

606
00:27:36,458 --> 00:27:37,458
[whirring]

607
00:27:39,125 --> 00:27:40,125
[dings]

608
00:27:40,875 --> 00:27:42,375
"Nursed or bottle-fed?"

609
00:27:42,458 --> 00:27:43,291
Neither.

610
00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:44,541
Don't answer that.

611
00:27:45,666 --> 00:27:47,416
No, UNIVAC. No!

612
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,416
- We talked about this.
- [buzzes]

613
00:27:52,208 --> 00:27:53,041
"Sea-Monkeys."

614
00:27:53,125 --> 00:27:55,625
"The real live fun pets
you grow yourself"?

615
00:27:55,708 --> 00:27:57,750
- Come on.
- [Harold] Here they are. So simple.

616
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:00,500
You pour them in, stir the water...

617
00:28:01,458 --> 00:28:02,333
[clinking]

618
00:28:02,416 --> 00:28:04,083
Behold, life.

619
00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:07,375
- Genius, no?
- And it's just dried-out shrimp eggs?

620
00:28:07,458 --> 00:28:10,583
Correct. Worthless. Yet the little ones
send me their allowance money.

621
00:28:10,666 --> 00:28:14,375
- Defrauding children. Lovely.
- Don't get me wrong. I love the children.

622
00:28:14,875 --> 00:28:18,208
Although due to a cruel prank of nature,
I can have none of my own.

623
00:28:18,291 --> 00:28:20,166
- [both gasp]
- What are you looking at?

624
00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:22,458
Don't you see I'm pouring my heart out?!

625
00:28:22,541 --> 00:28:24,208
[in Italian] Don't send me back to Italy.

626
00:28:24,291 --> 00:28:28,291
I have debts. Serious men want to hurt me.

627
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:30,666
That's some good seafood.

628
00:28:31,458 --> 00:28:33,500
I thought you said these were geniuses.

629
00:28:33,583 --> 00:28:35,708
These were the geniuses that we could get.

630
00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:39,500
- I gotta talk to Jack about...
- That fruit juicer in his pants?

631
00:28:39,583 --> 00:28:40,875
[Bob] Yeah, it's a focus puller.

632
00:28:40,958 --> 00:28:44,416
Does he go on TV like that? Do they shoot
him from the waist up like Elvis?

633
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:46,416
- [Stan] I hope so.
- [beeping]

634
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:47,916
[whirs, dings]

635
00:28:49,958 --> 00:28:51,083
He's right.

636
00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:54,375
[whimsical music playing]

637
00:28:56,041 --> 00:28:58,041
[inaudible]

638
00:28:59,291 --> 00:29:01,750
- So, how was your hotel?
- Oh, it's nice.

639
00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,193
They've got me at the Holiday Inn.

640
00:29:03,250 --> 00:29:05,166
[Stan] Can't go wrong
with the Holiday Inn.

641
00:29:05,250 --> 00:29:07,083
[Purvis] Ice machines on every floor.

642
00:29:07,166 --> 00:29:09,250
[Stan] Clean, paper bands
on the toilet seat.

643
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:10,458
Classy operation.

644
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:13,666
Okay, so just to be clear,
you want a smooth look.

645
00:29:13,750 --> 00:29:17,250
That gets weird too. I'm not a doll.
But I'll be one if you want me to be.

646
00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:18,791
Just do something. I don't care.

647
00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:21,000
- Ah! You got it, boss. [chuckles]
- [Bob] Okay.

648
00:29:21,583 --> 00:29:23,791
[whimsical music plays]

649
00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:26,958
[dramatic music playing]

650
00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:28,291
They got LaLanne?

651
00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:32,208
They're stacking the deck with ringers.

652
00:29:33,291 --> 00:29:34,791
I had them on their backs,

653
00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:37,000
flipped over like a turtle.

654
00:29:37,916 --> 00:29:40,791
- How long before we're on shelves?
- We're not out the lab yet.

655
00:29:40,875 --> 00:29:43,250
We're figuring out
what's causing the buttock rashes.

656
00:29:43,333 --> 00:29:46,791
You are a rash on my buttocks, Ludwin.

657
00:29:46,875 --> 00:29:50,000
- We also need a name.
- What's the best we have right now?

658
00:29:50,083 --> 00:29:51,416
Well, we're down to three.

659
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:55,291
Dextrose Dillies, Wonder Gels,
and Fresh Flatties.

660
00:29:56,083 --> 00:29:57,000
Hmm.

661
00:29:57,083 --> 00:30:00,125
Those are all pretty strong.
There's one clear winner.

662
00:30:00,208 --> 00:30:01,041
Yes.

663
00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:02,708
- Dextrose Dillies.
- Fresh Flatties.

664
00:30:03,208 --> 00:30:07,208
Ludwin, just get those
goddamn fruit flabby funk fritters,

665
00:30:07,291 --> 00:30:10,416
whatever the hell they're called,
out the door and down kids' throats.

666
00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:13,291
But, ma'am, we haven't even
negotiated for shelf space yet.

667
00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:14,958
Leave that to me.

668
00:30:16,250 --> 00:30:17,625
I like Funk Fritters.

669
00:30:17,708 --> 00:30:20,291
It's fun. Zippy. Let's go with that.

670
00:30:20,375 --> 00:30:22,541
Or let's go with this.

671
00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:24,375
[yelping]

672
00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:27,208
[wondrous music playing]

673
00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:31,708
Do you think we should've hired people
that know more about food?

674
00:30:31,791 --> 00:30:33,000
Could have.

675
00:30:33,083 --> 00:30:38,666
[Thurl] Trumpets, fanfare, alarums,
for rehearsal is about to commence.

676
00:30:38,750 --> 00:30:41,916
This space has been reserved
for me and my players.

677
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,166
To do what?

678
00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:44,791
Philip, a flyer, please.

679
00:30:46,166 --> 00:30:48,958
{\an8}"Kellogg's Cereals presents
Thurl Ravenscroft as King Lear."

680
00:30:49,041 --> 00:30:52,000
{\an8}"Entirely reconceived and reimagined
by Thurl Ravenscroft,

681
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:54,250
starring Thurl Ravenscroft."

682
00:30:54,333 --> 00:30:57,333
And then it just says
"Thurl Ravenscroft" again at the bottom.

683
00:30:57,416 --> 00:30:59,708
This is Shakespeare for the 1960s.

684
00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:02,583
God knows, as relevant now as ever was.

685
00:31:02,666 --> 00:31:04,833
[whispering] Couldn't be more irrelevant.

686
00:31:04,916 --> 00:31:05,791
[smacks lips]

687
00:31:05,875 --> 00:31:07,958
[Bob] Thurl, you can't be here right now.

688
00:31:08,541 --> 00:31:10,625
I believe my contract is clear.

689
00:31:10,708 --> 00:31:13,458
I play your ridiculous box-top tiger

690
00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:19,500
in exchange for bringing some culture
to the lowborn, dirt-digging Michi-goon.

691
00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:20,666
You mean me?

692
00:31:20,750 --> 00:31:22,958
- I do.
- Stan, thank you.

693
00:31:24,166 --> 00:31:28,041
- Thurl, you are our most important star.
- Hmm.

694
00:31:28,125 --> 00:31:30,625
But we can't prioritize
the high arts right now.

695
00:31:30,708 --> 00:31:34,041
I see. How's the lab, Bob?

696
00:31:34,708 --> 00:31:36,500
Oh, the head temperature.

697
00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:40,333
Great news. They think they can put
a coolant pump in your jowls.

698
00:31:40,416 --> 00:31:41,333
Can they?

699
00:31:41,416 --> 00:31:42,416
No.

700
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:43,875
Hmm.

701
00:31:43,958 --> 00:31:45,333
I like your Burger King crown.

702
00:31:45,416 --> 00:31:47,833
I like your hairdo.
You look like a telephone.

703
00:31:47,916 --> 00:31:49,541
I like your patchy mustache.

704
00:31:49,625 --> 00:31:52,750
- I like your patchy mustache.
- I like your cadaver teeth.

705
00:31:53,583 --> 00:31:55,583
[brooding music playing]

706
00:31:56,625 --> 00:31:58,958
Beware of entrance to a quarrel.

707
00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:01,416
But once in it...

708
00:32:03,541 --> 00:32:04,583
beware of me.

709
00:32:04,666 --> 00:32:06,333
[music crescendoes, ends]

710
00:32:06,416 --> 00:32:09,500
- What are you, some kind of ding-dong?
- And I'm gone.

711
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,125
Excuse me. Mr. Kellogg needs you.

712
00:32:12,208 --> 00:32:14,416
A meeting of the five cereal families
has been called.

713
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:15,375
By who?

714
00:32:15,458 --> 00:32:18,250
Who do you think?
Marge Post is making her move.

715
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,625
[dramatic music builds]

716
00:32:21,625 --> 00:32:23,375
I'd like to thank you all for coming.

717
00:32:23,958 --> 00:32:25,083
General Mills,

718
00:32:25,750 --> 00:32:26,750
Ralston,

719
00:32:27,208 --> 00:32:28,333
Quaker,

720
00:32:28,416 --> 00:32:29,416
and Kellogg's.

721
00:32:30,291 --> 00:32:33,833
And thanks to Ernie Keebler
for providing the Fudge Stripes.

722
00:32:34,708 --> 00:32:36,041
Are the snacks complimentary?

723
00:32:36,125 --> 00:32:37,833
- Let's just pay attention.
- Right.

724
00:32:37,916 --> 00:32:40,166
Spare us the frosting, Marge.
Just get to it.

725
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:42,500
And that is why I called this meeting.

726
00:32:43,250 --> 00:32:44,375
Respect.

727
00:32:45,125 --> 00:32:49,708
We at the Post company have
finally broken the fruit pastry barrier.

728
00:32:49,791 --> 00:32:52,875
- Because you stole our research.
- Nevertheless.

729
00:32:52,958 --> 00:32:57,166
Why can't this technology be generic
so that we all can wet our spoons?

730
00:32:57,250 --> 00:32:59,666
- Like we did with Raisin Bran.
- Not this time.

731
00:33:00,375 --> 00:33:02,166
These are my new terms.

732
00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:05,333
From now on,
Post gets premium shelf space.

733
00:33:05,416 --> 00:33:08,000
Nothing near kosher foods or cat chow.

734
00:33:08,083 --> 00:33:12,333
Saturday morning cartoons,
I want <i>Deputy Dawg</i> and <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

735
00:33:12,416 --> 00:33:13,625
Oh, come on, Marge!

736
00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:17,625
And I want out of Claymation characters
with religious themes.

737
00:33:17,708 --> 00:33:19,250
It's a snoozer.

738
00:33:19,333 --> 00:33:21,250
Oh, you can put my name on those.

739
00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:23,958
How do we know this thing
is even producible in quantities?

740
00:33:24,041 --> 00:33:26,708
You'll know it when you see it
on store shelves next week

741
00:33:26,791 --> 00:33:28,333
and then flying off them.

742
00:33:29,291 --> 00:33:31,958
Always a little surprise inside,
right, Eddie?

743
00:33:32,041 --> 00:33:33,041
[kisses]

744
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:35,166
[exhales sharply, gulps]

745
00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:36,791
[chairs scraping]

746
00:33:36,875 --> 00:33:39,333
Next week? I... I thought we had months.

747
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:41,500
[sighs]

748
00:33:41,583 --> 00:33:44,291
What was that? You don't like him, do you?

749
00:33:44,375 --> 00:33:47,541
It could never be, Ludwin.
A Post and a Kellogg, it's forbidden.

750
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:49,625
[chuckles] Wouldn't that make it sexier?

751
00:33:49,708 --> 00:33:51,666
I hope you die in a car fire.

752
00:33:53,541 --> 00:33:56,083
We're dead. My legacy.

753
00:33:56,166 --> 00:33:57,291
My sod.

754
00:33:58,750 --> 00:34:01,500
It's a bold move to put
chocolate on top of a cookie.

755
00:34:01,583 --> 00:34:04,875
'Cause it's something already sweet,
and then you're doubling down on it.

756
00:34:04,958 --> 00:34:07,125
But I guess
you can never get enough sugar.

757
00:34:07,208 --> 00:34:08,750
[intriguing music playing]

758
00:34:08,833 --> 00:34:11,375
Unless you can't get enough.
Pack your bags.

759
00:34:11,458 --> 00:34:13,916
We're gonna put a kink
in Post's garden hose.

760
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,833
[salsa music playing]

761
00:34:26,291 --> 00:34:28,250
[Bob] Just so you know,
he's very dangerous.

762
00:34:28,333 --> 00:34:30,458
And he loves live entertainment.

763
00:34:30,541 --> 00:34:32,958
And he controls 99% of the world's sugar?

764
00:34:33,041 --> 00:34:36,416
He's a very important man.
They call him El Sucre.

765
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:40,208
Ah, my Kellogg's friends. Please.

766
00:34:40,291 --> 00:34:42,375
[Bob] El Sucre, so good to see you again.

767
00:34:42,458 --> 00:34:43,750
Amazing house.

768
00:34:43,833 --> 00:34:47,041
Oh, well, thank you.
But the grout on the patio is not right.

769
00:34:47,708 --> 00:34:51,000
These tile guys.
It was supposed to be a white white.

770
00:34:51,083 --> 00:34:54,375
It's more of an off-white.
They have to redo the whole thing.

771
00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:56,916
They show you so many samples,
you make yourself crazy.

772
00:34:57,875 --> 00:34:58,958
You say I'm crazy?

773
00:34:59,041 --> 00:35:00,916
[unsettling music builds]

774
00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:04,083
No.

775
00:35:04,166 --> 00:35:05,583
[music ends]

776
00:35:05,666 --> 00:35:10,083
El Sucre, we want to
significantly increase our monthly sugar.

777
00:35:10,166 --> 00:35:12,666
Yes. My special white powder
gets a grip on you, no?

778
00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:14,458
But business can wait.

779
00:35:14,541 --> 00:35:18,666
In this hard life, we must also enjoy, no?
A little entertainment, hmm?

780
00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:22,375
From Cal Neva Lodge in Nevada,
please welcome Eddie Mink and Danny.

781
00:35:22,458 --> 00:35:24,333
- [Stan] Uh...
- [El Sucre applauding]

782
00:35:24,416 --> 00:35:25,625
Thank you very much.

783
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:27,875
Hey, Danny.

784
00:35:27,958 --> 00:35:29,791
How about this beautiful house?

785
00:35:29,875 --> 00:35:32,625
Yeah, if you don't mind the bad grout job.

786
00:35:32,708 --> 00:35:34,583
[laughing] Oh, he went right to it.

787
00:35:34,666 --> 00:35:36,333
[Danny] What's the big deal?

788
00:35:36,416 --> 00:35:38,208
There are blobs. It's all...

789
00:35:38,875 --> 00:35:39,791
[whimpers]

790
00:35:39,875 --> 00:35:42,541
Such a hard job, making people laugh.

791
00:35:42,625 --> 00:35:43,625
But so important.

792
00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:45,833
Anyway, gentlemen, back to business. Hmm?

793
00:35:46,458 --> 00:35:47,750
[gun fires]

794
00:35:51,291 --> 00:35:52,291
[Stan] Hmm.

795
00:35:52,375 --> 00:35:55,708
- El Sucre, sugar is why we came.
- [El Sucre] Yes, it is why everyone comes.

796
00:35:55,791 --> 00:35:58,291
- How much are we talking?
- We want all of it.

797
00:35:58,375 --> 00:36:00,875
So you're finally
going to finish off Post.

798
00:36:01,375 --> 00:36:02,791
That will cost you quite a bit.

799
00:36:02,875 --> 00:36:05,958
We have something very big coming out.
Money will not be an issue.

800
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:06,875
Oh. I know it won't.

801
00:36:06,958 --> 00:36:10,416
Because in my business, we have a saying.
"Pay us, or we kill you."

802
00:36:11,083 --> 00:36:12,666
- Appreciate it.
- [El Sucre] Yes.

803
00:36:13,208 --> 00:36:16,541
- All right, then. Then there we have it.
- Yes.

804
00:36:16,625 --> 00:36:19,833
Okay. Thank you for, uh,
you know, the spread and...

805
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,236
No, please. Thank you for coming.

806
00:36:21,291 --> 00:36:23,625
And good luck
with everything that you're doing,

807
00:36:23,708 --> 00:36:25,666
which we didn't have
a chance to talk about.

808
00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:27,000
Next time.

809
00:36:27,083 --> 00:36:28,416
- [chuckles]
- [El Sucre] Eh...

810
00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:32,208
[Danny] I'm dying, Eddie!

811
00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:33,666
[shushing]

812
00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:35,208
You done good, kid.

813
00:36:35,291 --> 00:36:38,666
- You done real good.
- I can't believe he's still doing the act.

814
00:36:38,750 --> 00:36:40,208
- He's a professional.
- Mmm.

815
00:36:42,125 --> 00:36:44,208
- [Edsel] You bought all of it?
- All of it.

816
00:36:44,291 --> 00:36:47,041
I mean, that's a lot of sugar
and a lot of money.

817
00:36:47,125 --> 00:36:49,250
And you don't play with El Sucre.

818
00:36:49,333 --> 00:36:51,916
- It's going to work.
- It already has.

819
00:36:52,708 --> 00:36:53,791
[Edsel] Let me see.

820
00:36:56,583 --> 00:37:00,416
No smoke out of the stacks.
They're not making anything.

821
00:37:01,041 --> 00:37:02,083
Oh, this is good.

822
00:37:02,166 --> 00:37:04,583
[smooth jazz music playing]

823
00:37:04,666 --> 00:37:06,708
This is very good.

824
00:37:07,208 --> 00:37:08,958
- [dramatic sting]
- [gasps]

825
00:37:11,291 --> 00:37:14,708
- Are you okay, ma'am?
- Of course. Did you find us any sugar?

826
00:37:14,791 --> 00:37:16,625
I might have something better.

827
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:20,375
It's an artificial sweetener.
They call it Carcin-O-Sweet.

828
00:37:20,458 --> 00:37:22,833
A thousand times sweeter than sugar.

829
00:37:22,916 --> 00:37:25,750
But the health problems
are off the charts.

830
00:37:25,833 --> 00:37:29,375
Darty eyes, gout,
tongue loss, night terrors, night sweats,

831
00:37:29,458 --> 00:37:31,916
and, our old friend, buttock rashes.

832
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,041
Stop.

833
00:37:35,875 --> 00:37:37,583
Okay. Uh, what about this?

834
00:37:37,666 --> 00:37:40,000
What if we completely change direction?

835
00:37:40,083 --> 00:37:41,291
Eliminate all sugar.

836
00:37:41,375 --> 00:37:44,958
Become the first
healthy lifestyle breakfast brand.

837
00:37:45,041 --> 00:37:47,083
Make a negative a positive.

838
00:37:47,875 --> 00:37:49,083
For the children.

839
00:37:49,166 --> 00:37:51,708
Imagine a new American generation,

840
00:37:52,666 --> 00:37:55,750
fit, healthy, even-tempered.

841
00:37:55,833 --> 00:37:57,791
So, what do you think?

842
00:37:57,875 --> 00:37:59,195
- [grunts]
- [body thuds on floor]

843
00:38:01,291 --> 00:38:02,541
[typewriter thuds on floor]

844
00:38:04,208 --> 00:38:06,500
[cheerful music playing]

845
00:38:07,083 --> 00:38:08,083
[both] Mmm.

846
00:38:08,750 --> 00:38:10,083
[dog barking]

847
00:38:10,750 --> 00:38:14,250
[suspicious music playing]

848
00:38:22,208 --> 00:38:23,333
- [dramatic sting]
- [gasps]

849
00:38:23,416 --> 00:38:26,791
- Something I can help you with?
- No, I was just admiring your rig.

850
00:38:26,875 --> 00:38:27,708
Sweet ride.

851
00:38:27,791 --> 00:38:28,958
Sure is.

852
00:38:29,666 --> 00:38:32,375
You know, it's the calcium
in milk that keeps bones strong.

853
00:38:32,458 --> 00:38:35,166
- Uh-huh.
- Without milk, bones can break.

854
00:38:35,250 --> 00:38:36,916
They just snap.

855
00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:40,041
- Have a good day, Mr. Cabana.
- Yeah. You... you too.

856
00:38:42,416 --> 00:38:43,416
{\an8}[pensive music playing]

857
00:38:43,458 --> 00:38:46,041
{\an8}[Bob] We don't have much time.
How close are the taste pilots?

858
00:38:46,125 --> 00:38:47,333
They're very, very far away.

859
00:38:47,416 --> 00:38:50,458
Maybe they're so far away
they're closer than they realize.

860
00:38:50,541 --> 00:38:51,458
[sighs]

861
00:38:51,541 --> 00:38:53,250
I don't think he listens to you.

862
00:38:53,833 --> 00:38:55,750
- [Stan] What's that?
- I said that...

863
00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,250
[Bob] Okay, Steve, showtime.

864
00:38:57,333 --> 00:39:00,916
I haven't been able
to come up with any food things per se.

865
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,708
But I built this new Sting-Ray bike

866
00:39:03,791 --> 00:39:07,041
that's smaller and easier
for a kid to handle.

867
00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,041
What?

868
00:39:08,125 --> 00:39:08,958
[bike bell ringing]

869
00:39:09,041 --> 00:39:12,125
It doesn't matter what you make.
It matters what you call it.

870
00:39:12,208 --> 00:39:15,791
Which is why we should call
our new product Kellogg's Puss.

871
00:39:16,625 --> 00:39:19,166
Is that an ice cream cake of me?

872
00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:20,250
Yes.

873
00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:23,291
- I see no wasted time here.
- You got the nose right.

874
00:39:23,875 --> 00:39:25,291
Well, in addition to our mission,

875
00:39:25,375 --> 00:39:29,125
I realized that I was on the wrong track
pants-wise until a friend set me straight.

876
00:39:29,208 --> 00:39:32,500
That's why I invented
the Kellogg's Sauna Suit,

877
00:39:32,583 --> 00:39:36,833
foil-lined inflatable weight-loss pants
that lock in heat and moisture

878
00:39:36,916 --> 00:39:40,416
and say to the world,
"Hey, eyes up here, not down there."

879
00:39:41,333 --> 00:39:43,083
[suit pops, whistles]

880
00:39:43,166 --> 00:39:45,166
Inspired by his ravioli,

881
00:39:45,250 --> 00:39:50,083
we have crimped the pastry edge square
to hold the jelly in.

882
00:39:50,166 --> 00:39:53,541
- That's something.
- I call it the Kellogg's Fruit Monkey.

883
00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:54,625
[exclaims]

884
00:39:55,125 --> 00:39:56,333
[Bob] Ah.

885
00:39:56,416 --> 00:39:57,541
[suspenseful music playing]

886
00:39:57,625 --> 00:39:58,750
- [Stan] Ooh.
- Whoa.

887
00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:01,166
What do you do? Why is it moving?

888
00:40:01,250 --> 00:40:03,541
[in Italian] I made Sea-Monkey ravioli.

889
00:40:03,625 --> 00:40:06,916
- They put the Sea-Monkeys inside.
- I said strawberries, you fool.

890
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,416
Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs.

891
00:40:09,916 --> 00:40:12,833
I've entered all the data
into UNIVAC to analyze.

892
00:40:12,916 --> 00:40:14,250
[music crescendoes, ends]

893
00:40:16,208 --> 00:40:17,208
"Post wins."

894
00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:19,166
[sighs]

895
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:22,166
I didn't need
a million-dollar abacus to tell me that.

896
00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:24,125
It's garbage.

897
00:40:25,041 --> 00:40:26,083
All garbage.

898
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:28,625
[melancholic music playing]

899
00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:33,291
- Now what?
- Now what? You were my now what.

900
00:40:33,375 --> 00:40:36,416
These guys were your now what.
You tell me now what.

901
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,208
[Steve] So, are we done?

902
00:40:38,708 --> 00:40:41,416
I just moved my whole family here.

903
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,333
My... my wife is in a reading group.

904
00:40:43,416 --> 00:40:44,625
She chose the book.

905
00:40:44,708 --> 00:40:46,833
I was going to the moon, Schwinn.

906
00:40:46,916 --> 00:40:48,416
I was going to Argentina.

907
00:40:50,083 --> 00:40:51,208
[Bob exhales]

908
00:40:58,500 --> 00:40:59,833
- [clatters]
- [boy] Ow!

909
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:01,541
Oh, hi, Mr. Cabana.

910
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:03,625
Butchie, Cathy,
what are you guys doing here?

911
00:41:03,708 --> 00:41:05,583
Why... Why aren't you
in the Post dumpsters?

912
00:41:05,666 --> 00:41:08,125
They started spraying
coyote urine to keep us out.

913
00:41:08,208 --> 00:41:11,625
Oh, that's a shame. Well, you won't find
anything good in our trash.

914
00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:14,166
- Oh yeah? Look at this.
- What is that?

915
00:41:14,250 --> 00:41:16,666
It's stale Rice Krispies
and melted marshmallows.

916
00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:17,875
It's a treat.

917
00:41:17,958 --> 00:41:20,333
You know, Bob,
we've been through this before.

918
00:41:20,416 --> 00:41:24,166
When you're dealing with garbage, you have
to let go of conventional expectation.

919
00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:26,083
Just combine whatever you have.

920
00:41:26,166 --> 00:41:28,708
You kids sure get philosophical
in these dumpsters.

921
00:41:35,708 --> 00:41:37,333
Combine whatever you have.

922
00:41:39,916 --> 00:41:42,416
- [dramatic music building]
- [bike bell ringing]

923
00:41:44,208 --> 00:41:45,458
- [gasps]
- [music stops]

924
00:41:47,166 --> 00:41:49,125
Boy, they don't pull any punches.

925
00:41:49,208 --> 00:41:51,583
- You ever eaten garbage, Stan?
- Sure.

926
00:41:51,666 --> 00:41:55,166
You let go of all your expectations
and just combine whatever you have.

927
00:41:55,666 --> 00:41:57,000
Let me show you something.

928
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Chef Boyardee and Sea-Monkey Guy,

929
00:42:00,083 --> 00:42:04,458
the clever crimping
of the pastry edge to seal in the filling.

930
00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:07,208
Tom Carvel, the importance of the name.

931
00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:08,708
Okay. Okay.

932
00:42:09,291 --> 00:42:11,166
So, Jack LaLanne,

933
00:42:11,250 --> 00:42:14,416
metal-lined hot pants,
keeping his fruits moist and fresh.

934
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:15,958
[Bob] Yes. UNIVAC.

935
00:42:16,041 --> 00:42:18,750
The punch cards,
rectangular shape with holes in it.

936
00:42:18,833 --> 00:42:21,375
And Steve Schwinn, sweet little Steve,

937
00:42:21,458 --> 00:42:24,041
who invents things
that are easy for kids to handle.

938
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,250
And maybe they can't handle an oven.

939
00:42:26,333 --> 00:42:29,250
- But they can handle a toaster.
- A toaster.

940
00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:30,250
[snaps fingers] Yah!

941
00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:32,333
Which means two-per-foil pack...

942
00:42:32,416 --> 00:42:33,333
[chalk scribbling]

943
00:42:33,416 --> 00:42:34,541
...rectangular shape,

944
00:42:35,125 --> 00:42:36,250
crimped edges,

945
00:42:36,333 --> 00:42:37,416
fruit-filled,

946
00:42:38,208 --> 00:42:39,291
and a catchy name.

947
00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:40,458
Press the handle down.

948
00:42:41,125 --> 00:42:42,125
[gasps]

949
00:42:42,666 --> 00:42:46,333
Stan, my friend, I believe
we have split the atom of breakfast.

950
00:42:46,416 --> 00:42:49,500
[epic music plays]

951
00:42:49,583 --> 00:42:51,708
["The Twist" by Chubby Checker playing]

952
00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:54,083
<i>♪ Let's do the twist ♪</i>

953
00:42:54,166 --> 00:42:55,666
[vocalizing]

954
00:42:55,750 --> 00:42:58,250
<i>♪ Come on, baby ♪</i>

955
00:42:58,333 --> 00:42:59,958
<i>♪ Let's do the twist ♪</i>

956
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,541
<i>♪ Take me by my little hand... ♪</i>

957
00:43:02,625 --> 00:43:03,625
[blowing raspberry]

958
00:43:04,458 --> 00:43:06,166
<i>♪ And go like this ♪</i>

959
00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:09,333
<i>♪ E-yah twist ♪</i>

960
00:43:09,958 --> 00:43:11,458
<i>♪ Baby, baby, twist... ♪</i>

961
00:43:11,541 --> 00:43:13,333
That Carvel does a pretty good twist.

962
00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:17,125
- That's how his ice cream comes out.
- Seems lewd, animalistic.

963
00:43:17,208 --> 00:43:20,250
- Girls love guys that can do the twist.
- Why?

964
00:43:20,333 --> 00:43:23,208
The shoulder motion
in opposition to the hip rotation.

965
00:43:23,291 --> 00:43:24,958
It implies financial stability.

966
00:43:25,041 --> 00:43:26,833
- [Bob] Mmm.
- Oh.

967
00:43:27,791 --> 00:43:31,041
You know, Boyardee,
our Sea-Monkey creation is evolving.

968
00:43:31,125 --> 00:43:33,333
I put him in an aquarium and he swam.

969
00:43:33,875 --> 00:43:34,708
So happy.

970
00:43:34,791 --> 00:43:37,166
It's a miracle. He's a real boy.

971
00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:38,333
[chuckling]

972
00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,833
[in Italian] Whatever he is,
he belongs in a can.

973
00:43:40,916 --> 00:43:42,500
[laughs]

974
00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:45,333
So how close are we
to an edible prototype?

975
00:43:45,416 --> 00:43:48,541
I can tell you when
we're not gonna have it, tomorrow morning.

976
00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:50,666
- I need a pants chug! Whoo!
- [clinking]

977
00:43:50,750 --> 00:43:53,916
[all chanting] Pants chug!
Pants chug! Pants chug!

978
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,625
[all cheering]

979
00:43:58,166 --> 00:44:00,000
[curious music playing]

980
00:44:00,083 --> 00:44:01,291
[mumbles]

981
00:44:03,833 --> 00:44:04,750
[clinking]

982
00:44:04,833 --> 00:44:06,833
[dramatic music playing]

983
00:44:12,125 --> 00:44:13,208
[yelling]

984
00:44:14,625 --> 00:44:15,708
[squeaking]

985
00:44:15,791 --> 00:44:18,166
- [dramatic music crescendoes]
- [grunts angrily]

986
00:44:18,875 --> 00:44:21,208
[smooth jazz music playing]

987
00:44:23,333 --> 00:44:27,125
Sugar. We need sugar, Ludwin.
What did the Hawaiians say?

988
00:44:27,208 --> 00:44:29,541
They need everything
they have for those pineapple rings.

989
00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:31,666
- Sugar Ray Robinson?
- No, just a nickname.

990
00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:33,875
- Really?
- If only we could get to Cuba.

991
00:44:33,958 --> 00:44:36,750
Cuba? I know who may be able to help.

992
00:44:37,375 --> 00:44:40,458
But he's a short, ill-tempered
bald man with a twisted mind.

993
00:44:40,541 --> 00:44:43,208
- Uncle Fester?
- No. But I like that show.

994
00:44:43,291 --> 00:44:44,750
Pack your bags, Ludwin.

995
00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,583
We're going to Moscow.

996
00:44:46,666 --> 00:44:48,833
[patriotic song playing]

997
00:44:50,583 --> 00:44:52,083
[tires screeching]

998
00:44:58,833 --> 00:44:59,875
[song ends]

999
00:44:59,958 --> 00:45:04,458
Thank you so much for helping us
with our little sugar problem, Nikita.

1000
00:45:04,541 --> 00:45:06,750
[speaking gibberish in Russian accent]

1001
00:45:06,833 --> 00:45:09,791
He wants badly know,
how hold up deal on your end?

1002
00:45:09,875 --> 00:45:13,250
Now, you asked
for a fun American-style children's cereal

1003
00:45:13,333 --> 00:45:15,666
for Soviet Russia, and we heard you.

1004
00:45:15,750 --> 00:45:17,791
But we're not listening
or spying or anything.

1005
00:45:18,416 --> 00:45:22,250
[inhales deeply] It's no secret
Russian children like beets.

1006
00:45:22,333 --> 00:45:23,708
So they'll love

1007
00:45:24,708 --> 00:45:25,750
Borscht Loops.

1008
00:45:25,833 --> 00:45:27,833
[whimsical music playing]

1009
00:45:28,666 --> 00:45:30,208
Okay. Next up,

1010
00:45:30,791 --> 00:45:31,958
Krumb-Lins.

1011
00:45:32,041 --> 00:45:33,166
Nothing but crumbs.

1012
00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:35,541
[Marjorie] And, finally,

1013
00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:39,708
say hello to everyone's favorite
liquor-based cereal treat,

1014
00:45:40,333 --> 00:45:42,250
Count Vodkulas.

1015
00:45:42,333 --> 00:45:44,791
[in Eastern European accent]
"I want to eat your cereal."

1016
00:45:44,875 --> 00:45:45,958
[whispering] Shut up.

1017
00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:47,791
Would you like to try one?

1018
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:48,875
Hmm.

1019
00:45:49,375 --> 00:45:50,750
[box ripping open]

1020
00:45:51,708 --> 00:45:52,708
You taste first.

1021
00:45:53,625 --> 00:45:55,791
People try to poison Mr. Khrushchev.

1022
00:45:57,083 --> 00:45:58,083
Try it, Ludwin.

1023
00:45:58,666 --> 00:46:00,875
But this has been out
of our sight since customs.

1024
00:46:00,958 --> 00:46:01,958
Eat it.

1025
00:46:02,041 --> 00:46:04,041
[suspenseful music playing]

1026
00:46:05,333 --> 00:46:06,666
[crunching]

1027
00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,291
Mmm.

1028
00:46:12,541 --> 00:46:14,125
[speaking gibberish in Russian accent]

1029
00:46:14,208 --> 00:46:15,083
Is deal.

1030
00:46:15,166 --> 00:46:18,708
Terrific. When can we expect
our first sugar shipment?

1031
00:46:18,791 --> 00:46:21,875
[speaking gibberish in Russian accent]

1032
00:46:21,958 --> 00:46:25,375
He says it all depends on
whether you make the sex with him tonight.

1033
00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:26,458
Wow.

1034
00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:28,916
- Ma'am.
- Mm-hmm.

1035
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,291
- We really need that sugar.
- You wanna do it?

1036
00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:34,166
No. But I ate the poison cereal
and I'm fine.

1037
00:46:36,083 --> 00:46:37,541
[inhales sharply] Oh.

1038
00:46:37,625 --> 00:46:39,166
[cheerful music playing]

1039
00:46:41,333 --> 00:46:42,333
[dramatic sting]

1040
00:46:43,416 --> 00:46:45,416
[suspicious music playing]

1041
00:46:52,083 --> 00:46:53,583
- [Mike] Quick question.
- [gasps]

1042
00:46:53,666 --> 00:46:55,458
You think this milk's still okay to drink?

1043
00:46:55,541 --> 00:46:57,541
- What? How would I know?
- [Mike] Smell it.

1044
00:46:57,625 --> 00:46:59,083
[sniffs, groans]

1045
00:46:59,166 --> 00:47:00,166
It's not good.

1046
00:47:00,666 --> 00:47:02,125
What's the expiration?

1047
00:47:02,208 --> 00:47:03,208
[body thuds on ground]

1048
00:47:03,791 --> 00:47:05,333
[in high-pitched voice] July 3rd.

1049
00:47:06,333 --> 00:47:07,500
[cowbell clanging]

1050
00:47:08,416 --> 00:47:11,125
[suspenseful music playing]

1051
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:19,750
Rise and shine.

1052
00:47:20,583 --> 00:47:21,750
[cowbell clanging]

1053
00:47:25,791 --> 00:47:29,083
Welcome to Friendly Farms, Mr. Cabana,

1054
00:47:29,166 --> 00:47:31,833
where life begins.

1055
00:47:33,041 --> 00:47:35,041
[sinister music playing]

1056
00:47:37,916 --> 00:47:41,416
That milk you smelled
expired five weeks ago.

1057
00:47:42,083 --> 00:47:43,375
Another minute,

1058
00:47:43,458 --> 00:47:45,625
and you wouldn't be smelling
anything right now.

1059
00:47:45,708 --> 00:47:49,333
- Are you a milkman?
- The name's Harry Friendly.

1060
00:47:50,375 --> 00:47:52,458
And you might say I am <i>the</i> milkman.

1061
00:47:53,833 --> 00:47:57,125
You know the first taste
a human being experiences at birth?

1062
00:47:57,625 --> 00:47:59,208
- Applesauce?
- Oh.

1063
00:48:00,583 --> 00:48:02,458
Milk, Mr. Cabana.

1064
00:48:02,541 --> 00:48:03,375
Right.

1065
00:48:03,458 --> 00:48:07,416
And in the milk business, we are not
just part of the American dream.

1066
00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:10,416
We are the white
in the red, white, and blue.

1067
00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:14,166
We are the cream
that rises so famously to the top,

1068
00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:16,750
and you, Mr. Cabana,

1069
00:48:16,833 --> 00:48:22,000
have become the annoying white ring
that sticks to the bottom.

1070
00:48:22,083 --> 00:48:24,291
Because despite all your years
in the breakfast game,

1071
00:48:24,375 --> 00:48:26,375
you seem to have missed something.

1072
00:48:26,458 --> 00:48:27,666
[inhales deeply]

1073
00:48:28,208 --> 00:48:30,833
There's no cereal business without us.

1074
00:48:30,916 --> 00:48:34,500
So you can see
how it really frosts my <i>huevos</i>

1075
00:48:34,583 --> 00:48:39,000
to see you relieving yourself
in our flowing rivers of white gold.

1076
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:41,666
How long we known each other, Bob?

1077
00:48:41,750 --> 00:48:44,041
[smacks lips, inhales]
Since you captured me.

1078
00:48:44,125 --> 00:48:44,958
Oh.

1079
00:48:45,041 --> 00:48:46,041
What to do?

1080
00:48:48,250 --> 00:48:49,250
What to do?

1081
00:48:50,291 --> 00:48:54,458
Ah! Just so you don't forget
about me and the boys here,

1082
00:48:54,541 --> 00:48:55,833
walk him down the aisle.

1083
00:48:55,916 --> 00:48:57,291
He's a family man, sir.

1084
00:48:57,375 --> 00:48:58,875
I said the aisle!

1085
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:02,250
The aisle? What's the aisle?
Like in a movie theater or a concert hall?

1086
00:49:02,333 --> 00:49:04,625
Oh, there's gonna be a concert. [laughs]

1087
00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:06,041
[dramatic music plays]

1088
00:49:06,125 --> 00:49:07,541
- [Bob grunts]
- [cow mooing]

1089
00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:11,208
[flies buzzing]

1090
00:49:11,291 --> 00:49:13,041
[dramatic music builds]

1091
00:49:14,208 --> 00:49:15,916
[cows farting]

1092
00:49:16,458 --> 00:49:17,833
[holds breath]

1093
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,000
[screaming]

1094
00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:22,892
- [Bob's wife] Bob?
- [shower running]

1095
00:49:22,916 --> 00:49:24,166
[Bob] One more minute.

1096
00:49:24,250 --> 00:49:26,875
Honey, you've been
in there for over an hour.

1097
00:49:26,958 --> 00:49:28,583
I'm sure you're clean.

1098
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,875
[Bob] But my mind!

1099
00:49:30,458 --> 00:49:32,875
How do I wash it out of my mind?

1100
00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,833
And how is my baby today?

1101
00:49:36,916 --> 00:49:39,041
Daddy brought breakfast, my yum-yum.

1102
00:49:40,458 --> 00:49:42,833
[suspicious music playing]

1103
00:49:42,916 --> 00:49:45,375
[dramatic music plays]

1104
00:49:45,458 --> 00:49:48,958
It's gone. What have you done with him,
you noodle-sucking garlic knot?

1105
00:49:49,041 --> 00:49:51,708
[in Italian]
I have traditional holiday cake.

1106
00:49:51,791 --> 00:49:53,125
- [faint tapping]
- [gasps]

1107
00:49:53,916 --> 00:49:54,750
He's in the walls.

1108
00:49:54,833 --> 00:49:56,041
[yells, gasps]

1109
00:49:56,125 --> 00:49:57,333
[pasta creature wailing]

1110
00:49:57,416 --> 00:49:58,416
Little one?

1111
00:49:59,250 --> 00:50:00,791
I have fishy food for you.

1112
00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:03,666
[in Italian] Fishy food for you!

1113
00:50:04,583 --> 00:50:05,583
Come and see.

1114
00:50:05,666 --> 00:50:07,625
[sobbing]

1115
00:50:10,333 --> 00:50:12,916
- I didn't know who else to call.
- You did the right thing.

1116
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,000
[gasps]

1117
00:50:15,125 --> 00:50:16,000
[Edsel] Oh.

1118
00:50:16,083 --> 00:50:18,541
- Hey, guys.
- What did they do to you?

1119
00:50:18,625 --> 00:50:20,583
They made me walk the aisle.

1120
00:50:20,666 --> 00:50:22,500
- Oh.
- Those lactose lowlifes.

1121
00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:24,750
Well, you're not the only one
to take a hit.

1122
00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:28,708
Our first payment to El Sucre was late,
and somehow he gave me diabetes.

1123
00:50:28,791 --> 00:50:29,833
[Stan] I'm sorry. What?

1124
00:50:29,916 --> 00:50:32,750
Oh yeah. I just came from the doctor.

1125
00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:35,625
Ugh! Look, nobody said
this was gonna be easy.

1126
00:50:35,708 --> 00:50:38,375
We had a day at NASA
where we lost Gus Grissom

1127
00:50:38,458 --> 00:50:40,791
and our best space monkey in one accident.

1128
00:50:41,333 --> 00:50:44,791
And their dental records
were so damn similar

1129
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:47,291
that it was gonna take weeks to sort out.

1130
00:50:47,375 --> 00:50:49,833
Are... are you telling us
there are monkey parts

1131
00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:53,208
mixed in with the remains
of Commander Gus Grissom?

1132
00:50:53,291 --> 00:50:55,833
- That's classified.
- [Edsel] But you just told us.

1133
00:50:55,916 --> 00:50:58,059
- [Stan] No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did. You were there...

1134
00:50:58,083 --> 00:50:59,583
- You said it. I...
- Enough.

1135
00:51:00,166 --> 00:51:02,666
Listen, guys, I'm out of the project.

1136
00:51:02,750 --> 00:51:05,958
- What?
- It's too much. It's gone too far.

1137
00:51:06,041 --> 00:51:09,666
And nobody cares about some stupid
heatable breakfast rectangle anyway.

1138
00:51:09,750 --> 00:51:12,125
[rumbling]

1139
00:51:13,208 --> 00:51:14,666
- Honey?
- What is going on?

1140
00:51:14,750 --> 00:51:16,041
[chopper blades whirring]

1141
00:51:16,958 --> 00:51:20,250
- Something's landing on the lawn.
- That's gonna ruin your yard.

1142
00:51:21,583 --> 00:51:22,833
[knocking on door]

1143
00:51:24,791 --> 00:51:26,416
- Are you guys Kellogg's?
- [Bob] Yes.

1144
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:30,041
Orders to bring you to the White House.
The president needs to see you. Let's go.

1145
00:51:30,125 --> 00:51:31,125
Go.

1146
00:51:33,083 --> 00:51:33,958
Can I change?

1147
00:51:34,041 --> 00:51:35,541
- There's no time.
- Ah!

1148
00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:37,625
[dramatic music playing]

1149
00:51:40,875 --> 00:51:41,750
[Bob's wife] Oh!

1150
00:51:41,833 --> 00:51:43,666
[Bob] For the love of God!

1151
00:51:44,166 --> 00:51:45,625
[dramatic music continues]

1152
00:51:48,250 --> 00:51:49,375
[music ends]

1153
00:51:49,458 --> 00:51:53,250
You know, I had political ambitions,
but my mom said I wasn't likable.

1154
00:51:53,333 --> 00:51:56,166
- Your mom sounds like a great lady.
- The best.

1155
00:51:56,916 --> 00:51:58,500
What the hell are you wearing?

1156
00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:00,833
It was all they had for me. It was Taft's.

1157
00:52:00,916 --> 00:52:03,541
William Howard Taft,
first 300-pound president.

1158
00:52:03,625 --> 00:52:06,333
There's a half-eaten Baby Ruth
in the pocket.

1159
00:52:06,416 --> 00:52:08,291
Well, chew it slowly. That's history.

1160
00:52:09,750 --> 00:52:10,625
[door closes]

1161
00:52:10,708 --> 00:52:14,833
- It's good to see you Kellogg's boys.
- I... Never mind.

1162
00:52:14,916 --> 00:52:18,458
Have you fellas ever considered
calling a cereal Jackie O's?

1163
00:52:18,541 --> 00:52:20,916
Just a pitch,
but I think she'd get a kick out of it.

1164
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,125
Thank you, sir. We'll certainly
take a good hard look at that.

1165
00:52:24,208 --> 00:52:27,875
Yeah, I'm kind of in the doghouse since
you-know-who sang "Happy Birthday" to me.

1166
00:52:27,958 --> 00:52:30,166
Anyway, we have been informed

1167
00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:33,708
that those hacks over at Post
are now working with the goddamn Ruskies.

1168
00:52:33,791 --> 00:52:35,625
Well, why would they do that?

1169
00:52:35,708 --> 00:52:39,166
Well, obviously because you nitwits
cut off their sugar supply.

1170
00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:42,583
Now Khrushchev is trying to help them
get it through Communist Cuba.

1171
00:52:42,666 --> 00:52:44,083
Whole damn island is sugarcane.

1172
00:52:44,166 --> 00:52:47,333
The idea of our American children
waking up in the morning

1173
00:52:47,416 --> 00:52:50,125
to a commie breakfast pastry
really burns my britches.

1174
00:52:50,208 --> 00:52:53,750
They were already burning due to the
aforementioned blonde in the sequin dress.

1175
00:52:53,833 --> 00:52:56,500
You have to win.
Are you making any progress?

1176
00:52:56,583 --> 00:52:59,041
- Progress? Show him, Stan.
- Okay.

1177
00:52:59,125 --> 00:53:01,041
[paper rustling]

1178
00:53:01,125 --> 00:53:02,500
It's not to scale, but...

1179
00:53:03,166 --> 00:53:05,291
Astonishing.
What are you guys, five years old?

1180
00:53:05,875 --> 00:53:09,500
Little John-John draws better than that.
And I think something's wrong with him.

1181
00:53:09,583 --> 00:53:13,666
Mr. President, to be perfectly honest,
we could really use some help.

1182
00:53:13,750 --> 00:53:15,000
Let me get this straight.

1183
00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:18,625
- Did you ask me what <i>I</i> could do for you?
- Well...

1184
00:53:18,708 --> 00:53:21,708
Because I thought I made it
perfectly clear in my inaugural address...

1185
00:53:21,791 --> 00:53:23,166
- You did.
- Great speech.

1186
00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:27,375
"Ask not." What could be clearer?
It's two words. It means don't ask.

1187
00:53:27,458 --> 00:53:30,791
So, not asking, but how about a story?

1188
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:32,583
Once upon a time,

1189
00:53:32,666 --> 00:53:35,750
there was a really nice cereal company

1190
00:53:35,833 --> 00:53:38,750
that had a problem with organized milk.

1191
00:53:38,833 --> 00:53:41,375
Okay, I get it.
I will instruct my brother Bobby

1192
00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:43,375
to tighten the screws
on those cow huggers.

1193
00:53:43,458 --> 00:53:44,750
But not because you asked.

1194
00:53:44,833 --> 00:53:48,625
We won't let you down, Mr. President.
We're gonna do for you like you said.

1195
00:53:49,208 --> 00:53:50,328
- Oy vey.
- [intercom buzzes]

1196
00:53:50,375 --> 00:53:52,541
[secretary] <i>Sir,
your next appointment is here.</i>

1197
00:53:53,250 --> 00:53:55,290
- Uh, who is it?
- [secretary] <i>The Doublemint Twins.</i>

1198
00:53:57,958 --> 00:54:00,250
- In the, uh, outfits?
- Ew.

1199
00:54:00,333 --> 00:54:02,791
[secretary] <i>Yes, Mr. President.
They are in the outfits.</i>

1200
00:54:02,875 --> 00:54:06,708
Gentlemen, if you will excuse me,
it's time for an, uh, executive privilege.

1201
00:54:08,375 --> 00:54:10,625
- May I keep this?
- Ask not.

1202
00:54:11,250 --> 00:54:12,250
Right.

1203
00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:15,333
I assume Jackie's still out buying hats?

1204
00:54:15,416 --> 00:54:19,041
["I'll Be Around"
by Johnny Copeland playing]

1205
00:54:19,125 --> 00:54:20,666
I tried to raise them up.

1206
00:54:21,583 --> 00:54:22,791
I brought them <i>Lear.</i>

1207
00:54:23,708 --> 00:54:27,875
- And they shooed me out, like a fowl wind.
- Well, it doesn't bother me.

1208
00:54:27,958 --> 00:54:31,375
Trouble keeps me in business.
I love other people's anguish.

1209
00:54:31,958 --> 00:54:34,958
Shame. I had tickets for opening night.

1210
00:54:37,083 --> 00:54:40,583
- I'm sorry?
- I saw your <i>12 Angry Men</i> one-man show.

1211
00:54:40,666 --> 00:54:45,166
Oh yes? I felt I never really captured
the anger of men six through nine.

1212
00:54:45,250 --> 00:54:46,666
Profound nonetheless.

1213
00:54:47,875 --> 00:54:48,875
May I?

1214
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:52,791
- Mike Diamond. Friendly Farms.
- Thurl Ethan Ravenscroft.

1215
00:54:52,875 --> 00:54:56,000
Those, uh, tickets
are nonrefundable, by the way.

1216
00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:59,916
Uncouth Kellogg's vulgarians.
Personally, I think their product line

1217
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,291
goes nowhere
without those talented mascots.

1218
00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:03,916
Whoever they are.

1219
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,000
[laughs]

1220
00:55:05,083 --> 00:55:06,283
Yeah, they're all pretty good.

1221
00:55:06,333 --> 00:55:10,208
But Tony the Tiger,
he's the rudder on that ship.

1222
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,916
Pathetic sugar shills.

1223
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:15,208
Pathetic, I suppose,

1224
00:55:15,291 --> 00:55:18,375
if 14 straight quarters
of record profits is pathetic.

1225
00:55:18,458 --> 00:55:23,208
Those mascot buffoons won't be getting
their four-finger mitts on any of that.

1226
00:55:23,291 --> 00:55:25,208
Well, now, that would be tragic,

1227
00:55:25,291 --> 00:55:27,416
especially with the kind
of leverage they have.

1228
00:55:27,500 --> 00:55:30,333
None of my business, but I don't think
it'd take much for those mascots

1229
00:55:30,416 --> 00:55:33,416
to show old man Kellogg who's milking who.

1230
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Really?

1231
00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:38,333
You think we could... They could?

1232
00:55:38,416 --> 00:55:42,541
As we milkmen say, "A little cup
of buttermilk with the proper churning

1233
00:55:43,250 --> 00:55:44,916
can become a mighty cheese."

1234
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:46,166
Is that a fart joke?

1235
00:55:47,333 --> 00:55:48,375
I don't think so.

1236
00:55:49,208 --> 00:55:50,208
Anyway,

1237
00:55:51,666 --> 00:55:52,708
never forget,

1238
00:55:53,708 --> 00:55:54,791
you're great.

1239
00:55:56,250 --> 00:55:58,250
[brooding music playing]

1240
00:56:01,541 --> 00:56:02,791
[news theme music playing]

1241
00:56:02,875 --> 00:56:06,666
Breakfast wars ratcheted up today
as cereal superpower Kellogg's announced

1242
00:56:06,750 --> 00:56:10,291
they too are developing
some sort of toastable whoosie-whatsis.

1243
00:56:10,375 --> 00:56:14,458
Coming up, tensions rise between the US
and Soviets off the coast of Cuba.

1244
00:56:14,541 --> 00:56:17,083
Bobby Kennedy cracks down
on organized milk.

1245
00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:21,208
And the Doublemint Twins
are pregnant with twins of their own,

1246
00:56:21,291 --> 00:56:23,375
as the CBS Evening News continues.

1247
00:56:23,458 --> 00:56:25,750
- [news closing theme plays]
- [director] And we're clear.

1248
00:56:25,833 --> 00:56:28,875
This is a real breakthrough, Corky.
X-ray specs.

1249
00:56:28,958 --> 00:56:30,708
You can see into anything.

1250
00:56:32,250 --> 00:56:33,875
Except my personal drama.

1251
00:56:34,916 --> 00:56:36,416
A lot of tension at home.

1252
00:56:37,666 --> 00:56:39,000
- A lot of tension.
- [sighs]

1253
00:56:39,083 --> 00:56:41,291
Gonna be staying late tonight, Corky.

1254
00:56:43,583 --> 00:56:45,583
{\an8}[dramatic music playing]

1255
00:56:51,333 --> 00:56:52,333
[mic feedback]

1256
00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,541
[music crescendoes]

1257
00:56:58,625 --> 00:57:01,166
- I like these. I have astigmatism.
- What is that?

1258
00:57:01,250 --> 00:57:04,833
Well, it's a mismatch
of the focusing elements in the eye.

1259
00:57:04,916 --> 00:57:07,291
- Oh. Because...
- Lots of people have it and don't realize.

1260
00:57:07,375 --> 00:57:09,625
- Really?
- Look through the binoculars.

1261
00:57:09,708 --> 00:57:11,916
- Does it seem clearer?
- No, but it's closer.

1262
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,208
Fellas!

1263
00:57:13,291 --> 00:57:14,208
[exasperated sigh]

1264
00:57:14,291 --> 00:57:17,041
Fruit pastry launch system is go.

1265
00:57:17,125 --> 00:57:19,125
[epic music playing]

1266
00:57:21,250 --> 00:57:23,750
[breathing loudly]

1267
00:57:23,833 --> 00:57:26,083
Isn't this overkill?
Bunkers and space suits?

1268
00:57:26,166 --> 00:57:27,833
All standard NASA protocol.

1269
00:57:27,916 --> 00:57:31,208
Plus we're using titanium foil packets
for the product, just to be safe.

1270
00:57:31,291 --> 00:57:33,500
Steve Schwinn, you are a go
for two in the toaster.

1271
00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:34,958
Two in the toaster.

1272
00:57:35,041 --> 00:57:37,250
[epic music continues]

1273
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:43,750
[Steve breathing heavily]

1274
00:57:43,833 --> 00:57:45,541
Depress mechanism.

1275
00:57:45,625 --> 00:57:47,166
[Steve] Dingus down.

1276
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,291
- [exhales]
- [man] Monitor coils.

1277
00:57:49,375 --> 00:57:51,041
[coils buzzing]

1278
00:57:51,625 --> 00:57:53,708
- Orange.
- What's happening now?

1279
00:57:53,791 --> 00:57:55,708
- It's toasting, sir.
- Come on.

1280
00:57:55,791 --> 00:57:58,666
I'm switching to manual.
Gonna open her up a little.

1281
00:57:58,750 --> 00:58:00,000
- What's he doing?
- Not safe.

1282
00:58:01,166 --> 00:58:02,166
What's he doing?

1283
00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:03,916
He's changing the settings.

1284
00:58:05,166 --> 00:58:06,166
He's at five.

1285
00:58:06,625 --> 00:58:08,083
Six. Seven.

1286
00:58:08,166 --> 00:58:11,125
- I don't like this.
- [Stan] He's at eight. God, 8.5

1287
00:58:11,208 --> 00:58:13,125
Schwinn, lightly brown, lightly brown.

1288
00:58:13,208 --> 00:58:14,916
- [toaster dings]
- [gasps]

1289
00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:16,541
[Bob exhales sharply]

1290
00:58:16,625 --> 00:58:19,333
Proceed with caution.
Fruit filling may be hot.

1291
00:58:19,875 --> 00:58:21,875
[suspenseful music playing]

1292
00:58:28,458 --> 00:58:29,458
[breathes nervously]

1293
00:58:31,416 --> 00:58:33,500
Well, pop a wheelie.

1294
00:58:33,583 --> 00:58:35,083
We've got a treat!

1295
00:58:35,166 --> 00:58:36,291
- We did it!
- There we go!

1296
00:58:36,375 --> 00:58:38,083
- [laughing]
- Whoo!

1297
00:58:39,250 --> 00:58:41,041
- [oxygen hissing]
- [Steve] Oh!

1298
00:58:41,125 --> 00:58:42,333
Oh! Oh!

1299
00:58:42,416 --> 00:58:44,375
No! [yelps]

1300
00:58:44,458 --> 00:58:45,500
Please, no!

1301
00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:48,625
[whimpering]

1302
00:58:48,708 --> 00:58:50,500
- [exploding]
- [all scream]

1303
00:58:54,791 --> 00:58:56,791
[dramatic music playing]

1304
00:59:08,708 --> 00:59:09,708
[music ends]

1305
00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:13,166
- There's nothing left!
- Wait, over there. What's that?

1306
00:59:13,250 --> 00:59:15,250
[triumphant music playing]

1307
00:59:17,083 --> 00:59:18,083
Is that a man?

1308
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:20,833
Damn right it is.
It's Steve Schwinn. Steve!

1309
00:59:20,916 --> 00:59:22,625
No. It's me, Chuck.

1310
00:59:22,708 --> 00:59:23,541
Steve blew up.

1311
00:59:23,625 --> 00:59:24,625
[both groan]

1312
00:59:24,708 --> 00:59:26,333
Don't go over there. It's gross.

1313
00:59:26,875 --> 00:59:29,041
What's happening? Where's Steve?

1314
00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:32,708
Steve was vaporized,
but we had a funny mix-up with Chuck.

1315
00:59:32,791 --> 00:59:34,958
[bagpipes playing]

1316
00:59:41,750 --> 00:59:44,833
Grain to grain, cows to milk.

1317
00:59:45,375 --> 00:59:47,958
Some settling in life is to be expected.

1318
00:59:48,041 --> 00:59:50,833
Steve Schwinn, however, never settled.

1319
00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:54,291
[Thurl] Steve was gr-r-reat!

1320
00:59:54,375 --> 00:59:55,541
- He'd like that.
- Yeah.

1321
00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:58,708
He lived his life
like he built his bicycles,

1322
00:59:58,791 --> 01:00:00,458
with little regard for safety.

1323
01:00:00,541 --> 01:00:01,375
[Edsel] Mmm.

1324
01:00:01,458 --> 01:00:05,458
When a man gives the last
full-serving suggestion of himself,

1325
01:00:05,541 --> 01:00:11,458
only then is he truly deserving
to be buried with full cereal honors.

1326
01:00:11,541 --> 01:00:13,541
[people murmuring]

1327
01:00:18,208 --> 01:00:21,250
- Full cereal honors, Mrs. Schwinn.
- That's quite an honor.

1328
01:00:21,333 --> 01:00:23,583
- It's a great honor.
- What is happening?

1329
01:00:23,666 --> 01:00:24,666
[squeaking]

1330
01:00:32,625 --> 01:00:33,708
Did you plan this?

1331
01:00:33,791 --> 01:00:34,791
I don't know.

1332
01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:43,583
- [sighs]
<i>- ♪ Ave Maria ♪</i>

1333
01:00:47,416 --> 01:00:54,375
<i>♪ Gratia plena ♪</i>

1334
01:00:54,458 --> 01:01:01,375
<i>♪ Maria, gratia plena ♪</i>

1335
01:01:01,458 --> 01:01:04,708
<i>♪ Maria, gratia... ♪</i>

1336
01:01:04,791 --> 01:01:06,041
Last bowl, huh?

1337
01:01:06,125 --> 01:01:08,625
<i>♪...plena ♪</i>

1338
01:01:08,708 --> 01:01:10,916
<i>♪ Ave ♪</i>

1339
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:16,625
<i>- ♪ Ave dominus ♪</i>
- [sobbing]

1340
01:01:16,708 --> 01:01:18,166
Why?! [sobbing]

1341
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:19,458
Who... who was she?

1342
01:01:25,166 --> 01:01:26,291
[clears throat]

1343
01:01:26,375 --> 01:01:27,666
- Snap!
- Crackle!

1344
01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:29,416
- Pop!
- Snap!

1345
01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:30,916
- Crackle!
- Pop!

1346
01:01:32,416 --> 01:01:33,458
What is this?

1347
01:01:33,541 --> 01:01:35,916
It's the prize inside, Mrs. Schwinn.

1348
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,041
It's probably one
of those stick-on tattoos.

1349
01:01:38,125 --> 01:01:39,885
It's not permanent.
Just lasts a couple days.

1350
01:01:39,916 --> 01:01:41,041
- Snap!
- [gasps]

1351
01:01:41,125 --> 01:01:42,583
- Crackle!
- Pop!

1352
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,791
You know, your husband died a hero.

1353
01:01:45,875 --> 01:01:48,666
Isn't this a cereal company?
Why did my husband explode?

1354
01:01:49,708 --> 01:01:50,833
Get me out of here.

1355
01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:53,083
- She's upset.
- She'll get over it.

1356
01:01:53,166 --> 01:01:55,791
Or she may never ever recover
from the loss.

1357
01:01:55,875 --> 01:01:57,625
- [Bob] Hmm.
- Look, there.

1358
01:01:57,708 --> 01:02:00,916
[Bob] The milkmen, Russians,
and the Sucre boys.

1359
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,541
The noose is tightening.

1360
01:02:02,625 --> 01:02:04,833
Speaking of tightening,
is that the Taft candy suit?

1361
01:02:04,916 --> 01:02:07,396
- I took it in. What do you think?
- You're looking for a veto.

1362
01:02:07,458 --> 01:02:08,625
- Do it.
- Veto.

1363
01:02:09,375 --> 01:02:10,375
Fair.

1364
01:02:10,958 --> 01:02:12,250
Mascots, gather.

1365
01:02:13,083 --> 01:02:16,833
We have chafed under the yoke
of Kellogg's exploitation for too long.

1366
01:02:16,916 --> 01:02:19,958
I hear their new space rectangle
doesn't even have a mascot.

1367
01:02:20,041 --> 01:02:22,833
- They're phasing us out.
- Indeed they are, good Crackle.

1368
01:02:22,916 --> 01:02:26,000
And they never cut us in. I ask you this.

1369
01:02:26,083 --> 01:02:27,416
Without our faces,

1370
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:31,000
without our magic, what have you left?

1371
01:02:31,083 --> 01:02:34,125
A cheap bag of horse feed
that we bring to life.

1372
01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:37,750
I say we cry havoc
and let slip the dogs of war.

1373
01:02:37,833 --> 01:02:39,291
Are we getting dogs?

1374
01:02:40,375 --> 01:02:41,916
No, no, simple Snap.

1375
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:46,500
The time has come for us to go on strike.

1376
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,750
[all] Oh.

1377
01:02:49,833 --> 01:02:52,250
But if we have a dog, should we bring it?

1378
01:02:52,875 --> 01:02:54,625
[groovy song playing]

1379
01:02:54,708 --> 01:02:56,041
You know there's a back seat.

1380
01:02:56,125 --> 01:02:58,625
There's nothing back there.
This is where the action is.

1381
01:03:00,541 --> 01:03:01,833
[crowd clamoring]

1382
01:03:01,916 --> 01:03:03,625
Hey, what's going on over there?

1383
01:03:04,583 --> 01:03:05,916
- Pull over.
- Oh, oh, oh.

1384
01:03:07,583 --> 01:03:08,791
[song ends]

1385
01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:13,875
[JFK on TV] <i>A Russian
military ship has been intercepted</i>

1386
01:03:13,958 --> 01:03:16,041
<i>off the coast of the United States.</i>

1387
01:03:16,125 --> 01:03:20,416
<i>We believe it's illegal Cuban sugar
meant to destabilize a balanced breakfast.</i>

1388
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:22,541
- I tell you, the wife's a knockout.
- Yeah.

1389
01:03:22,625 --> 01:03:24,750
I got the boys working
on the Jackie O thing.

1390
01:03:24,833 --> 01:03:26,833
Her last name's Kennedy. What's that mean?

1391
01:03:26,916 --> 01:03:29,041
No, the shape of the cereal is an O.

1392
01:03:29,125 --> 01:03:30,791
Cheerios, Oreos, Jackie O's.

1393
01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:31,791
[shushing]

1394
01:03:31,875 --> 01:03:34,125
He's talking about nuclear war,
you idiots.

1395
01:03:34,791 --> 01:03:38,333
[JFK] <i>These spy photos clearly show
some giant nuclear missiles.</i>

1396
01:03:38,416 --> 01:03:39,875
<i>We're not too worried about that.</i>

1397
01:03:39,958 --> 01:03:42,833
<i>But if these ships
aren't immediately turned back,</i>

1398
01:03:42,916 --> 01:03:44,583
<i>I may go ballistic.</i>

1399
01:03:44,666 --> 01:03:47,333
<i>Not necessarily nuclear missile ballistic.</i>

1400
01:03:47,416 --> 01:03:51,500
<i>It's more about how upset I am.
There's two kinds of ballistic.</i>

1401
01:03:51,583 --> 01:03:53,500
<i>There's emotional ballistic,</i>

1402
01:03:53,583 --> 01:03:56,250
<i>and then there's
"everyone dies" ballistic.</i>

1403
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:57,416
[crowd gasps]

1404
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:59,875
- All right. That's it.
- Where you going?

1405
01:04:00,666 --> 01:04:02,291
This ends now.

1406
01:04:02,375 --> 01:04:04,125
[JFK] <i>I know my way around a boat.</i>

1407
01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:07,458
<i>I was sickly as a child,
so they got me a dinghy.</i>

1408
01:04:07,541 --> 01:04:09,708
[smooth jazz music playing]

1409
01:04:18,208 --> 01:04:19,791
How did it get this far?

1410
01:04:19,875 --> 01:04:21,875
It's breakfast. Things happen.

1411
01:04:23,458 --> 01:04:26,583
- You know, we built that city right there.
- Inherited.

1412
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:28,291
Inherited.

1413
01:04:28,375 --> 01:04:30,833
And our bickering threatens to destroy it.

1414
01:04:32,291 --> 01:04:34,375
I've decided to release your sugar.

1415
01:04:36,166 --> 01:04:38,375
I'll tell Khrushchev
not to blow up America.

1416
01:04:39,041 --> 01:04:40,375
Will he listen to you?

1417
01:04:40,875 --> 01:04:44,041
Maybe, if I offer him
something valuable in return.

1418
01:04:44,666 --> 01:04:46,916
Would William Howard Taft's
candy suit work?

1419
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,333
I don't know what that is,
but I'll give it a whirl.

1420
01:04:50,250 --> 01:04:51,333
Give this a whirl.

1421
01:04:51,416 --> 01:04:54,166
["Let's Twist Again"
by Chubby Checker playing]

1422
01:04:54,250 --> 01:04:55,583
<i>♪ Come on, everybody ♪</i>

1423
01:04:55,666 --> 01:04:57,000
What do you think?

1424
01:04:57,083 --> 01:04:58,875
<i>♪ Ah, you're looking good... ♪</i>

1425
01:04:59,416 --> 01:05:00,416
It's feral.

1426
01:05:01,416 --> 01:05:02,666
It's vulgar.

1427
01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:04,333
<i>♪ We're gonna do the twist... ♪</i>

1428
01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,416
I like it.

1429
01:05:06,041 --> 01:05:08,000
<i>♪ Come on, let's twist again... ♪</i>

1430
01:05:08,083 --> 01:05:11,333
- Maybe we built these cereal companies...
- Inherited.

1431
01:05:11,416 --> 01:05:14,500
...inherited these two
giant cereal companies

1432
01:05:14,583 --> 01:05:16,291
to get each other's attention.

1433
01:05:16,375 --> 01:05:17,541
Maybe we did.

1434
01:05:17,625 --> 01:05:19,166
<i>♪ Do you remember when things... ♪</i>

1435
01:05:19,250 --> 01:05:20,625
What are you afraid of?

1436
01:05:21,125 --> 01:05:22,000
I'm not afraid.

1437
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:23,833
- [screams] What is that?
- [gasps] What?

1438
01:05:23,916 --> 01:05:25,083
- [chittering]
- [Edsel] Oh!

1439
01:05:25,166 --> 01:05:29,333
That's just some new form of life we made
by accident that we're trying to catch

1440
01:05:29,416 --> 01:05:30,666
so it doesn't reproduce.

1441
01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:32,708
- You made that? Where did it go?
- Eh...

1442
01:05:32,791 --> 01:05:34,375
Anyway, where were we?

1443
01:05:34,458 --> 01:05:35,500
Um...

1444
01:05:36,791 --> 01:05:38,458
Kind of in a weird mood now.

1445
01:05:38,958 --> 01:05:39,958
Wh...

1446
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:41,375
- [sighs]
- [door closes]

1447
01:05:41,458 --> 01:05:42,916
[whimpers in disappointment]

1448
01:05:43,583 --> 01:05:47,375
[mascots chanting] Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey!
Edsel K has got to pay!

1449
01:05:47,458 --> 01:05:49,375
- What do we want?
- [crowd] Dignity!

1450
01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:51,416
- When do we want it?
- [crowd] Soon!

1451
01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:52,500
[Thurl] What do we want?

1452
01:05:52,541 --> 01:05:55,208
Time to give those
trench-footed fur balls a poodle cut.

1453
01:05:55,291 --> 01:05:57,708
[mascots] There is no lab,
there was no lab!

1454
01:05:57,791 --> 01:05:59,333
Now we know, and that is bad!

1455
01:05:59,416 --> 01:06:02,791
Never mind that. Whoever gets to
the shelves first is gonna win this thing.

1456
01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:04,500
All we need is a name.

1457
01:06:04,583 --> 01:06:08,333
Don't worry. I got a couple of
can't-miss Madison Avenue ad men coming.

1458
01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:10,166
[Thurl] What do we want?

1459
01:06:10,250 --> 01:06:11,250
[music fades]

1460
01:06:11,791 --> 01:06:12,791
[ad man] Kellogg's.

1461
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:16,208
{\an8}When you hear it, it's more than a name.

1462
01:06:16,291 --> 01:06:19,291
It's the warm embrace of home, of family.

1463
01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:23,250
And where does that family begin?
It begins with two beating hearts.

1464
01:06:23,333 --> 01:06:25,291
- [Edsel] Mmm.
- Like two pastries,

1465
01:06:25,375 --> 01:06:29,416
alone in the dark,
sharing a single foil wrapper.

1466
01:06:31,125 --> 01:06:32,625
Imagine a husband home from work.

1467
01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:35,458
His wife greets him at the door
wearing a satin négligée,

1468
01:06:35,541 --> 01:06:37,125
leads him to the bedroom

1469
01:06:37,208 --> 01:06:39,666
with one flick of a red polished nail...

1470
01:06:41,416 --> 01:06:44,000
she ignites the coiled heat
from a nearby toaster,

1471
01:06:44,083 --> 01:06:48,166
which is also eager
to receive his now warm pastries.

1472
01:06:48,250 --> 01:06:49,416
[clears throat]

1473
01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:51,416
[ad man] Gentlemen, I give you

1474
01:06:51,916 --> 01:06:54,750
- the Jelle Jolie by Martine Margeaux.
- [sensual music plays]

1475
01:06:54,833 --> 01:06:58,541
Uh, you know
we're a kids' cereal company, right?

1476
01:06:58,625 --> 01:06:59,958
If that's all you wanna be.

1477
01:07:00,041 --> 01:07:02,416
I've been in your town for six hours.
You know what I see?

1478
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,750
Dead trees and sad, lonely women.

1479
01:07:04,833 --> 01:07:06,625
I mean, the choice is yours.

1480
01:07:06,708 --> 01:07:08,250
Raisin Bran and irrelevant

1481
01:07:08,875 --> 01:07:11,000
or provocative and revolutionary.

1482
01:07:11,083 --> 01:07:12,791
Who notices dead trees?

1483
01:07:12,875 --> 01:07:14,291
Shut up, Herman.

1484
01:07:14,375 --> 01:07:15,541
Genius at work.

1485
01:07:15,625 --> 01:07:20,541
Also available with a naughty hint
of <i>chocolat,</i> Jelle Jolie Noir.

1486
01:07:20,625 --> 01:07:24,583
And, coming soon, Jelle Jolie Sensual.

1487
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:27,166
With no packet at all, for those who dare.

1488
01:07:27,958 --> 01:07:29,875
Because his pleasure is also hers.

1489
01:07:29,958 --> 01:07:32,083
- That's not actually true.
- Why not?

1490
01:07:33,666 --> 01:07:38,000
So are we celebrating? Carve up some of
that Midwestern beef you're so famous for?

1491
01:07:38,083 --> 01:07:40,500
Maybe lasso ourselves
some thick-ankled Jelle Jolie

1492
01:07:40,583 --> 01:07:42,708
of our own in this dust bucket of a town?

1493
01:07:42,791 --> 01:07:44,125
Can... Can we think about it?

1494
01:07:44,208 --> 01:07:47,166
I'd say yes, but I don't think
thinking is your strong suit.

1495
01:07:47,250 --> 01:07:51,583
Tell you what, I'll be retired on a bluff
overlooking Stinson Beach

1496
01:07:51,666 --> 01:07:54,708
while you're still genuflecting
before the god of mediocrity.

1497
01:07:54,791 --> 01:07:57,041
- Roger.
- Glad I left the car running.

1498
01:07:58,375 --> 01:08:00,791
Why are they so mean?
It's just advertising.

1499
01:08:00,875 --> 01:08:02,916
- [Edsel] I don't know.
- [Bob] I don't get it.

1500
01:08:03,625 --> 01:08:04,541
What'd you just say?

1501
01:08:04,625 --> 01:08:06,291
- [tense music playing]
- Uh...

1502
01:08:06,375 --> 01:08:10,458
You will never swim the English Channel
and then drown in champagne.

1503
01:08:10,541 --> 01:08:12,416
No, I wo... I won't.

1504
01:08:12,500 --> 01:08:14,125
[music intensifies, ends]

1505
01:08:14,208 --> 01:08:16,583
So, where the hell is this Swinson Lake?

1506
01:08:16,666 --> 01:08:18,625
[seductive music playing]

1507
01:08:18,708 --> 01:08:19,916
What'd you just say?

1508
01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:21,750
I think you heard me.

1509
01:08:22,500 --> 01:08:25,041
- Why don't you come work for me?
- Forget it, Florsheim.

1510
01:08:25,125 --> 01:08:26,708
I don't come when I'm called.

1511
01:08:26,791 --> 01:08:27,791
Oh.

1512
01:08:28,333 --> 01:08:29,541
I'll be calling you.

1513
01:08:30,041 --> 01:08:31,041
[gasps]

1514
01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:34,375
- From a pay phone.
- I'll lend you the dime.

1515
01:08:35,791 --> 01:08:37,125
- [ad man] Hmm.
- [Stan] Hmm.

1516
01:08:39,666 --> 01:08:40,666
[inhales deeply]

1517
01:08:40,708 --> 01:08:41,541
Good meeting.

1518
01:08:41,625 --> 01:08:44,458
Now who are we gonna get
to help us sell this thing?

1519
01:08:44,541 --> 01:08:46,291
I might know a couple guys.

1520
01:08:46,375 --> 01:08:47,583
And they're local.

1521
01:08:47,666 --> 01:08:50,333
[Stan] First I think we just wanna
thank you for your time today.

1522
01:08:50,416 --> 01:08:52,958
You're the experts.
But, uh, well, let's get started.

1523
01:08:53,041 --> 01:08:54,750
"Fruit-Magoos." What?

1524
01:08:54,833 --> 01:08:55,833
No.

1525
01:08:55,875 --> 01:08:57,875
- "Heat 'Em Up and Eat 'Em Ups."
- No sale.

1526
01:08:57,958 --> 01:09:00,541
- "Oblong Nibblers." Mmm.
- Tough room.

1527
01:09:00,625 --> 01:09:04,000
- Look, the name is the game, people.
- If we like the name, we'll eat it.

1528
01:09:04,083 --> 01:09:06,125
Do you know if Post has a name for theirs?

1529
01:09:06,208 --> 01:09:09,125
I believe they were going
back and forth between Fresh Flatties

1530
01:09:09,208 --> 01:09:10,458
and Dextrose Dillies.

1531
01:09:10,541 --> 01:09:12,291
- Oh man.
- Mmm, those are both strong.

1532
01:09:12,375 --> 01:09:13,458
[Stan] Give me a minute.

1533
01:09:13,541 --> 01:09:14,916
Hi there. How you doing?

1534
01:09:15,791 --> 01:09:18,708
How about you tell us
what those tasted like?

1535
01:09:18,791 --> 01:09:20,750
The jelly, was it firm?

1536
01:09:20,833 --> 01:09:21,833
Was it oozy?

1537
01:09:22,208 --> 01:09:24,708
Did it coagulate?
[snapping fingers] Come on.

1538
01:09:25,291 --> 01:09:26,333
I'm keeping this.

1539
01:09:27,375 --> 01:09:29,000
I know how to talk to kids.

1540
01:09:29,083 --> 01:09:30,958
[dramatic music playing]

1541
01:09:31,041 --> 01:09:34,750
We need to know the damn pectin content,
or I'll murder your family, your friends!

1542
01:09:34,833 --> 01:09:36,958
- Take it easy.
- I'll drown your grandmother!

1543
01:09:37,041 --> 01:09:39,041
Why are you yelling like my dad?

1544
01:09:39,875 --> 01:09:41,083
[Edsel] I wasn't yelling.

1545
01:09:41,625 --> 01:09:42,666
You're right. I was.

1546
01:09:42,750 --> 01:09:44,166
- It was him.
- [Stan] My God!

1547
01:09:44,250 --> 01:09:45,833
[Cathy] You wanna know the truth?

1548
01:09:45,916 --> 01:09:47,875
I took one bite,

1549
01:09:47,958 --> 01:09:51,041
and it blew the back of my head right off.

1550
01:09:51,125 --> 01:09:54,958
It was the most delicious piece of pastry
I've ever had, and I've had them all.

1551
01:09:55,041 --> 01:09:57,125
Well, you never had ours.

1552
01:09:57,625 --> 01:09:58,625
Give it to her.

1553
01:09:58,708 --> 01:10:00,708
[intriguing music playing]

1554
01:10:04,833 --> 01:10:05,833
Try that.

1555
01:10:06,250 --> 01:10:08,250
[music continues]

1556
01:10:16,791 --> 01:10:17,875
Is this a joke?

1557
01:10:17,958 --> 01:10:18,958
What?

1558
01:10:19,041 --> 01:10:21,583
This tastes like their thing.
You guys made the same thing.

1559
01:10:21,666 --> 01:10:24,541
Everybody makes the same thing.
Coke and Pepsi. Ford and Chevy.

1560
01:10:25,125 --> 01:10:27,333
- The important thing is the name.
- The name.

1561
01:10:27,416 --> 01:10:29,476
- [Butchie screaming]
- The butt machine got Butchie!

1562
01:10:29,500 --> 01:10:30,333
Ah!

1563
01:10:30,416 --> 01:10:31,666
[screaming]

1564
01:10:31,750 --> 01:10:33,000
My Rump Master!

1565
01:10:33,625 --> 01:10:35,250
[dramatic music playing]

1566
01:10:35,333 --> 01:10:36,693
- [beads clattering]
- [body thuds]

1567
01:10:38,500 --> 01:10:41,500
How many, Mr. Cabana?
How many more have to die?

1568
01:10:42,166 --> 01:10:44,875
- Get your hands off me.
- Butchie, are you okay?

1569
01:10:44,958 --> 01:10:47,458
He's fine.
Now, what are we gonna call this thing?

1570
01:10:47,541 --> 01:10:51,541
[magical music playing]

1571
01:10:51,625 --> 01:10:53,875
You've got your name right there.

1572
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:56,625
The first letter of each word.

1573
01:10:56,708 --> 01:10:58,916
"Toaster Ready Anytime Treat."

1574
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,000
"Put On Plate."

1575
01:11:00,666 --> 01:11:02,083
"Trat Pop."

1576
01:11:02,166 --> 01:11:04,375
Trat Pop. I... I kinda like it.

1577
01:11:04,458 --> 01:11:05,958
Now, <i>that's</i> cool.

1578
01:11:06,041 --> 01:11:08,541
It's a secret code name, like UFO or NASA.

1579
01:11:08,625 --> 01:11:10,750
Or bra, booby restraining apparatus.

1580
01:11:10,833 --> 01:11:14,375
- That is not what it means.
- I have reason to believe otherwise.

1581
01:11:14,458 --> 01:11:15,458
So do I.

1582
01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:17,250
What?

1583
01:11:18,500 --> 01:11:19,583
Trat Pop.

1584
01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:21,916
Let's see how it plays.

1585
01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:24,125
<i>♪ Kellogg's Trat Pop ♪</i>

1586
01:11:24,708 --> 01:11:27,083
<i>♪ Yummy in the morning
Yummy at noon ♪</i>

1587
01:11:27,166 --> 01:11:29,125
<i>♪ Yummy in the evening
And under the moon ♪</i>

1588
01:11:29,208 --> 01:11:31,416
<i>♪ Kellogg's Trat Pop ♪</i>

1589
01:11:31,500 --> 01:11:34,833
<i>♪ Toaster treat
Ready anytime you like to eat ♪</i>

1590
01:11:34,916 --> 01:11:38,125
<i>♪ Put on plate
Your tummy's gonna celebrate ♪</i>

1591
01:11:38,208 --> 01:11:41,416
<i>♪ Yummy, yummy, Kellogg's Trat Pop ♪</i>

1592
01:11:41,500 --> 01:11:42,500
[whirring]

1593
01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:45,125
[Stan] So?

1594
01:11:45,541 --> 01:11:47,083
[Bob] What do you think, EK?

1595
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,375
It's gold.

1596
01:11:52,458 --> 01:11:53,375
[laughing]

1597
01:11:53,458 --> 01:11:56,416
All that's left
is the routine certification

1598
01:11:56,500 --> 01:11:58,916
by FDA rep Mr. Mike Puntz.

1599
01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:02,291
Well, that's the easy part.

1600
01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:03,625
[all laughing]

1601
01:12:03,708 --> 01:12:05,000
[Stan coughing]

1602
01:12:09,250 --> 01:12:10,250
That's nice.

1603
01:12:11,458 --> 01:12:13,333
[Bob] But what about those mascots?

1604
01:12:13,416 --> 01:12:14,791
[Edsel] <i>Already dealt with.</i>

1605
01:12:14,875 --> 01:12:17,041
[vehicles honking]

1606
01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:18,291
Well, Mr. Kellogg,

1607
01:12:18,791 --> 01:12:20,958
I think you'll find this tiger

1608
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:23,125
has claws.

1609
01:12:27,041 --> 01:12:30,208
[menacing music playing]

1610
01:12:30,291 --> 01:12:32,291
[mascots clamoring]

1611
01:12:33,916 --> 01:12:36,083
- [woman] Let me out!
- [man screaming]

1612
01:12:36,166 --> 01:12:38,166
Give us more, Kellogg!

1613
01:12:39,333 --> 01:12:40,375
[screaming]

1614
01:12:40,458 --> 01:12:44,041
[mascots chanting] Give us more pay!
Give us more pay!

1615
01:12:44,125 --> 01:12:45,583
Cereal mascots,

1616
01:12:45,666 --> 01:12:48,458
and mascot patriots from across the land...

1617
01:12:48,541 --> 01:12:50,166
[mascots cheering]

1618
01:12:50,250 --> 01:12:53,291
...gather ye, gather ye, one and all.

1619
01:12:53,375 --> 01:12:54,750
[all yelling]

1620
01:12:55,958 --> 01:12:58,958
Fortify the perimeter.
I want maximum resistance.

1621
01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,958
Send both security guards.

1622
01:13:01,041 --> 01:13:01,916
[receiver clatters]

1623
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,875
- Where the hell is Puntz?
- I don't know.

1624
01:13:03,958 --> 01:13:05,958
- Oh, here we go.
- Good morning, everyone.

1625
01:13:06,041 --> 01:13:07,281
- Morning, Mike.
- Good morning.

1626
01:13:07,333 --> 01:13:09,892
Sorry I'm late. They had me come
through the back like a plumber.

1627
01:13:09,916 --> 01:13:10,916
Let's go.

1628
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:14,083
- And I am... here?
- Here.

1629
01:13:14,166 --> 01:13:15,833
- Right here.
- Right here. Yeah.

1630
01:13:16,333 --> 01:13:18,208
There you go.
Let me just get you in there.

1631
01:13:18,791 --> 01:13:19,791
[grunts] There we go.

1632
01:13:19,875 --> 01:13:21,000
[all clamoring]

1633
01:13:21,083 --> 01:13:22,208
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1634
01:13:22,291 --> 01:13:25,291
I have seen angry mobs
gather like this before.

1635
01:13:26,666 --> 01:13:27,666
Where was I?

1636
01:13:28,666 --> 01:13:31,875
Do you know
what they call us from up there?

1637
01:13:31,958 --> 01:13:33,041
[mascot] No, what?

1638
01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:35,083
Felt hobos.

1639
01:13:35,166 --> 01:13:37,000
[mascots jeering]

1640
01:13:37,083 --> 01:13:39,083
And carpet critters.

1641
01:13:39,166 --> 01:13:40,833
[mascots yelling]

1642
01:13:40,916 --> 01:13:43,375
This pen was a gift from a colleague,

1643
01:13:43,458 --> 01:13:45,541
and it was, uh, an accidental gift.

1644
01:13:45,625 --> 01:13:46,875
- [Bob] We don't care.
- So...

1645
01:13:46,958 --> 01:13:50,666
Little Debbie here has treats
and Desenex for any costume rash.

1646
01:13:51,166 --> 01:13:53,666
For it is time to fight.

1647
01:13:53,750 --> 01:13:54,625
[mascots] Yeah!

1648
01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:59,458
Let us show them what happens
when cooler heads do not prevail.

1649
01:13:59,541 --> 01:14:00,416
[mascots cheering]

1650
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:03,291
- Yeah!
- [yelling]

1651
01:14:03,375 --> 01:14:05,041
Mr. Kellogg, you should see this.

1652
01:14:05,125 --> 01:14:07,916
{\an8}<i>I was told by a prominent
Kellogg's executive</i>

1653
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:11,458
{\an8}<i>that they had created
a mutant pasta creature by accident.</i>

1654
01:14:11,541 --> 01:14:13,875
{\an8}<i>I wouldn't eat anything
that company makes.</i>

1655
01:14:13,958 --> 01:14:16,541
{\an8}<i>And you're the chairman of Post,
their main competitor?</i>

1656
01:14:16,625 --> 01:14:19,291
[Marjorie] <i>Well, we used to be.
But now that our new product,</i>

1657
01:14:19,375 --> 01:14:22,041
<i>the Post Country Square,
has been certified,</i>

1658
01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:23,375
<i>we'll be number one.</i>

1659
01:14:23,458 --> 01:14:24,875
[dramatic sting]

1660
01:14:24,958 --> 01:14:28,208
They are about to certify
a product that will replace you.

1661
01:14:28,291 --> 01:14:29,416
[mascots] Boo!

1662
01:14:29,500 --> 01:14:30,708
No! No!

1663
01:14:30,791 --> 01:14:32,958
So you had better fight like hell,

1664
01:14:33,625 --> 01:14:37,208
or you're not gonna
have a breakfast anymore!

1665
01:14:37,291 --> 01:14:38,458
[mascots yelling]

1666
01:14:38,541 --> 01:14:40,583
Let the fur fly!

1667
01:14:40,666 --> 01:14:42,000
[mascots] Yeah!

1668
01:14:42,083 --> 01:14:43,208
[all clamoring]

1669
01:14:43,833 --> 01:14:45,458
[horn blowing]

1670
01:14:45,541 --> 01:14:47,875
[yelling, grunting]

1671
01:14:49,958 --> 01:14:51,666
- Get back!
- [mascot grunting]

1672
01:14:55,958 --> 01:14:57,583
[mascot] Go! Go, little elf! Go!

1673
01:14:57,666 --> 01:15:00,125
<i>♪ In the beauty of the lilies ♪</i>

1674
01:15:00,625 --> 01:15:02,750
<i>♪ He was born across the sea ♪</i>

1675
01:15:02,833 --> 01:15:04,291
- [mascot grunts]
- [groans]

1676
01:15:04,916 --> 01:15:07,083
[yelling]

1677
01:15:07,166 --> 01:15:08,166
- [grunts]
- [groans]

1678
01:15:08,208 --> 01:15:10,208
[suspenseful music playing]

1679
01:15:14,875 --> 01:15:15,708
Strawberry.

1680
01:15:15,791 --> 01:15:16,791
[Bob gasps]

1681
01:15:18,125 --> 01:15:20,166
- Ooh, blueberry.
- It's all one flavor, Mike.

1682
01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:23,541
- We just changed the colors.
- They've broken through the perimeter.

1683
01:15:23,625 --> 01:15:24,750
The tiger is pooping.

1684
01:15:24,833 --> 01:15:26,291
[dramatic music playing]

1685
01:15:26,375 --> 01:15:27,791
[mascots clamoring]

1686
01:15:30,833 --> 01:15:33,393
- [mascot 1] Don't let me go!
- [mascot 2] I'll never let you go!

1687
01:15:33,833 --> 01:15:35,083
[mascot 1] We belong together!

1688
01:15:35,166 --> 01:15:36,166
[screaming]

1689
01:15:36,208 --> 01:15:37,958
- [body thuds on ground]
- [mascot 2] No!

1690
01:15:38,041 --> 01:15:39,791
[all yelling]

1691
01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:46,916
Remember this day, boys.

1692
01:15:47,541 --> 01:15:49,583
For this is our company now.

1693
01:15:50,708 --> 01:15:55,416
Snap, Crackle, and Pop, our mission here
is to stop the certification. Hunt Puntz.

1694
01:15:55,500 --> 01:15:57,625
[mascots chanting] Hunt Puntz! Hunt Puntz!

1695
01:15:57,708 --> 01:16:00,083
[Thurl] I love you all.
You're all very special.

1696
01:16:00,166 --> 01:16:01,625
- [mascot grunts]
- [horn toots]

1697
01:16:02,166 --> 01:16:03,541
When can you eat these?

1698
01:16:03,625 --> 01:16:05,041
Is this a meal?

1699
01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:06,250
Is this a snack?

1700
01:16:06,333 --> 01:16:09,250
It's not anything if you don't certify it.
Give me that stamper.

1701
01:16:09,333 --> 01:16:10,833
Oh. [grunting]

1702
01:16:11,625 --> 01:16:13,791
- Don't do it, Bob.
- You don't have the training.

1703
01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:15,583
To do what? This?

1704
01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:16,750
Too late.

1705
01:16:16,833 --> 01:16:18,583
- [Edsel laughing]
- Ha!

1706
01:16:19,166 --> 01:16:21,875
I guess there really
isn't that much to it.

1707
01:16:21,958 --> 01:16:23,458
We are undone, boys.

1708
01:16:23,541 --> 01:16:24,375
[sighs]

1709
01:16:24,458 --> 01:16:26,708
Undone by cruel fate.

1710
01:16:26,791 --> 01:16:27,833
It wasn't fate.

1711
01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:32,083
You had to stop at Woolworth's
for a tooth necklace and Viking horns.

1712
01:16:32,166 --> 01:16:33,791
Be very careful, Crackle,

1713
01:16:33,875 --> 01:16:36,583
or I will take a horn
and joust you in the eye.

1714
01:16:37,375 --> 01:16:38,541
Dignified retreat.

1715
01:16:41,583 --> 01:16:42,833
Open or closed?

1716
01:16:42,916 --> 01:16:43,791
Closed.

1717
01:16:43,875 --> 01:16:45,708
["Cool Jerk" by The Capitols playing]

1718
01:16:45,791 --> 01:16:46,791
Wait up.

1719
01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:50,625
You know,
this really is a terrific product.

1720
01:16:50,708 --> 01:16:51,625
Thank you.

1721
01:16:51,708 --> 01:16:53,000
<i>♪ Cool Jerk... ♪</i>

1722
01:16:55,291 --> 01:16:58,208
"Don't you think you've had
enough to drink tonight, Walter?"

1723
01:16:58,291 --> 01:16:59,458
Not if you keep talking.

1724
01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:03,958
They really outdid themselves with
this one, Corky. It's called Silly Putty.

1725
01:17:04,041 --> 01:17:08,000
It stretches, bounces, and by
some mechanism not yet fully understood,

1726
01:17:08,083 --> 01:17:11,166
captures images of a printed page
when you smoosh it.

1727
01:17:11,250 --> 01:17:13,166
Just getting this now,
a riot at Kellogg's.

1728
01:17:13,250 --> 01:17:14,250
Ooh, let me see that.

1729
01:17:14,333 --> 01:17:16,791
When the ink is fresh,
it works really good.

1730
01:17:17,333 --> 01:17:19,333
[banging]

1731
01:17:20,750 --> 01:17:22,791
I pay the goddamn bills.

1732
01:17:22,875 --> 01:17:26,791
I'll drink as much
as I goddamn want to drink.

1733
01:17:27,875 --> 01:17:30,666
[Walter Cronkite]
<i>Breaking news out of Battle Creek tonight.</i>

1734
01:17:30,750 --> 01:17:33,416
<i>A violent mob of beloved cereal mascots</i>

1735
01:17:33,500 --> 01:17:36,250
<i>attacking their own company
over a new product.</i>

1736
01:17:36,333 --> 01:17:37,500
<i>A product called...</i>

1737
01:17:38,416 --> 01:17:39,583
[paper rustling]

1738
01:17:39,666 --> 01:17:41,500
<i>Having trouble finding my notes here.</i>

1739
01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:44,750
<i>We're all a little rattled by this story.</i>

1740
01:17:44,833 --> 01:17:47,041
<i>Oh well. I guess I could just</i>

1741
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,916
read it off my Silly Putty.

1742
01:17:49,791 --> 01:17:51,250
A product called

1743
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,666
<i>the Pop-Tart.</i>

1744
01:17:55,541 --> 01:17:57,208
- Wha...
- Wh... What did he just say?

1745
01:17:57,291 --> 01:17:59,916
- He called it a Pop-Tart.
- [Bob] He read it backwards.

1746
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,500
Pop-Tart? It's Trat Pop.

1747
01:18:01,583 --> 01:18:04,708
Not anymore.
Forty million people just heard Pop-Tart.

1748
01:18:04,791 --> 01:18:07,208
That wizard-faced news monkey
screwed it up.

1749
01:18:07,291 --> 01:18:10,250
Isn't Pop-Tart a little too close
to Andy Warhol's pop art?

1750
01:18:10,333 --> 01:18:12,750
- Nobody will make that connection.
- I just did.

1751
01:18:13,958 --> 01:18:14,875
Pop-Tart.

1752
01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:15,958
Pop-Tart.

1753
01:18:16,416 --> 01:18:18,000
- I kinda like it.
- Yeah?

1754
01:18:18,083 --> 01:18:19,333
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1755
01:18:19,416 --> 01:18:20,333
No.

1756
01:18:20,416 --> 01:18:21,250
Yeah.

1757
01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:23,625
- Yeah.
- What the hell's the difference?

1758
01:18:23,708 --> 01:18:25,833
Change the boxes
and get 'em on the trucks.

1759
01:18:25,916 --> 01:18:26,916
[Roger] Pop-Tart.

1760
01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:28,583
That's gonna sell.

1761
01:18:28,666 --> 01:18:30,916
["Spirit In The Sky"
by Norman Greenbaum playing]

1762
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:34,000
<i>♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪</i>

1763
01:18:34,083 --> 01:18:37,833
<i>♪ Gonna go to the place that's the best ♪</i>

1764
01:18:38,541 --> 01:18:41,250
<i>♪ When I lay me down to die ♪</i>

1765
01:18:41,333 --> 01:18:45,166
<i>♪ Goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪</i>

1766
01:18:46,083 --> 01:18:49,750
<i>- ♪ Goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪
- ♪ Spirit in the sky ♪</i>

1767
01:18:49,833 --> 01:18:53,583
<i>- ♪ That's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪
- ♪ When I die ♪</i>

1768
01:18:53,666 --> 01:18:56,250
<i>♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪</i>

1769
01:18:56,333 --> 01:19:00,708
<i>♪ I'm gonna go to the place
That's the best ♪</i>

1770
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:05,916
[engines revving]

1771
01:19:20,166 --> 01:19:21,333
[song ends]

1772
01:19:21,416 --> 01:19:22,541
[snoring]

1773
01:19:31,333 --> 01:19:32,875
- [phone ringing]
- [gasps]

1774
01:19:33,708 --> 01:19:34,708
[ringing continues]

1775
01:19:37,333 --> 01:19:38,166
Talk to me.

1776
01:19:38,250 --> 01:19:39,833
[breathing heavily]

1777
01:19:39,916 --> 01:19:42,166
What do you mean
you don't have any sales numbers?

1778
01:19:42,875 --> 01:19:44,375
Call me the second you do.

1779
01:19:45,333 --> 01:19:47,875
- What'd they say?
- Some kind of switchboard breakdown.

1780
01:19:47,958 --> 01:19:50,916
All the lines are flooded.
On the damn day we launch.

1781
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:54,208
All right, all right, calm down.
It might just be a botulism flare-up.

1782
01:19:54,291 --> 01:19:55,625
Oh, I hope it's botulism.

1783
01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:58,375
I just rolled out
five million dollars' worth of Pop-Tarts.

1784
01:19:58,458 --> 01:19:59,666
[phone ringing]

1785
01:20:00,458 --> 01:20:03,291
You better have some numbers for me.
Spit it out!

1786
01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:05,250
[suspenseful music playing]

1787
01:20:05,333 --> 01:20:06,333
What?

1788
01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:09,708
[kids clamoring]

1789
01:20:10,541 --> 01:20:12,541
[screaming]

1790
01:20:14,083 --> 01:20:15,083
[sputters]

1791
01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:17,291
Really?

1792
01:20:17,375 --> 01:20:19,708
[dramatic music playing]

1793
01:20:22,708 --> 01:20:23,791
Oh my God.

1794
01:20:25,083 --> 01:20:26,125
[receiver clatters]

1795
01:20:26,916 --> 01:20:28,291
- [exhales sharply]
- So?

1796
01:20:28,375 --> 01:20:31,166
Did anybody buy the Pop-Tart?

1797
01:20:31,666 --> 01:20:32,666
[chuckles]

1798
01:20:33,458 --> 01:20:35,541
Every store in
the continental United States

1799
01:20:35,625 --> 01:20:38,000
was cleaned out within 60 seconds.

1800
01:20:39,041 --> 01:20:39,875
What?

1801
01:20:39,958 --> 01:20:41,083
[kids screaming]

1802
01:20:41,166 --> 01:20:43,166
[Edsel] <i>It was like a locust attack.</i>

1803
01:20:43,250 --> 01:20:46,041
<i>Kids are doing anything
to get their hands on these Pop-Tarts.</i>

1804
01:20:46,125 --> 01:20:49,083
Six stock boys were bitten.
It's a feeding frenzy.

1805
01:20:49,750 --> 01:20:52,833
<i>It's the name.
No kid wants to be a square.</i>

1806
01:20:52,916 --> 01:20:55,791
<i>And a square from the country? Forget it.</i>

1807
01:20:57,041 --> 01:20:58,375
We got to the moon.

1808
01:20:58,458 --> 01:20:59,875
The breakfast moon.

1809
01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:04,458
These things are the greatest
two rectangles since the Ten Commandments.

1810
01:21:04,541 --> 01:21:05,625
[chuckles]

1811
01:21:07,833 --> 01:21:09,000
Hmm!

1812
01:21:09,083 --> 01:21:10,458
What if we add frosting?

1813
01:21:10,541 --> 01:21:11,541
Ugh.

1814
01:21:11,583 --> 01:21:12,583
- Bad idea.
- Yeah.

1815
01:21:13,416 --> 01:21:16,500
[Bob] <i>So Kellogg's was once again
the king of Battle Creek.</i>

1816
01:21:16,583 --> 01:21:18,864
<i>- And everyone at the company was happy.</i>
- [gavel banging]

1817
01:21:18,916 --> 01:21:20,625
[Bob] <i>Well, maybe not everyone.</i>

1818
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:25,083
Mr. Ravenscroft, is it true
you are a role model for children?

1819
01:21:25,166 --> 01:21:28,000
Yes, Your... Majesty.

1820
01:21:28,083 --> 01:21:30,333
Well, what kind of role model defecates

1821
01:21:30,416 --> 01:21:33,875
in the hallway of one of America's most
beloved companies and yells out,

1822
01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:34,958
and I quote,

1823
01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:39,541
- "I've got some Kel-logs for you"?
- [people groaning]

1824
01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:40,625
[Thurl] I regret that.

1825
01:21:40,666 --> 01:21:43,791
I had had a very
large bowl of Bran Flakes.

1826
01:21:43,875 --> 01:21:47,000
[Bob] <i>Harold von Braunhut
and Chef Boyardee raised Eric,</i>

1827
01:21:47,083 --> 01:21:49,250
<i>their pasta creature, as their own,</i>

1828
01:21:49,333 --> 01:21:51,250
<i>eventually finding out
they were ill-suited</i>

1829
01:21:51,333 --> 01:21:53,500
<i>to handle a rebellious teen ravioli.</i>

1830
01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:56,541
Eric! I told you
to put the pool cover back on.

1831
01:21:56,625 --> 01:21:58,291
- [Eric] Go to hell.
- [gasps]

1832
01:21:58,375 --> 01:22:02,291
- You hear the way your son talks to me?
- Oh, when he talks back, he's my son?

1833
01:22:02,375 --> 01:22:03,291
[yells]

1834
01:22:03,375 --> 01:22:05,875
Oh, you want to have
this fight again, huh?

1835
01:22:05,958 --> 01:22:09,541
[Bob] <i>Tom Carvel and Jack LaLanne realized
they were both part of the same hypocrisy,</i>

1836
01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:11,833
<i>so they opened stores side by side.</i>

1837
01:22:11,916 --> 01:22:13,916
- I thin 'em out.
- And I pack it back on.

1838
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:15,333
[both laughing]

1839
01:22:15,416 --> 01:22:17,791
[Bob] <i>UNIVAC was drafted
and shipped to Vietnam,</i>

1840
01:22:17,875 --> 01:22:20,291
<i>where, according to those
who served under him,</i>

1841
01:22:20,375 --> 01:22:22,791
<i>- his ideas became even more unsound.</i>
- [thunder crashing]

1842
01:22:22,875 --> 01:22:23,958
[whirring]

1843
01:22:24,041 --> 01:22:25,375
[UNIVAC] <i>The horror.</i>

1844
01:22:25,458 --> 01:22:28,250
[Bob] <i>After Bobby Kennedy
squeezed the udders on big milk,</i>

1845
01:22:28,333 --> 01:22:31,750
<i>conspiracy theorists pointed
to frame 263 of the Zapruder film,</i>

1846
01:22:31,833 --> 01:22:35,833
<i>which appeared to show someone
delivering milk to a very strange place,</i>

1847
01:22:35,916 --> 01:22:37,333
<i>a grassy knoll.</i>

1848
01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:40,416
<i>Marjorie Post,
one of the first women CEOs,</i>

1849
01:22:40,500 --> 01:22:42,500
<i>became an icon of female empowerment,</i>

1850
01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:45,541
{\an8}<i>ultimately building a lasting monument
to feminism,</i>

1851
01:22:45,625 --> 01:22:47,833
{\an8}<i>which she named Mar-a-Lago.</i>

1852
01:22:47,916 --> 01:22:49,041
{\an8}[bell dings]

1853
01:22:51,208 --> 01:22:53,500
<i>In the end,
Stan vetoed Kellogg's, her career,</i>

1854
01:22:53,583 --> 01:22:55,375
<i>and pretty much the whole culture.</i>

1855
01:22:55,875 --> 01:22:57,958
Stan? You can't park here.

1856
01:22:58,041 --> 01:23:01,583
- You're such a square, man.
- What the hell are you eating?

1857
01:23:01,666 --> 01:23:03,916
Something I invented called granola.

1858
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:06,458
- And it's gonna bury you!
- [grunts]

1859
01:23:07,583 --> 01:23:08,583
That's not bad.

1860
01:23:09,833 --> 01:23:10,833
Get a job!

1861
01:23:10,916 --> 01:23:14,625
[Bob] <i>Not only was I able to send my kids
to a multi-hundred-dollar college...</i>

1862
01:23:14,708 --> 01:23:18,375
- Nice sod.
- [Bob] <i>...I had enough left over for sod.</i>

1863
01:23:19,166 --> 01:23:23,083
<i>And thanks to the super success
of the Pop-Tart, even I was famous.</i>

1864
01:23:23,166 --> 01:23:25,333
[audience applauding]

1865
01:23:25,416 --> 01:23:27,958
Nice to meet you, Bob.
Looks like you got a winner here.

1866
01:23:28,041 --> 01:23:32,541
Well, we love breakfast at Kellogg's,
and we felt it was time for something new.

1867
01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:34,833
Mmm. Now, why... why the rectangle shape?

1868
01:23:34,916 --> 01:23:37,276
- Well, the pentagram was taken, Johnny.
- [audience laughs]

1869
01:23:37,333 --> 01:23:38,333
By the devil. [laughs]

1870
01:23:38,375 --> 01:23:40,500
[Bob] <i>Like everything else
in the cereal world,</i>

1871
01:23:40,583 --> 01:23:42,500
<i>there was always a surprise inside.</i>

1872
01:23:42,583 --> 01:23:44,291
- [gun fires]
- [audience screams]

1873
01:23:44,958 --> 01:23:47,500
It's Andy Warhol, creator of pop art.

1874
01:23:47,583 --> 01:23:50,625
Your 15 minutes is up, Cabana.

1875
01:23:51,958 --> 01:23:53,958
Only I can be derivative.

1876
01:23:54,041 --> 01:23:55,333
[panicked chatter]

1877
01:23:57,833 --> 01:24:00,500
[Bob] <i>And thanks
to Stan's titanium foil packet,</i>

1878
01:24:00,583 --> 01:24:01,708
I was okay.

1879
01:24:01,791 --> 01:24:05,250
So I'm to believe
the Pop-Tart packet could stop a bullet?

1880
01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,250
I'm here, aren't I?

1881
01:24:07,333 --> 01:24:10,333
And that little ravioli creature,
what the hell was that?

1882
01:24:10,416 --> 01:24:12,541
[bell jingling]

1883
01:24:12,625 --> 01:24:17,625
Ah. I was just having some fun with you.
Anyway, I think someone's here to see you.

1884
01:24:17,708 --> 01:24:20,500
- Mom! Dad!
- Come on, George. It's time to go home.

1885
01:24:21,083 --> 01:24:23,750
All right,
we'll get you those X-ray specs.

1886
01:24:23,833 --> 01:24:24,916
- [George] Yay!
- [laughs]

1887
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:26,000
Thank you.

1888
01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:28,000
Hey.

1889
01:24:28,500 --> 01:24:29,375
[gasps]

1890
01:24:29,458 --> 01:24:31,375
- [squealing]
- [George] Mom, did you see that?

1891
01:24:31,458 --> 01:24:32,458
- [gasps]
- Come on.

1892
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:34,416
[George] Wait, what was that?

1893
01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:35,916
["Sweet Morning Heat" playing]

1894
01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:37,833
Steve Schwinn, are you there?

1895
01:24:38,333 --> 01:24:40,291
- [gasps] Oh ****!
- Oh!

1896
01:24:40,916 --> 01:24:43,000
{\an8}<i>♪ But somehow it wasn't ever enough... ♪</i>

1897
01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:46,000
{\an8}What works for us is choo-choo trains
and <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

1898
01:24:46,083 --> 01:24:48,458
{\an8}Yeah, I'll get right to work
on <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

1899
01:24:48,541 --> 01:24:50,333
[Thurl] They're so...

1900
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:51,833
[bleep]

1901
01:24:53,291 --> 01:24:54,833
{\an8}<i>♪ The moment we connected... ♪</i>

1902
01:24:54,916 --> 01:24:57,625
{\an8}I want <i>Deputy Dawg</i> and <i>Snagglepuss.</i>

1903
01:24:57,708 --> 01:24:59,458
Oh, come on, Marge...

1904
01:24:59,541 --> 01:25:01,166
[all laughing]

1905
01:25:01,250 --> 01:25:04,458
{\an8}<i>♪ I can't keep myself together
When the heat is hot... ♪</i>

1906
01:25:04,541 --> 01:25:06,083
{\an8}We literally have one job.

1907
01:25:06,166 --> 01:25:07,291
{\an8}[crew laughing]

1908
01:25:07,375 --> 01:25:08,833
{\an8}<i>♪...just the way I like it ♪</i>

1909
01:25:08,916 --> 01:25:10,000
{\an8}<i>♪ Please... ♪</i>

1910
01:25:10,583 --> 01:25:11,500
[tongue whipping]

1911
01:25:11,583 --> 01:25:12,791
[gasps]

1912
01:25:14,958 --> 01:25:16,166
{\an8}You wanna go, Carvel?

1913
01:25:16,750 --> 01:25:18,833
{\an8}- [sputters]
- [laughing]

1914
01:25:18,916 --> 01:25:22,500
{\an8}<i>♪ You've got all the lovin' I need ♪</i>

1915
01:25:22,583 --> 01:25:24,541
{\an8}<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1916
01:25:24,625 --> 01:25:26,750
{\an8}<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1917
01:25:26,833 --> 01:25:29,125
{\an8}<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1918
01:25:29,208 --> 01:25:30,208
<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1919
01:25:31,208 --> 01:25:32,375
{\an8}<i>♪ Ooh... ♪</i>

1920
01:25:32,458 --> 01:25:33,666
{\an8}Karajeana.

1921
01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:34,750
{\an8}Karajeana.

1922
01:25:34,833 --> 01:25:35,708
No. Karajeana.

1923
01:25:35,791 --> 01:25:37,666
He had a girl named Karajeana.

1924
01:25:37,750 --> 01:25:38,875
[laughs]

1925
01:25:38,958 --> 01:25:40,541
<i>♪...reason, uh-uh ♪</i>

1926
01:25:40,625 --> 01:25:43,541
<i>♪ 'Cause you know they all
Just pretty much taste the same ♪</i>

1927
01:25:43,625 --> 01:25:48,458
<i>♪ And nothing ever had a season, uh-uh ♪</i>

1928
01:25:48,541 --> 01:25:51,041
{\an8}<i>♪ Strawberry, Blueberry, Real plain
Those the names ♪</i>

1929
01:25:51,125 --> 01:25:52,125
{\an8}<i>♪ Those the names... ♪</i>

1930
01:25:52,208 --> 01:25:56,583
{\an8}Fruit flabby... **** fritters,
whatever the **** they're called.

1931
01:25:56,666 --> 01:25:57,500
[crew laughs]

1932
01:25:57,583 --> 01:26:00,916
This is a comedy. I get it. Sorry.
I thought I was trying to win an award.

1933
01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:04,500
<i>♪ I can't keep myself together
When the heat is hot, come on ♪</i>

1934
01:26:04,583 --> 01:26:06,333
<i>♪ Sprinkles and icing ♪</i>

1935
01:26:06,416 --> 01:26:08,291
{\an8}<i>♪ Just the way I like it ♪</i>

1936
01:26:08,375 --> 01:26:10,166
{\an8}<i>- ♪ Please... ♪
- ♪ Please... ♪</i>

1937
01:26:10,250 --> 01:26:12,000
- Give up the tarts, old man!
- [gasps]

1938
01:26:12,083 --> 01:26:13,625
[screaming]

1939
01:26:13,708 --> 01:26:16,625
<i>♪ Yeah, I want it
Every single day of the week... ♪</i>

1940
01:26:16,708 --> 01:26:18,958
Slow down!

1941
01:26:19,041 --> 01:26:20,291
Mike Diamond.

1942
01:26:20,375 --> 01:26:21,458
Frosty Tips.

1943
01:26:21,541 --> 01:26:23,958
No? Frosty Farms. Friendly Farms.

1944
01:26:24,041 --> 01:26:24,916
[crew laughing]

1945
01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:26,041
"Frosty Tips."

1946
01:26:26,125 --> 01:26:27,958
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1947
01:26:28,041 --> 01:26:29,583
<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1948
01:26:29,666 --> 01:26:31,916
{\an8}<i>♪ I need food that's made
By robots, baby ♪</i>

1949
01:26:32,000 --> 01:26:33,708
{\an8}<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1950
01:26:33,791 --> 01:26:35,708
{\an8}<i>♪ Not some top chef hot shot lady ♪</i>

1951
01:26:35,791 --> 01:26:37,541
{\an8}<i>- ♪ Heat ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪</i>

1952
01:26:37,625 --> 01:26:40,541
{\an8}<i>♪ I put a full slice
In my drop top lately, hey ♪</i>

1953
01:26:40,625 --> 01:26:42,583
{\an8}<i>♪ I leave it on my favorite setting ♪</i>

1954
01:26:42,666 --> 01:26:45,458
<i>♪ You know it's three ♪</i>

1955
01:26:45,541 --> 01:26:48,625
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning heat ♪</i>

1956
01:26:48,708 --> 01:26:53,208
{\an8}<i>♪ I want it every single day of the week ♪</i>

1957
01:26:53,291 --> 01:26:56,750
{\an8}<i>♪ You've got all the lovin' I need ♪</i>

1958
01:26:56,833 --> 01:26:59,208
{\an8}<i>♪ Come on, give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1959
01:26:59,291 --> 01:27:01,333
{\an8}<i>♪ Please ♪</i>

1960
01:27:01,416 --> 01:27:03,791
{\an8}<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning heat ♪</i>

1961
01:27:03,875 --> 01:27:05,208
{\an8}<i>♪ I want that heat ♪</i>

1962
01:27:05,291 --> 01:27:09,083
{\an8}<i>♪ Every single day of the week ♪</i>

1963
01:27:09,166 --> 01:27:12,041
{\an8}<i>♪ You've got all the lovin' I need ♪</i>

1964
01:27:12,125 --> 01:27:15,125
<i>♪ Oh, give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1965
01:27:15,208 --> 01:27:16,875
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1966
01:27:16,958 --> 01:27:19,500
<i>♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪</i>

1967
01:27:19,583 --> 01:27:20,500
<i>♪ Heat ♪</i>

1968
01:27:20,583 --> 01:27:22,833
[crew cheering and applauding]

1969
01:27:25,083 --> 01:27:27,083
{\an8}[cheerful orchestral music playing]

1970
01:27:38,708 --> 01:27:39,708
[music ends]

1971
01:27:39,750 --> 01:27:41,750
[smooth jazz music playing]

1972
01:28:24,833 --> 01:28:26,500
[music fades]

1973
01:28:26,583 --> 01:28:28,666
[dramatic music playing]

1974
01:32:03,083 --> 01:32:04,000
[music ends]

1975
01:32:04,083 --> 01:32:06,083
[cheerful orchestral music playing]

1976
01:32:48,500 --> 01:32:49,500
[music ends]