1 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:46,004 ♪ This little light of mine ♪ 2 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:51,092 ♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪ 3 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,553 ♪ This little light of mine ♪ 4 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:57,682 MAN: Let me tell you a story. It's a story about me. 5 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,727 My stories have made you cry. My stories have made you shout. 6 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:04,314 My stories have even made you turn your life around. 7 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:07,692 But this is a story about how it all began. 8 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,027 Feeling very blessed today. 9 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,570 My name is Taylor Pherry. 10 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,740 Feeling very blessed today. Look how blessed I feel. 11 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,118 Now you've seen my movies and watched my TV shows. 12 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,662 That's okay. 13 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:23,374 But before all that, I was what you might call an entrepreneur. 14 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,878 A jack of all trades. A captain of industry. 15 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,962 My baby. 16 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,340 And a lover of fine cars. 17 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:33,218 By day I judiciously defend the innocent. 18 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,761 Damnit. Case closed. 19 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,097 TAYLOR: While making emergency house call surgeries. 20 00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,057 Stand back, doctors. 21 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:43,603 I am a doctor and I don't need another doctor telling me how to be doctoring. 22 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,481 Oh, this patient dead. 23 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,900 Then after my luxury hotel and engineering firm meetings, 24 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,862 I make time for some zero-emission food delivery to keep myself in touch... 25 00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:53,905 Grossmates! 26 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,240 ...with common people. 27 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,783 Here you are, sir. 28 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,244 What? This is it? 29 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,037 That'll be $75. 30 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,540 But to truly understand how I became the entertainment titan, 31 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,668 you all know today, we need to start at the beginning. 32 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:10,296 And the beginning began with Hoprah Windfall. 33 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:15,510 I'm a little disappointed that my 27th slave movie 34 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,346 didn't farewell at the box office. 35 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,682 I mean, I'm sure you all liked it, right? 36 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,648 Whatever. 37 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:34,195 Anyway, I still have my show, my magazine. 38 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,697 I have my school in Africa, 39 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,867 and of course, Dr. Bill and Dr. Loz. 40 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:46,791 But the time has come for me to find a successor. 41 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,293 Someone to carry the torch. 42 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:52,130 Someone who embodies the intelligence and power needed 43 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,382 for the betterment of all strong women. 44 00:02:54,424 --> 00:03:00,346 God willing, I shall find my successor! 45 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,810 TAYLOR: Hoprah was on a mission, 46 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,313 but little did we know someone else 47 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:12,192 was looking to reinspire hope and faith in the masses as well. 48 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,944 And this is where our story truly begins. 49 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:26,372 If I rule the world, I do everything. 50 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,254 Drive through to heaven! 51 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,007 Where the hell is God? He still ain't here. 52 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,092 MAN: He still ain't answering none of our prayers, man. 53 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,220 It's Sunday, so he's gonna take all day. 54 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,888 WOMAN: He may be late, but he's always on time. 55 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,349 MAN: He was on time when he took my Granny. 56 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:47,185 Oh, you know what? Sometimes I just have to swear to me. 57 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,104 Good me almighty! Just rolling through the clouds. 58 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,608 This is usually my day of rest, but I'm feeling like something. 59 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:58,404 Hashtag Holy Davidson! Holy Davidson! 60 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,406 I'm coming. I'm on my way. 61 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,034 Oh, shit. God's here. Let's get to the meeting. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 62 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,371 Y'all better have something good for me. 'Cause you know what? That's right. 63 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:13,878 (CHANTING) G-O-D! G-O-D! G-O-D! 64 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,382 I'm pissed. The hell is going on? Is that what this is about? 65 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,260 Pitch meeting over some unanswered prayers? 66 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,678 (GRUNTING REPEATEDLY) 67 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:31,229 Tell y'all, y'all owe me right now. Y'all had me watching that... 68 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,606 uh, uh, uh... Held Up. 69 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,234 The little fella, Jamie Foxx. 70 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,362 With that hairline, was all over the place. 71 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,989 That hairline, that teeth. 72 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,073 My bad. 73 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,449 Shit, held up my time. 74 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,911 I'mma start snatching wings. 75 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,581 I'm just kidding. You can keep your wings. 76 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:54,627 For now. 77 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,505 Ching! Ching ching! 78 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,215 Oh! 79 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,717 You know what? 80 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:03,303 I was thinking that we can erase the Will Smith Oscar slap. 81 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,054 I agree. 82 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,931 I like that. 83 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,599 Great guy. Great idea. But he did, boy, that was a hell of a slap, though. 84 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:12,145 He slapped three jokes outta that motherfucker, didn't he? 85 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,604 He did. 86 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,983 Come on, man. Come on, man. Slap the funny out of him. 87 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:18,860 Is that good? 88 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,279 That was good. 89 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,905 Well, what about reparations? 90 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,408 -That works, right? -Yeah. 91 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,328 Lemme think about that. 300,000 apiece. 92 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,955 But then after the BBLs, after the Cristal, 93 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,959 after the Jordans, everything. What'd that leave you? Like $1,700? 94 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,879 Carry the one. Nah, we ain't gonna do that. 95 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,048 They made it this far, this long, they can do it. 96 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,009 These Black people gonna have to figure out a different way. 97 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,970 Is that too much? 98 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,974 Is that too much? I just wanna see how it played out. 99 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:55,646 How about a beautiful, intelligent female president next election? 100 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,398 -Great. -Go on, with yourself. 101 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,650 I can work with that. But listen, 102 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:05,156 don't let the house secretary do the hair 'cause "weave" got a long way to go. 103 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,157 True. 104 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,992 I saw where you went with that. 105 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,827 Come on now. Come on. 106 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,372 Hey, you ain't laughing. Don't get cast down. 107 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,376 You know what I did to Beelzebub. 108 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,971 Well wait, what if we do a Kardashian show 109 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,766 with Tristan and Khloe called "All My Side Children"? 110 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:32,892 -What y'all think? -Great idea. 111 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:36,562 (MIMICKING KHLOE) Oh, my God. Oh my me. 112 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,065 (IN REGULAR VOICE) Y'all like that? Y'all like that? 113 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,150 I don't like it. You go to hell! 114 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,904 Damn. Damn. 115 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,698 No, I'm sorry! 116 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,910 It was fat-ass Petey's pitch! 117 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:57,959 When new angels start falling, I know you need me. 118 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,462 Well, I gotta roll. Meeting's over. 119 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,759 I gotta go save the world. All right. Y'all carry on. 120 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,927 That's God. 121 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,978 GOD: Hey, Hoprah, what's going on? 122 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:20,690 What do you mean what's going on? You're not watching my show? 123 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,943 I need you to find someone who is worthy... 124 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,154 -Huh? -...of continuing my legacy. 125 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,238 What'd you say? 126 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,073 You heard what I said. 127 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:33,244 You find a hero for us women or you're canceled. 128 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,496 And tell Jesus to call me back! 129 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:37,874 Huh? 130 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,086 It's hard being God, man. 131 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,173 That ain't gonna be no easy task, even for him. 132 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,605 TAYLOR: And so God's search began 133 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,441 for someone who could carry Hoprah's torch, 134 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,485 and empower the women of the world. 135 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,946 But we all know that whenever God gives an assignment, 136 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:13,826 the devil always tries to get in the way and block your blessing. 137 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,704 I'll tell you, I don't know who the hell he thinks he is. 138 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,123 I'm going to screw this whole plan up. 139 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,885 TAYLOR: This is my auntie, MaDude. 140 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,054 MADUDE: Bring your ancient ass down here and eat now. 141 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,681 TAYLOR: If God can use her, God can use anybody. 142 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,642 I can't be late today. 143 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,811 Taylor coming by and I'm gonna need your help to get this barbecue together. 144 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,688 Bring your old ass down here. 145 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,440 Who the hell you calling old? 146 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,400 Been sitting here for 10 days. 147 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,153 Well, hell, I was calling your ass old. You answered to it, is you dumb, too? 148 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,030 Know damn well I ain't old. Shoot, no. 149 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,282 And what the hell you got all this shit hooked up to you for, anyway? 150 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,493 Hell, I need all this shit. This shit right here is keeping me alive. 151 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,120 That's my little oxygen tank right there so I don't have to smell you all day. 152 00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:02,083 Got my little pump over there. This shit right here is about to kill me. 153 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,835 But what the hell you wanna stay alive for anyway? Shit, you old as hell. 154 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:08,130 I ain't too old to know terrible cooking when I see it. The hell you done made? 155 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,550 Boy, that's some eggs and some chicken and some-- 156 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:13,469 The hell you got a fried breast implant in here? 157 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,846 You ain't supposed to have feathers in the damn eggs. Look at that. 158 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,849 Boy, that is seasoning, you old kook. That's what that is. 159 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,145 Seasoning my... I ain't seen no, not a Lawry's on here, 160 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,606 not a spec of salt or pepper. Now, what is this? 161 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:29,068 Got a damn chicken foot up in here. Look, it got two of 'em. Look at this, 162 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,820 with the nails on it and everything. 163 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:33,406 Well, ain't you heard that every good chef put their foot in it? 164 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,199 Oh Lord, stink too. Just like you. 165 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,286 Boy, I swear I want to kill your ass right here. 166 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,204 I just wanna step on your face. 167 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,541 You know, woman, you a deadly combination of ugly and dumb equally. Hell. 168 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,460 Now, where you trying to run off to with your little ugly ass dress on? 169 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,795 -Taylor is coming to help me. -Who? 170 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,714 Taylor is your son, now. You know your son-- 171 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,341 Hell, shit. You know how he ain't my son. You know why? 172 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,051 'Cause the boy is delicate. 173 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,345 I'm so tired of you talking about your son, Taylor, like that. 174 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,555 That's my favorite nephew. 175 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,473 Ain't nobody in my family delicate but him. 176 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:02,810 Just 'cause the Black man is educated, keep himself clean, well groomed, 177 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,605 looking nice don't mean that he is delicate. 178 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,565 The boy is eclectic. 179 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,650 He ain't no damn eclectic. I know eclectic. 180 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,402 Hell, Patti LaBelle was eclectic. 181 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,030 -Plus, I don't even think he my son. -You know what? 182 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,198 Waiting for the results from Maury. He ain't my damn son. 183 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,160 I swear. You know what? You should just go head and die. 184 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,413 Just get it on over with. Hell, your penis done passed away already-- 185 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,207 You keep my penis out your mouth now. Hell, talking about my penis, 186 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:28,753 my penis is just fine. Long as I got my, what you call it, Niagra? 187 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,171 My... The Lavitra. 188 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,340 And Cealis. I'm good to go. That's what they tell me. 189 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,092 Where the hell you good to go to, the clinic? Hell, the ED clinic? 190 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,012 No, I got the libido of a 25-year-old man. 191 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,765 Spell libido. I'll give you $5. Go ahead and do it. 192 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,476 -L... -That's what I thought. 193 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:48,272 I'm done talking to your old ass. Eat that damn food, boy. 194 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:53,194 TAYLOR: As you'll see, my true life's purpose had not yet been revealed. 195 00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:56,947 But that all changed the day I was put on the righteous path. 196 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,408 The day my destiny began. 197 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,411 The day I met God. 198 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,296 Man. 199 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,174 What should we use today? 200 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,635 Let's see saints and sinners, that look nice. 201 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,428 (YELLS) 202 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:27,061 I could have swore I seen... No. 203 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,147 I must be going crazy. 204 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:40,241 Now, I know I did not leave that TV on, and why is it staticky? 205 00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,493 Doesn't I pay the bill? This must be HD. 206 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,995 GOD: Taylor Pherry, how am I doing? 207 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,997 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 208 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,917 -Very perceptive, my son. -Oh, my God. Oh, oh my God. 209 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,921 Relax, relax, relax. Dude, chill out. 210 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,173 Are you really God? 211 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,176 Don't tell me you was expecting Jim Carrey or something. 212 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:03,389 Well, Morgan Freeman, actually. You know he play in all the pictures. 213 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,267 Morgan Freeman, I ain't no Morgan Freeman. 214 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,519 Now listen, you know Hoprah, right? 215 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,438 Yeah. 216 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,398 Well, she needs to find someone that can empower the women of the world, 217 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:17,987 and I need your help because my son, you are blessed. 218 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,157 God said I was blessed. 219 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,869 Am I highly favored, too? 220 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,542 Okay. I have lost my mind. I'm crazy. 221 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:35,796 JUDGE: You, sir, are going to have to learn how to respect Black women. 222 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,548 Coming in all times of the night, 223 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:41,093 assaulting her because she found out about your affairs. 224 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:45,931 But Your Honor, I didn't have an affair. I'm not even like married. 225 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,517 JUDGE: You didn't have an affair? 226 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,687 What do you call all those girls from the music video, huh? 227 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,814 I don't do music videos. 228 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:57,610 So you get 'em on the casting couch? Hit it, then quit it, right? 229 00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,821 No, I've never met these women before. I don't even sing. 230 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:05,659 Well, you're a man that's been accused. That makes you guilty. Three years. 231 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,245 Case closed. Next case. 232 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,331 I'm getting locked up for something I didn't even do. 233 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,585 Court calls Roland Lewis. 234 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:18,172 Guilty. Case closed. Next case. 235 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,090 But I'm a white man wearing a suit. 236 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,884 Get your ass out my courtroom. 237 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,053 Should have a chance to defend myself. 238 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:27,056 Court calls Darnell Evans and Ellen Evans. 239 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,229 Are you okay, cousin? You nervous? 240 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,440 No, not at all. I'm happy I'm getting a divorce from that bum. 241 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:40,444 Look at 'em with those ugly, skinny ass white women. 242 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,656 -Just no asses at all. Okay, come on. -Okay. 243 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,741 Here we are, Your Honor. We're right here. 244 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,118 Well, hey there Counselor Fairy. 245 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:53,123 It's actually pronounced Harry, Your Honor. Taylor Pherry. 246 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,918 Oh, I always thought it was fairy. 247 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,504 It's called Harry. The P is silent. 248 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,882 Oh, okay. You got that Mary? 249 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,843 Yes, Your Honor. His P don't work. 250 00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:06,053 I duly noted, Mr. "Harry". 251 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,435 Mr. Evans, who are these women? 252 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:18,315 Well, you see Your Honor, this right here is Karen, and this one right here, 253 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:22,653 this is Karen, and that one right there her name is Karen. 254 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:26,574 These are my publicists from the K, K, K and associates. 255 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,536 They don't look like publicists to me. 256 00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:33,080 Well, you see, Your Honor, 257 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,916 these are the women who gave me the money to pay for my lawyers. 258 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:40,254 That's what white women do. They pay for shit. 259 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,464 That's all they can do. 260 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:46,552 Okay. Okay. Well, after carefully reviewing this case, 261 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,512 I have made a decision. 262 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:53,142 Your wife who has been by your side since day one. 263 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,310 Day one. 264 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,186 She put you through college, law school, 265 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,939 -and stood by your side through thick and thin. -(YAWNS) 266 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:05,696 And if this strong woman can stand by your sorry, no good bum ass, 267 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:09,366 then she deserves to get half of all of your possessions. 268 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,910 ALL: Half? 269 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,704 I gotta give up one and a half of my Karens? 270 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,747 Half, girlfriend. 271 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,998 Half? 272 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,541 Oh, hell no. 273 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,670 ♪ Just said half ♪ 274 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:22,713 ♪ Yes, she did ♪ 275 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,423 ♪ Just said half ♪ 276 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,549 ♪ Yes, she did ♪ 277 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,759 ♪ Just said half ♪ 278 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,636 ♪ Yes, she did ♪ 279 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,471 ♪ Just said half ♪ 280 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,097 ♪ Just said half ♪ 281 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,183 ♪ Just said half ♪ 282 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,018 ♪ Not one percent but half ♪ 283 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,269 ♪ Just said half ♪ 284 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,979 ♪ Not two percent but half ♪ 285 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,731 ♪ Just said half ♪ 286 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,982 ♪ Just said half ♪ 287 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,735 ♪ Just said half ♪ 288 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,195 ♪ Just said half ♪ 289 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,698 (LOUD FLATULENCE) 290 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,450 (COUGHING) 291 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,664 Told your ass about them damn cigarettes. I did. Trying to kill yourself. 292 00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:59,875 Don't you worry about me. I'mma smoke as much as I damn please. Hell. 293 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,293 They my lungs. 294 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,170 That's why I got these little backup ones over here. 295 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:07,341 Got two brand new lungs in there. I used to have a lamb's heart somewhere, 296 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,468 but I can't seem to locate it nowhere. (FARTS) 297 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,762 I swear you the nastiest. You just the nastiest, 298 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,099 nastiest thing I ever seen. I don't know why the hell I let you live with me. 299 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,934 I don't know why. 300 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,268 Because you think you gon' get my money when I'm gone. That's right. 301 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,270 I'm gonna get your money! 302 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,314 And I'm gonna donate your brain to science and then I'm gonna get Moe's money, 303 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,985 Moe's money. Till they find out your brain ain't worth no money, 304 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,361 no money, no money. 305 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,196 You think you got jokes? You know what you gonna get? 306 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,615 You gonna get this gas money. (FARTS) 307 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,618 Take that with you. Take that gas money with you. That's what you gonna get. 308 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,619 Goddamn you nasty as hell. 309 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,162 That's all you going to get. 310 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,167 -Who the hell is this? -That's Taylor, fool. 311 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:46,630 Look at this boy, here. 6'8" and driving a damn Mazda Miata. 312 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:50,342 What? He ought to be ashamed of his damn self. 313 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,636 And does he look like a man that could throw a 10-yard pass to you? 314 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,681 You know what? You gonna pass away if you don't watch your mouth. 315 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:58,225 You ever seen a shark belch? 316 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,102 I seen a dinosaur belch. 317 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:03,022 Well, I have and I'm gonna see it again. If you don't watch your mouth, 318 00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,648 and stop smoking them damn cigarettes. 319 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,316 Don't you worry about me and my damn cigarettes. 320 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,236 Get my house all messed up. Hey baby, come on over here. 321 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,488 That's disgusting. 322 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,032 You ain't supposed to be kissing your own child in the mouth. 323 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,116 What the hell y'all doing? 324 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,826 That is your son. 325 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,578 -Hell it is. -Dad! 326 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,538 Well hell, they must have tricked me. I took my money down there. 327 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:22,750 I said, "Look, gimme two pit bull puppies." Came back with this one. 328 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,252 I thought you were supposed to be in court? What you doing here? 329 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,589 We won. But MaDude, I need you to come with me right now. 330 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,632 We gotta get to the house. Ellen needs your help. 331 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,509 -We gotta go. -Well, hell, let's go! Come on. 332 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,387 MOE: Yeah, get your big ass out this house. Now, I can see the TV. 333 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,473 Smell better in here already. 334 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,058 TAYLOR: You gotta put on your seatbelt. 335 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,520 Oh, damn, boy. I got my knees up to my titties. 336 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,230 It's the law. 337 00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:47,566 Boy, you better worry about your damn self. This matchbox ass car. 338 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:51,028 You know I love this car. It's tiny, sleek and powerful. 339 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,405 Sends a tingling sensation up my spine. 340 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,408 -I got a tiny little version of this in my nightstand too. -Huh? 341 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,703 She do all the good things, works all the areas real good. 342 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:01,997 (SIGHS) 343 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,124 You know this morning right before court, 344 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:08,504 God told me I'm supposed to empower all the women of the world. 345 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:12,633 Oh damn, boy. With all your jobs, God got you pimping, too? 346 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,718 God came to me and he told me that 347 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,387 he wants me to empower the women of the world. 348 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,014 Wait what? 349 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,100 Boy, I swear something ain't right with you 350 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,559 and we're gonna pray on it. 351 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,228 Oo-wee! 352 00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:32,319 Boy, you're going too fast. Slow down now. Slow down! 353 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,612 -Shit, my wig! -Oh! 354 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,073 Good God. 355 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,158 Boy. You got me out here looking like the Dora Milaje. 356 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,910 You done cost me another damn wig. 357 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,620 Well use one of mine. 358 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,747 Here you are. 359 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,167 The hell you got a wig for, boy? 360 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,461 I'm a Boy Scout. I'm always prepared. 361 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:53,590 When God said empower, I bet he was talking about Ellen. 362 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:57,261 MaDude, thank you so much for coming to help me get my things. 363 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,429 Listen, I'm a little nervous. It might get violent. 364 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,598 That's okay. Violence is my Tender name baby. Let's go. 365 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,350 Okay, let's go. 366 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,227 If anything goes down, I got your bail money. 367 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,770 Yeah. So I was saying... 368 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:10,315 Now, MaDude's gonna take care of this. What the hell is this? 369 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,359 Is this Shaka Zulu interior design? 370 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,777 You came back to cry? 371 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,320 No! 372 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,947 I bet you when you leave here, 373 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,826 you gonna go tell all the Black women that Darnell ain't shit. 374 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,620 But guess what? You right. Darnell ain't shit. 375 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,874 -Get your ass out my house. -Hell nah, she ain't going nowhere. 376 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,542 MaDude, mind your business 377 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,461 'cause I'll fight a woman if that's what your big ass really is. 378 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,716 Okay. Come on Lil Achi. You feeling froggy. Come on Lee. 379 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:39,970 Okay. Okay. No. Okay, listen. Peace. Let's try peace y'all. 380 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,807 No girl. Peace don't work. Hell naw. The judge, she said half. 381 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,269 -I'm about to whoop her big ass. -What are doing, MaDude? No, no, no. 382 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,771 -And we gonna start right here. -No. 383 00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,190 (SCREAMING) 384 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,696 What else needs to be cut? Come on over here. 385 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,865 Yeah, this shaka Zulu shit got to go! 386 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,285 Why would you do that? 387 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,829 Now, what is this ugly ass shit you got on this wall? This the Monique Lisa? 388 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,706 Yeah. That's a ugly monstrosity you don't want that? 389 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,375 I ain't cutting that shit for you. This TV though. 390 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,796 Look at that. 391 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:19,343 Now this here. This definitely needs to get cut. Now look at that. 392 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,427 Lord, I'm gonna pray for you, MaDude. 393 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,887 Girl, you ain't gotta pray for me. 394 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,847 You gotta pray for his ass if he don't get out my way. 395 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,641 Anything in here you want? 396 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,768 Don't touch the closet, don't. I need to get some things outta there. 397 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,311 Oh, my. 398 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,896 -Girl. What's in this kitchen? You hungry? -MaDude, no! 399 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,899 The judge said half, your ass is gonna get half. 400 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,526 Look at that. 401 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,655 You know I can't have that, I'm on keto. 402 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:42,449 Now look here, I might have flunked out of beauty school, 403 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,493 but not before I learned a few tips. 404 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,662 -That's right. -(MUMBLING) 405 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,956 -Look at that. Look at that. -Wait, wait. 406 00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,540 MaDude, no! 407 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,377 I'm the best barber you ever saw. Girl, I did a good job. 408 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:58,257 Hell, maybe you can get you a man now. Edward Scissorhands ain't got shit on me. 409 00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,425 ELLEN: Ah! He's gonna get so mad at me. 410 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:01,843 MaDude. 411 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,221 Wait a minute, will ya? 412 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,556 MADUDE: Now that is what you call a haircut. 413 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,141 Oo-wee! 414 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,477 I ain't seen an edge that straight since Meg Thee Stallion. 415 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,062 (SIRENS APPROACHING) 416 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,399 Thats the cops? Shit, I already got two strikes. I gotta go. 417 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,734 Girl, I ain't got time to do your mustache. Next time. 418 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:18,777 (EXCLAIMS) 419 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,157 Lord Jesus. 420 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:28,245 TAYLOR: When God said he wanted me to empower women, I'm not sure he meant like this. 421 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,746 -Darnell. -What? 422 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,624 I don't care what the judge says. I still love you. 423 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,418 I don't care that you slept with my sister. 424 00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:35,919 Now I got a daughter-niece. 425 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,755 I don't care that you gave me the crotch critters twice. 426 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,382 I don't care about any of that. 427 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,676 Damn woman. You don't care about nothing. 428 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:46,722 No, I just wanna have your baby. You've been my husband for 11 years. 429 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:49,433 -And I've been cheating on you for 12. -But I love you. 430 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,311 -And I don't love you. -We can make this work out. 431 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:54,021 No, you gonna be moving out. 432 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,690 How could you do this to me? 433 00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:00,319 How could I do what? Watch out Karen. How can I do what? 434 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,528 This? 435 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:05,282 Not today sucka. 436 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,410 Oh, shit. What the hell. 437 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,289 -All I did was love you. -Don't do this. 438 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,874 Why you doing this to me? 439 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:16,418 Another dead body moving through the oval. 440 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,795 And another one. 441 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:19,963 I was a good woman. 442 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,341 You had this coming, you had this coming. 443 00:22:22,382 --> 00:22:23,633 ELLEN: I can't believe it. 444 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:24,718 (YELLS) 445 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:28,096 Why you doing this to me? 446 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,686 Tsunami. I can't swim girl. 447 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,646 Just stand up, stupid. (CRYING) 448 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:42,986 Damn it. 449 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,405 I'm 'bout to whoop your ass. 450 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,407 TAYLOR: Empowerment comes in many forms. 451 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,326 I guess. 452 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,787 One thing I can say about my cousin Ellen, 453 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,581 when one man was gone, 454 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,875 another man was right around the corner 455 00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,587 and he kinda seemed similar. 456 00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:07,094 ♪ Hey lady Do you need a ride?♪ 457 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,679 Where did you come from? 458 00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:16,228 ♪ The Lord sends me to places I'm supposed to be♪ 459 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:17,479 I'm an angel. 460 00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:20,190 Why you sound like a R&B Auto-Tune singer? 461 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,983 You see, girl, 462 00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:26,071 this is my regular seductive voice and T-Pain is my play stepdaddy. 463 00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:29,032 I don't get in the car with strangers. 464 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,910 Hold that thought. 465 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:41,294 Does this body look strange to you? 466 00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:44,631 Airbrushed, maybe, but I guess not strange. 467 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,467 The name's Tallahassee. 468 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,178 Not to be confused with Orlando. 469 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:53,557 Now, we not strangers no more. So do yourself a favor, girl. 470 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:58,186 Get on in this truck and let me ride you to wherever you need to go. 471 00:23:58,228 --> 00:23:59,187 I got nowhere to go. 472 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:05,986 I swear to God, he try me, I'm gonna whip his little fragile ass. 473 00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:11,867 Hey, come on girl. I got you. I got you. I got you. 474 00:24:11,908 --> 00:24:16,079 Come on. Get up in this truck. Get up in this truck. 475 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:18,039 Get up in this truck. 476 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,082 Okay. 477 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,586 Watch your bunions, girl. 478 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,254 I don't know why I'm doing this. 479 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,505 Body never fails me. 480 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,633 I don't even know this man. 481 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,597 All right. 482 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,433 Do me a favor, 483 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:37,642 steer for me, baby. 484 00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:39,978 My name's not baby, it's Ellen. 485 00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:43,356 Okay. Well, since you're not gonna do it, 486 00:24:43,398 --> 00:24:48,153 I'm gonna have to go ahead and get my workout right here. 487 00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,155 You see most people got guns. 488 00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:52,449 I got dogs. (BARKS) 489 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:53,617 Okay, listen. 490 00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:56,203 My godmother lives all the way across town. 491 00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:57,412 It's all good. 492 00:24:57,454 --> 00:24:59,080 My godmother lives over there, too. 493 00:24:59,122 --> 00:25:01,082 I'm just gonna run by my crib right quick 494 00:25:01,124 --> 00:25:04,085 and then I'm gonna ride you all the way there. 495 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:05,795 Yeah. 496 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:10,258 Thank you so much for doing all this for me. 497 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:11,843 Yeah, it's all good. 498 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,513 You know I do have rather large areolas. 499 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,224 -Yeah, they are large. -Yeah. 500 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:20,602 It might be all those sexy steroids I be taking. 501 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,814 You got to excuse me. 502 00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:28,944 Sometimes I turn myself on. 503 00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:31,947 Are you... You got, you gotta be kidding me. 504 00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:33,031 (MOANING) 505 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:36,701 Ready to go. 506 00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:39,704 I ain't got nowhere else to go. 507 00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:43,333 -You in for the time of your life, girl. -Oh, God. 508 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:45,502 -So don't you worry about nothing. -You better make... 509 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,295 I'm about to give you the time of your life. 510 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:48,547 Oh, my God. 511 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,175 Right here, baby. 512 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:53,677 Here's a special drink I made for you. I drink it all the time. 513 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,471 -That's how I look the way I look. -Okay. 514 00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:58,223 Yeah. You see I put bananas in it. 515 00:25:58,265 --> 00:25:59,724 Most people just use the banana. 516 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,352 I use the banana and the peel. 517 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:03,853 Okay. 518 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,355 I also use a little bit of Red Bull. It gives you wings. 519 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,566 -I don't want to fly. -Yeah, you do just a little bit. 520 00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:10,485 I put a little bit of coke in it without the cane. 521 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,612 No, no. Okay. 522 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,782 Okay. 523 00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:18,076 There you go, baby. It'll do your body right. 524 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,663 You know, I want some real food, 525 00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:24,874 you know, like Waffle House or White Castle something, anything. 526 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,042 -Not this. -No, no, no. 527 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:27,961 -You don't want that crap. -I do. 528 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:32,716 You see this here, right here. It's gonna help get rid of ya lady lumps. 529 00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:35,468 Excuse me. That is not how you talk to a lady. 530 00:26:35,510 --> 00:26:37,554 Excuse me. 531 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:41,057 But I don't expect we are here to do much talking now, are we? 532 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:44,603 I guess you right. 533 00:26:44,644 --> 00:26:46,062 You damn right I'm right. 534 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:48,023 Now we just gonna tighten that up and tighten that up, 535 00:26:48,064 --> 00:26:51,651 little dat. Tighten it up, and you'll be as tight as me. 536 00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:53,737 I don't wanna look like you. 537 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:57,907 I just need you to relax and trust me, and let me do my thing. Hands up. 538 00:26:58,992 --> 00:27:01,161 -(SHRIEKING) -(SUCKING NOISES) 539 00:27:06,499 --> 00:27:08,084 Ooh. Ah! 540 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:16,009 You like my stick, you like my magic stick, don't you? 541 00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:21,556 You ready for the new you? 542 00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,141 Spin around for me. 543 00:27:25,393 --> 00:27:26,770 Woo-wee! 544 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:28,980 Damn. I'm good. Come on and check yourself out, girl. 545 00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:32,817 Come on over to the window and look at yourself. Voila. 546 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,944 Damn. I do look good. 547 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:38,156 You do, but I look better. 548 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:40,325 Oh, no. I look better. 549 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:41,868 Hell no. I look better. 550 00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:51,294 Look at them biceps, girl. Shit. Where we going? 551 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:57,217 Damn. You do know my areolas won first place in the Mr. America pageant. 552 00:27:58,051 --> 00:27:59,344 Damn, girl. 553 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:01,262 -Shut up and take it like a man. -Whoa, whoa, whoa! 554 00:28:01,304 --> 00:28:04,307 I didn't know you was going go all Fifty Shades of Grey on a brother. 555 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:06,267 You do know that's white people shit, right? 556 00:28:06,309 --> 00:28:08,812 Shut your ass up. 557 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:11,106 -What the hell is that? -My electric toothbrush. 558 00:28:11,147 --> 00:28:13,650 You ain't about to use a toothbrush on my ass. 559 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,735 I'm about to use this toothbrush up your ass. 560 00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:17,112 -No you ain't. -Yes I am! 561 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:19,197 Hell no! (SCREAMS) 562 00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:25,829 Can't believe she done tied my hair up. 563 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,833 What you still doing in bed? 564 00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:31,626 Come on. Let me go. 565 00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,545 You want a little more before I go. 566 00:28:33,586 --> 00:28:35,755 No, I want you to untie me so I can go. 567 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:37,090 You been bad? 568 00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:41,344 No. What's wrong with you? What the heck? Ow! Ow! 569 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:43,054 -Say my name! -Evil? 570 00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:44,180 -That's not my name. -Crazy? 571 00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:45,765 -That's not my name. -Deranged? 572 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,934 Say my name. Boy, say my name. 573 00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:49,936 I thought you was a Christian. 574 00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,938 Helluur. Y'all better eat this food now. 575 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,733 TAYLOR: Coming from a family of professionals and non-professionals, 576 00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,985 our family is just like any other. 577 00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:58,945 What you got, Sly and the Family Stone? 578 00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,864 TAYLOR: If you really look for it, 579 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:03,950 finding empowerment of women can even be found at our family barbecue. 580 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,368 Black, what the hell is you doing? 581 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:08,371 I swear to God if you make my meat as black as you is, 582 00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:09,497 we're gonna have problems. 583 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:11,958 I'm trying to make me some crispy ribs. 584 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,960 I'm the king of Atlanta barbecuing. 585 00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:16,504 Who told you that lie, mothersucker? 586 00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:17,756 This how I make my living. 587 00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:19,591 I can tell. 588 00:29:19,632 --> 00:29:22,135 That's why your ass is broke as hell with them Ronald McDonald Socks. 589 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:25,430 Don't burn my meat. Hey, everybody. Y'all looking good. 590 00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:27,974 You looking good today. 591 00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:31,352 I'mma show you how to do it up in here. I need more. 592 00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:36,900 In Atlanta they make it flame. 593 00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,067 Whoo! 594 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,360 The hell you doing over here? 595 00:29:39,402 --> 00:29:41,237 Oh, Lord. Here comes the Grinch that stole ugly. 596 00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:42,906 I know you ain't calling nobody ugly. 597 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,616 You about as pretty as a murder scene. 598 00:29:44,657 --> 00:29:47,494 Can you even see them damn dominoes? Know your ass can't count. 599 00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:49,788 Look, they used to call her low and brow. One nipple was low. 600 00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:51,247 The other one had a eyebrow. 601 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:53,291 I should have killed you in your crib when you was born. 602 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,126 I don't know why the hell we let you live. 603 00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:58,546 (SCREAMING) 604 00:30:00,715 --> 00:30:02,008 Help! Help me! Help me! 605 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:04,886 Take this, domino, you summa bitches. Game over. 606 00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:06,763 Help me! Help me! 607 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:07,972 You lost again. 608 00:30:08,014 --> 00:30:09,557 Well, look at this crispy negro over here. 609 00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:10,975 Help me, help me! 610 00:30:11,017 --> 00:30:13,394 Ain't that something, boy. Stop drop and roll, negro. 611 00:30:15,730 --> 00:30:17,315 Stop, drop and roll! 612 00:30:17,357 --> 00:30:19,192 Boy, don't be trying to burn up my grass, now what you doing? 613 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,902 I think you better save that for the meat. 614 00:30:20,944 --> 00:30:23,738 It's hot as hell out here and he's trying to burn up the grass. 615 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:25,073 This some good water? 616 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:28,201 In the name of the father. 617 00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:30,954 Always doing the Lord's work. 618 00:30:30,995 --> 00:30:34,040 TAYLOR: I believe family also means familiar, 619 00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:35,792 and God knows why I'm saying that. 620 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:37,001 I taste like bacon. 621 00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,003 WOMAN: You look good. 622 00:30:39,045 --> 00:30:41,714 Girl, I look great, but I didn't wanna look this good. 623 00:30:41,756 --> 00:30:42,757 No, why not? 624 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,300 I look like a hoochie. 625 00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:45,885 -A hoochie mama, for real? -Yes. 626 00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:48,096 I don't think so. I think you're taking it too far. 627 00:30:48,137 --> 00:30:51,808 No, he took it too far. Girl, I actually got hips. 628 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:54,143 -You do. -And my butt sits too high. 629 00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,937 It does. 630 00:30:55,979 --> 00:30:58,648 Yeah, and if he think he gonna keep changing my body for his likings, 631 00:30:58,690 --> 00:31:00,483 he's got another thing coming. 632 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:02,777 TAYLOR: I guess God wants me to learn about female empowerment 633 00:31:02,819 --> 00:31:04,737 before I can be empowering. 634 00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:07,866 Hey, Black. Now I know as big as your ass is you know how to make some chicken. 635 00:31:07,907 --> 00:31:08,950 -I do. -Come on now. 636 00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:10,869 I like my chicken without salmonella. 637 00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:14,455 Now are these chicken breast or it's your breast? 638 00:31:14,497 --> 00:31:17,834 Is you slow in the head? Somebody hit you? Bitch, that is chicken. 639 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,502 You better make it right. 640 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,671 Hey, girls, how y'all doing? I'm so glad y'all here, ladies. 641 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:25,174 Y'all good? Y'all feeling good? Show is a nice day for a picnic. 642 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:27,886 So for me, her, her, her. All of us. 643 00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,138 Darnell. 644 00:31:30,179 --> 00:31:33,057 I know you didn't bring them ugly ass Karens up to my cookout. 645 00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:36,686 Boy, I can barely stand your ass anyway. You better get them away from my grill. 646 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,146 I seen more ass on a snake. 647 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,148 Come on girls. 648 00:31:40,189 --> 00:31:42,233 MaDude's tripping and she's packing. 649 00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:44,944 That's right. You better get them girls away from my damn grill. 650 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:47,030 Bro. Come on Karens. 651 00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:49,115 Come on now. Y'all ain't moving fast enough for me. Gets it moving. Chop, chop. 652 00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:53,328 I don't ever wanna see taste, touch, talk, walk, do nothing with that girl, man. 653 00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:55,371 -Man, it couldn't have been that bad. -It was. 654 00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:58,249 But you have those wonderful abs. She must've been everything you needed. 655 00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:00,209 Man, that's what I thought. 656 00:32:00,251 --> 00:32:01,169 Wow. 657 00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:02,712 Oh. Here's my cousin. Ellen? 658 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,047 Hey... 659 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,132 What are you doing here? 660 00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:07,383 -This the crazy woman... -This the crazy man... 661 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,927 -...I was telling about! -...I was telling about! 662 00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:11,721 You left me for dead, girl. Why you gotta be so mean, woman? 663 00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:15,099 Mean? You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. 664 00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:18,895 You mean to tell me you gonna make the new brother pay for the last brother mistakes? 665 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,939 -MADUDE: Somebody gotta pay. -Hell yeah, somebody gotta pay. 666 00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:22,732 Amen. 667 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,526 So you just another mad Black woman, huh? So what you going to do? 668 00:32:25,568 --> 00:32:29,113 Go home and write in your diary about your raggedy ass weave? 669 00:32:29,155 --> 00:32:31,366 Raggedy ass weave? 670 00:32:31,407 --> 00:32:33,826 You should be the last person to talk about somebody having... 671 00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:35,370 Girl, my hair is luxurious. 672 00:32:35,411 --> 00:32:36,746 You know what? I got something from you. Stay right there. 673 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,289 I'm standing right here. I ain't running. 674 00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:40,249 Oh! 675 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:42,251 I got wet! My waist is wet! 676 00:32:42,293 --> 00:32:44,253 Maybe I'm not the right person for this job. 677 00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:46,589 My abs are melting. Oh no, girl. 678 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,466 You know, it took me all week to paint these on. 679 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:50,927 -Should've took longer. -Why would you do this? 680 00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:52,845 Boy, stop all that windmilling shit. 681 00:32:52,887 --> 00:32:55,139 -(BLOWS WHISTLE) -Oh, no! 682 00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:57,183 TAYLOR: My waist is wet. 683 00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:58,434 Well, at least I still got my areolas. 684 00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,603 I got something for areolas too. Hold on. 685 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:03,523 Get him again. He gonna run outta here? But don't run too far, baby. 686 00:33:03,564 --> 00:33:05,942 You got your abs in a puddle in this grass. 687 00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,777 Boy, you better come clean this shit up. 688 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,196 TAYLOR: With everything I am, I'm only one man. 689 00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:12,740 Yo "Fairy", wanna ball? 690 00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:15,535 It's Pherry. I don't mess with P. 691 00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:17,453 We need one more. Get over here. We chests. 692 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:18,496 I'd love to play! 693 00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:23,876 Male Empowerment. 694 00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:26,004 God never said nothing about that. 695 00:33:28,464 --> 00:33:29,799 I love this game. 696 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:31,759 Thank you, God. Balls! Balls! 697 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,054 Crap. 698 00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:40,184 -Yo, Taylor. -Oh, God. 699 00:33:40,226 --> 00:33:42,103 How was the cookout? 700 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:46,149 Not really good. You know, my family is... 701 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:49,360 They crazy. The shit they get... 702 00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:51,446 The stuff they get themselves into. 703 00:33:51,487 --> 00:33:52,989 Well, it's up to you to change that. 704 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:55,700 I have an idea and I'm gonna need you to commit to it. 705 00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:59,120 -If not, I'm out of a job. -I'll do anything for you, God. 706 00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:00,913 Great. I need you to become a writer. 707 00:34:00,955 --> 00:34:01,998 -A writer? -A writer. 708 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,666 -A writer? -A writer. 709 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,961 I can't do that. I mean, I'm a doctor, a lawyer, a hotel manager, 710 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:11,507 a badminton coach, an architect, an unlicensed plumber, a mover, a shaker. 711 00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:12,759 I don't know nothing about writing. 712 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,677 -Do you know what a plot point is? -No. 713 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,721 -A good storyline. -Hell no. I ain't never heard of that. 714 00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:19,474 Your family's crazy, right? They'll have all the drama, 715 00:34:19,515 --> 00:34:22,477 the comedy and the horror you need. You're gonna write a play. 716 00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:25,605 -What? What? -Better yet, a movie. Include me and Hoprah. 717 00:34:25,646 --> 00:34:27,398 But you can do bad all by yourself. 718 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,859 It's going to be a box office hit. 719 00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:33,196 Well, what if I screw up everything for the whole world? 720 00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:35,656 Have faith, Taylor, you're on a divine path. 721 00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:37,867 -(CELL PHONE RINGING) -Speaking of which, you better take that. 722 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,702 All right, that's it. Gotta go. 723 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:41,204 This fellow Putin is tripping. 724 00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:43,289 Hey, hey, hey Julie. 725 00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:45,708 JULIE: I can't take another minute of this traffic. It's driving me crazy. 726 00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,418 I meant to ask you for a favor at the cookout, 727 00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:50,046 -but I got caught up eating chicken. -What can I do for you? 728 00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,881 I need a good driver for tomorrow. 729 00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,092 Say no more. I'm on my way. 730 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,845 Woo! God be talking his ass off. 731 00:34:57,887 --> 00:35:02,391 First female empowerment. Now, God wants me to write a movie? 732 00:35:02,433 --> 00:35:04,310 ELLEN: Dear diary, today 733 00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:08,356 I took my mother's advice and I need spaghetti, sauce, 734 00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:13,236 ground turkey meat, turkey sausage, mushrooms, garlic. 735 00:35:13,903 --> 00:35:15,822 And vodka. 736 00:35:15,863 --> 00:35:18,407 I sure hope it tastes good. 737 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:21,452 With everything I've been going through, diary, 738 00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:24,372 I need some comfort and joy in my life. 739 00:35:24,413 --> 00:35:25,957 Lately, it just feels like 740 00:35:25,998 --> 00:35:29,168 a sad little rain cloud follows me everywhere I go. 741 00:35:37,844 --> 00:35:40,429 Yo baby, you need a ride? 742 00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:42,765 No, I can wait for the bus. 743 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:46,102 Girl, go on and hop into this truck. Can't you see the lightning? 744 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,728 (THUNDER CRASHES) 745 00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:50,940 I'm fine. 746 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:53,025 All this rain gonna make your gout swell up, girl. 747 00:35:53,067 --> 00:35:55,027 I can wait for the bus. 748 00:35:55,069 --> 00:35:58,489 Besides, I'm a new woman and this woman don't ride with certain types of men. 749 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,992 Why you gotta be so mean, woman? 750 00:36:01,033 --> 00:36:02,869 Why you gotta be so nice, man? 751 00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:07,290 Look just get in the truck. The next bus don't come for about an hour. 752 00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:08,791 (THUNDER CRASHES) 753 00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:10,877 Okay, okay. Let me get in. 754 00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,962 Yep. Get your ass in, girl. 755 00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:15,339 I'm coming. I'm coming. 756 00:36:16,632 --> 00:36:18,259 -Here, get my purse. -I got you. 757 00:36:18,301 --> 00:36:21,470 Come on now. Come on. Yep, I got you. Come on. 758 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,890 -There you go. Close the door. -Okay, hold on. 759 00:36:26,225 --> 00:36:29,145 TAYLOR: Is this what God meant when he said my family's like no other 760 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:33,191 -or are we all the same like my cousin Monte Carlo? -(KNOCKING AT DOOR) 761 00:36:33,232 --> 00:36:37,195 You girls get ready. Your mama is gonna be here soon. Hey, come on in. 762 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,367 How is my favorite limo, Lyft, Uber driving cousin? 763 00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:45,995 Take your shoes off at the door if you don't mind. 764 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:48,998 As disgusting as this place is, I absolutely do mind. 765 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,791 Why don't we take the floor up? 766 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:52,210 Ah! 767 00:36:52,251 --> 00:36:54,128 Fair enough. 768 00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:58,925 So what do I owe this surprise visit from the most prominent prestigious 769 00:36:58,966 --> 00:37:02,345 lawyer, surgeon and employee in the entire city? 770 00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:05,514 -Well, I've got a job for you. -You got a job? 771 00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:07,683 Yes. High paying job. 772 00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:11,229 Make your own hours. I've been calling you. Do you want it? 773 00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:16,025 I gotta say extra money is always needed around here. 774 00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:19,695 You know I got the three kids, maybe two, four baby mamas and you know, 775 00:37:19,737 --> 00:37:22,031 I'm trying to get that chicken and check cashing place off the ground. 776 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:23,783 Chicken and check cashing? That don't go together. 777 00:37:23,824 --> 00:37:25,743 Neither does chicken and waffles, but you see how that blew up. 778 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:30,206 Oh, you know what, cuz, I am very, very proud of you. 779 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,999 Three years in prison. 780 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:33,376 Three little girls. 781 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:36,420 Not Precious, Least Precious, Not Precious at all. 782 00:37:36,462 --> 00:37:39,048 You really got your stuff together. 783 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,926 That's right. You see, 'cause hate put me in there, 784 00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:43,386 but love busted me out. 785 00:37:43,427 --> 00:37:45,221 Love busted you out. 786 00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,056 Tell me about it. Tell me about the job. 787 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:50,518 Well, her name is Julie. She's a lawyer. She's an Ivy League attorney. 788 00:37:50,559 --> 00:37:52,895 She needs a driver. And I can give you a car today. 789 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:54,897 What kind of car we talking? 790 00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:56,107 Well look, I 've got exotic cars. I've got a Bugatti, I've got a Lamborghini. 791 00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:57,900 -I've got a Porsche. -Wait. Stop right there. 792 00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,235 Yes. 793 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,945 You know I don't do exotic cars. 794 00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:04,031 I need something with a carburetor, you know. 795 00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:05,366 Well, I've got a truck. 796 00:38:05,741 --> 00:38:07,076 Sold. 797 00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:09,370 Okay. Gimme a minute to put on some clean clothes. 798 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,165 Okay, I am ready. 799 00:38:13,207 --> 00:38:16,210 All right. You girls fix yourself some dinner. Here you go. That's for you. 800 00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:19,505 And whatever you do, please don't open the door for any strangers. 801 00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:22,633 Wait, wait, wait. Are we sure we want to leave the girls alone? 802 00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:26,095 I mean, somebody's gotta watch daddy's little girls. 803 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,180 Don't worry about that, man. They stay strapped. 804 00:38:28,222 --> 00:38:32,476 Ready for any unwanted police officers. She might not be mine. 805 00:38:33,769 --> 00:38:34,729 Come on. 806 00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:36,897 Bye, daddy. 807 00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:41,652 Again. You gotta stop calling me that. 808 00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:46,949 TAYLOR: He's like a movie character, right? 809 00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:48,367 I get Idris vibes. 810 00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:51,579 In my movie, he's comedy relief 811 00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:55,333 and Julie could use some comedy in her life. 812 00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:56,792 That I know. 813 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,506 Are you gonna open the door? 814 00:39:02,548 --> 00:39:03,883 You want me to... 815 00:39:03,924 --> 00:39:06,385 Yeah. I just thought you was gonna open it for me. 816 00:39:07,511 --> 00:39:08,554 Me open it for you? 817 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:09,972 Yeah. I just, I don't know. 818 00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:11,849 Lemme finish sending this picture real quick. 819 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:14,310 I'll wait. It's no rush. 820 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,063 Yeah, yeah. No, I'm in no rush. 821 00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:18,064 Get the door. 822 00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:19,982 Goddamn. Chill. 823 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:21,859 Please open that door. 824 00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:23,069 Dang, be polite. 825 00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:27,907 What's up? 826 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:30,201 Nigga, you a fool. 827 00:39:30,242 --> 00:39:31,619 If you don't come close this door... 828 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:32,870 You want me to close the door, too? 829 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:36,624 Open and close the door. 830 00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:40,669 Act like you ain't never closed a door before. 831 00:39:40,711 --> 00:39:43,964 You didn't say open and close is in the job description. 832 00:39:45,007 --> 00:39:46,592 Hey. Yeah. 833 00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,427 I can't believe the jury came back from deliberation so soon. 834 00:39:48,469 --> 00:39:50,262 This is a good sign for us. 835 00:39:50,304 --> 00:39:53,391 I bet you think I'm listening in on your conversation, 'cause I'm not. 836 00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:55,101 I'm talk... 837 00:39:56,143 --> 00:39:57,770 (RADIO BLARING) 838 00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:03,025 -(CELL PHONE RINGING) -Excuse me, Mr. Carlo? I said excuse me. 839 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:06,028 Hey, yo, Charlie. Hey, what up with it, man? 840 00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:07,446 Ain't nothing, man. 841 00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:09,407 I'm just sitting here, chilling at the new gig, man. 842 00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,283 Hello, hey, driver? 843 00:40:11,325 --> 00:40:14,870 What? Rollo got shot? When? 844 00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:18,707 Just, he's on the phone. Can you turn the music down? 845 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,502 Hey, bitch, can't you see I'm on the phone? That's rude. 846 00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:23,379 I'm on the phone, too. 847 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:26,799 Hey. Who shot him? Who shot him? The baby? 848 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:28,551 Man, the baby love killing people, man. 849 00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:30,177 This is completely and utterly unprofessional. 850 00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:33,556 Was he at Walmart again? I told him the savings are at Target! 851 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:36,725 Hello? Hello? 852 00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:38,811 Damn. My phone got cut off. 853 00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:40,604 Look, and I need to get to the courthouse. 854 00:40:40,646 --> 00:40:41,897 Relax, sugar tits. 855 00:40:41,939 --> 00:40:44,942 I'mma get you there, you in good hands. 856 00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:47,111 -Forget Allstate. -If you don't watch the road. 857 00:40:47,153 --> 00:40:50,030 -Hey, keep your goddamn kids out of the street. -(WOMAN SCREAMS) 858 00:40:50,072 --> 00:40:53,576 That's bad parenting right there, man. I've always said that. 859 00:40:53,617 --> 00:40:55,453 Where are you going? 860 00:40:55,494 --> 00:40:58,873 You need to, to stay on I-95. Like why are you getting off the freeway? 861 00:40:58,914 --> 00:41:00,791 Trust me, I know how to get to the courthouse. 862 00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:04,753 No, you need to stay on I-95. Get off on downtown and make a right. 863 00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:08,466 Well, so why are we stopping? 864 00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:10,468 Because we here, stupid. 865 00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:18,309 Next time, I need you to follow instructions. Okay? 866 00:41:18,350 --> 00:41:19,727 And why am I opening my door? 867 00:41:19,768 --> 00:41:21,687 Because you got hands. Bitch. 868 00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,355 You're supposed to be a driver. 869 00:41:23,397 --> 00:41:25,024 Can't admit when you wrong. 870 00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,402 -Wait till I tell Taylor. -Weak ass. 871 00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:29,945 Don't know why I did this. 872 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:33,657 Goddamn. 873 00:41:34,742 --> 00:41:36,952 God is good. Won't he do it? 874 00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:38,579 Mm-mm-mm. 875 00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:43,167 TAYLOR: Everyone has that family member who's always struggling. 876 00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:45,419 Well, Beverly is mine. 877 00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:47,588 If it's not men, it's money. 878 00:41:47,630 --> 00:41:49,256 But this is how she met the Browns. 879 00:41:49,298 --> 00:41:51,800 I mean the Blacks. The Blacks! It's how she met the Blacks! 880 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:53,719 Good morning, Ms. Mildew. 881 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,013 Don't good morning me. You got my money? 882 00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:58,641 I'll have it for you this evening when I get paid. 883 00:41:58,682 --> 00:42:01,519 Well, you better. All of it, and I ain't playing. 884 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,938 Okay. All right. Bye-bye, Ms. Mildew. 885 00:42:03,979 --> 00:42:05,856 I ain't gonna have her money. 886 00:42:05,898 --> 00:42:07,775 Bitch better have my money. 887 00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:12,279 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 888 00:42:12,321 --> 00:42:14,156 Man! Come on. What the hell? 889 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:16,534 -Stop, stop, stop. -What are you doing? 890 00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:19,161 My friend's coming? Can you just wait for her? 891 00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:21,372 No, we got to go. You making me late. Come on. 892 00:42:21,413 --> 00:42:23,415 You know if she miss the bus, she's gonna lose her job. 893 00:42:23,457 --> 00:42:26,627 And if I miss the next stop, then I lose my job. Come on now. 894 00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:27,836 Come on, bro. Just wait. 895 00:42:27,878 --> 00:42:29,505 No, no. Have a seat. Sit down. Have a seat. 896 00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:31,465 Okay, okay. What if I show you my breasts? 897 00:42:31,507 --> 00:42:33,968 What? Don't nobody wanna see your silicone breast. If I wanna see some plastic, 898 00:42:34,009 --> 00:42:35,636 I'll reach in my back pocket and I'll pull out my credit card. 899 00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:37,721 Come on. Just wait for her, please. 900 00:42:37,763 --> 00:42:40,683 Okay. Okay. Okay. Show me the nipple. Show me the nipple. 901 00:42:42,017 --> 00:42:44,520 Goddamn! 902 00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:46,355 Okay. All right. Which one? Where she at? 903 00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,232 That's her. Right there. Stop it. 904 00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:51,110 All right, I see her. Come on then. Come on, shorty. Come on. Let's go. 905 00:42:51,151 --> 00:42:52,736 Let's go, let's go. 906 00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:55,614 Thank you for waiting. 907 00:42:55,656 --> 00:42:57,074 Don't thank me. Thank her nipple. 908 00:42:58,242 --> 00:42:59,535 Girl. You took forever. 909 00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:02,162 Good lord, Jesus. 910 00:43:02,204 --> 00:43:04,707 TAYLOR: Beverly is like every other lead in the movie. 911 00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:05,791 She's likable. 912 00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:06,959 Thank you. I appreciate you. 913 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:08,210 TAYLOR: Like Angela Bassett. 914 00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:09,795 I appreciate you now. 915 00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:11,380 -Ooh, girl. -Girl, that was crazy. 916 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:14,216 -You are always looking out for me. -You know I got you. 917 00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,885 You crazy, but you my girl. 918 00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:19,305 You made sure I'm straight. You check on my baby. 919 00:43:19,346 --> 00:43:22,141 -I even show my breast, girl. -You got my... You did what? 920 00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:24,268 -Yes. -What the hell is going on here? 921 00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,228 MAN: I need all of you to vacate the premises. 922 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:28,272 The first time I'm on time to work and then this shit happens. 923 00:43:28,314 --> 00:43:29,523 We don't know what's going on. 924 00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:31,400 Place is closed. 925 00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,235 What do you mean the place is closed? 926 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,904 How? I just met with the Browns last night. 927 00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:37,448 Plus, they are super nice people. 928 00:43:37,489 --> 00:43:39,325 I don't think they're gonna close down without telling us. 929 00:43:39,366 --> 00:43:43,912 COVID Infinity. Place is closed until further notice. 930 00:43:43,954 --> 00:43:46,248 Go home. You're making me work. 931 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:48,584 -I didn't even get my last check. -I didn't get mine either. 932 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:49,627 Go home. 933 00:43:49,668 --> 00:43:51,045 What? 934 00:43:51,086 --> 00:43:53,964 MAN: Let's go, everyone. You're interrupting my lunch. 935 00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:57,468 What am I gonna do? I owe Ms. Mildew. If I don't pay her, 936 00:43:57,509 --> 00:44:00,846 she gonna put my Kiki out on the street to pay her her money back. 937 00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:02,973 I mean, why don't you ask your son's father? 938 00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:06,393 He owes you over $80,000 in back child support. 939 00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:07,811 Wait, how do you know that? 940 00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:09,938 He told me last night. 941 00:44:09,980 --> 00:44:13,359 Wait, you didn't know he was hitting this? 942 00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:16,612 I be screaming your name every night. 943 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:20,282 You're so sweet, but I do need that money. 944 00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:23,077 But he's gonna kill me if I ask him for it. 945 00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:26,747 I'm gonna ask him for you because he don't ever say no to me. 946 00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:28,374 Okay. 947 00:44:28,415 --> 00:44:30,417 -Got you, girl. -Well, let's go get this money. 948 00:44:30,459 --> 00:44:32,336 Let's go get it, girl. 949 00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:34,838 Okay, I'm gonna be strong. This is his kid, too. 950 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,048 -Yes. -I'm... 951 00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:37,883 Beverly! What the hell are you doing here? 952 00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:42,137 I thought I told you I ain't got no money for you or them ugly ass kids. 953 00:44:42,179 --> 00:44:43,180 Now get on! 954 00:44:43,222 --> 00:44:45,557 (YELLS) Scat! 955 00:44:45,599 --> 00:44:48,769 Hey Shirley, baby. What's going on? 956 00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:51,855 -Michael, baby, how are you? -I'm doing fine. 957 00:44:51,897 --> 00:44:53,816 Yes, you know Michael. 958 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:57,403 She really, really needs her child support money. 959 00:44:57,444 --> 00:44:59,113 -Really? -Yeah. 960 00:44:59,154 --> 00:45:02,324 -Is that what she needs? -Yeah. Why don't you just like, help her? 961 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:06,662 If you ask, then it's yours. Okay? Yeah. 962 00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:08,163 Thank you so much, Michael. 963 00:45:08,205 --> 00:45:10,666 We really need it, the kids need ramen, they need Cheetos-- 964 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:13,252 -I was talking to her... -But-- 965 00:45:13,293 --> 00:45:17,506 ...not you! I ain't got no goddamn money. 966 00:45:17,548 --> 00:45:18,966 But-- 967 00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:21,009 I am working my ass off securing this empty ass spot. 968 00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:23,929 Working for a ass-hole boss that I can't stand, 969 00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:26,515 on three hours of sleep. Why? 970 00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:31,186 Because I am trying to make a better life for myself. 971 00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:34,898 That's what's wrong with you Black mothers. 972 00:45:34,940 --> 00:45:36,900 You lazy. You don't want to work. 973 00:45:36,942 --> 00:45:38,652 I am not lazy, Michael. I do work. 974 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,739 Nah, you lazy as hell. See, I told you don't have that damn baby. 975 00:45:41,780 --> 00:45:48,120 But here you come trying to mess up my expensive lifestyle with your needs. 976 00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:49,329 Hell no! 977 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:55,419 Way to go, Michael. I'm giving you a raise. 978 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,254 You hear that? 979 00:45:57,296 --> 00:45:59,381 More money for you to do nothing with. 980 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,466 Nothing. 981 00:46:00,507 --> 00:46:01,759 Come on, man. 982 00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:03,469 Deuces. 983 00:46:03,510 --> 00:46:05,137 I'm gonna buy you an ice cold glass of water. 984 00:46:07,973 --> 00:46:09,349 I got something for your ass. 985 00:46:09,391 --> 00:46:11,518 You dirty mother-- 986 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,270 TAYLOR: Oh, shit. 987 00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:17,316 God says my family's like a movie. Then it must be, right? 988 00:46:17,357 --> 00:46:18,817 God's never wrong. 989 00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:21,528 And if God's not wrong, then Beverly could be a star. 990 00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:25,115 Look, this all started because of Trump. 991 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:28,494 Now how did he become president? 992 00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:30,579 That's a good question. 993 00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:33,290 Hey, wasn't on me. That wasn't me. 994 00:46:33,332 --> 00:46:35,709 I mean, I never answered his prayer. 995 00:46:35,751 --> 00:46:36,877 You're right. You're right. 996 00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:38,462 I did give him the voice. 997 00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:39,963 (MIMICKING TRUMP) It's a lot of great people on both sides. 998 00:46:40,005 --> 00:46:43,759 Lots of great people on both sides. Excuse me. Excuse me. 999 00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:46,720 Fake angels. Fake angels. 1000 00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:48,055 (IN NORMAL VOICE) You like that? 1001 00:46:49,515 --> 00:46:51,266 Toast me. 1002 00:46:51,308 --> 00:46:55,187 TAYLOR: We have comedy and drama, and I know about my cousin. 1003 00:46:55,229 --> 00:46:57,022 Julie might even be his type. 1004 00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:02,694 How'd it go? 1005 00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:04,863 JULIE: This motherfucker. I guess I'll let myself in. 1006 00:47:08,784 --> 00:47:09,910 She's pretty. 1007 00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:11,870 Is she gonna be our new mama? 1008 00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:14,832 How did they get in my car? 1009 00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:17,042 Look, I gotta take these kids to they mama house. 1010 00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,544 Unless you wanna roll around with them all day. 1011 00:47:18,585 --> 00:47:20,963 Then I gotta go pick up the 3-year-old from the dentist 1012 00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:22,923 'cause she's getting her wisdom teeth pulled. 1013 00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:26,009 If you don't take these kids home and drop me off... 1014 00:47:26,051 --> 00:47:27,636 I have a date tonight. 1015 00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:30,180 Okay. Gonna get to your date. 1016 00:47:30,222 --> 00:47:31,932 (CHUCKLING) 1017 00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,859 Okay. Come on. Come on, come on. 1018 00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,151 There we go. 1019 00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:46,405 All right. Now listen girls, 1020 00:47:46,446 --> 00:47:51,201 no matter what anybody tells you, you might not be daddy's little girls. 1021 00:47:51,243 --> 00:47:52,244 Off you go. 1022 00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:55,706 You ain't slick. 1023 00:47:55,747 --> 00:47:58,500 And next time you come out here, you better not have no kids with you! 1024 00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:00,335 Gimme my goddamn money! 1025 00:48:00,377 --> 00:48:01,795 Bye, bitch! 1026 00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:03,881 Get y'all asses in the house. 1027 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:07,551 TAYLOR: Now one thing I've learned about my friend Julie, 1028 00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:08,760 when it comes to men, 1029 00:48:08,802 --> 00:48:10,470 she has a type, 1030 00:48:10,512 --> 00:48:11,680 the wrong type. 1031 00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:13,640 Girl. Now you know I don't like blind dates, 1032 00:48:13,682 --> 00:48:17,060 but last time I went on a blind date, we met at the movies and afterwards, 1033 00:48:17,102 --> 00:48:19,521 he started handing out Watchtower pamphlets. 1034 00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,857 Come to find out he is a Jehovah Witness. 1035 00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:24,109 I'm not that desperate. 1036 00:48:24,151 --> 00:48:26,486 Okay, maybe I am. Lemme call you back. 1037 00:48:26,528 --> 00:48:28,739 -I'm Rob. -Hi. 1038 00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:30,365 You are beautiful. 1039 00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:31,408 Thank you. 1040 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,035 So what do you do? 1041 00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:35,913 I am a district attorney. I try cases. 1042 00:48:35,954 --> 00:48:37,331 What kind of cases? 1043 00:48:37,956 --> 00:48:39,833 Anything assigned to me. 1044 00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,294 Mostly felony, drugs. Murder. 1045 00:48:42,336 --> 00:48:45,714 Oh, man, you are the girl I've been looking for. 1046 00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,716 Look, I got this small case. 1047 00:48:47,758 --> 00:48:52,471 Allegedly, allegedly, they caught me with nine kilos of some Colombian Bambam. 1048 00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:56,266 So, I'm trying to put the dope in my girlfriend's car, right, 1049 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,518 -so she could take the wrap-- -Next. 1050 00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:00,604 Switch. 1051 00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:03,106 -You married? -No. 1052 00:49:03,148 --> 00:49:04,733 -Got a girlfriend? -No. 1053 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,401 -Wife? -No. 1054 00:49:06,443 --> 00:49:08,403 -Baby mom? -No. 1055 00:49:10,113 --> 00:49:11,615 You got a job? 1056 00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:14,326 I'm an architectural engineer. 1057 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:17,788 That's my future husband's job. So why are you single? 1058 00:49:17,829 --> 00:49:21,083 I just got out of a relationship and yeah, 1059 00:49:21,124 --> 00:49:22,292 I'm done with men. 1060 00:49:22,334 --> 00:49:24,920 -These mens are no good. -Next! 1061 00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:26,505 Switch! 1062 00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:30,342 After I do all that securing and watching perimeters, you know, 1063 00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:34,346 it's really hard just doing nothing all night long. 1064 00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:40,143 You see, I'm looking for a sugar mama that's going to pay my bills, 1065 00:49:40,185 --> 00:49:43,647 and you know, complete me. 1066 00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:46,817 I'm looking to start a family. 1067 00:49:46,858 --> 00:49:47,943 Next! 1068 00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:49,194 Switch. 1069 00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:53,073 God, what am I doing here? 1070 00:49:53,115 --> 00:49:55,242 You must be tired of all this, huh? 1071 00:49:56,576 --> 00:49:57,869 Uh... 1072 00:49:57,911 --> 00:49:59,621 Quite frankly, I am. 1073 00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:02,541 Then why do you put yourself through it? 1074 00:50:02,582 --> 00:50:07,546 Because it's really hard to find men within my field. 1075 00:50:07,587 --> 00:50:10,549 Then why don't you stop telling people your line of work? 1076 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:13,385 Maybe I should. 1077 00:50:13,885 --> 00:50:15,178 Maybe you should. 1078 00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:17,347 -Huh. -Yeah. 1079 00:50:18,306 --> 00:50:20,600 So tell me about yourself. 1080 00:50:20,642 --> 00:50:21,977 I went to Yale. 1081 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:23,520 -Yale? -Yes. 1082 00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,064 -Harvard. -Harvard? 1083 00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:27,858 Some Ivy League Love. 1084 00:50:27,899 --> 00:50:29,651 Ivy League Love. I like that. 1085 00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:30,694 Yes. 1086 00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:37,409 Get away from my daddy! 1087 00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:39,536 Who the hell is this, Spencer? 1088 00:50:39,578 --> 00:50:42,873 Baby? This... Listen. 1089 00:50:42,914 --> 00:50:45,000 I didn't know you had a pregnant wife. 1090 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:48,336 Bitch, I ain't pregnant. This is my colostomy bag. 1091 00:50:48,378 --> 00:50:49,629 That don't look right. 1092 00:50:49,671 --> 00:50:52,340 She's not my wife. I'm not really her husband. 1093 00:50:52,382 --> 00:50:53,550 Let's go. Get in the car, Spencer. 1094 00:50:53,592 --> 00:50:55,677 No, no, no. You got me messed up. 1095 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,221 GIRL: Stay away from my daddy, you garden tool. 1096 00:50:58,263 --> 00:50:59,806 -I'm not no garden tool. -I told... 1097 00:50:59,848 --> 00:51:02,184 -Why are you tracking me down like this? -Let's go. 1098 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:08,356 Do you have my money? 1099 00:51:08,398 --> 00:51:10,859 I'll have it by tomorrow. I promise. 1100 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:14,780 That's the problem with you young mothers always thinking about yourselves. 1101 00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:17,741 Here you go, Ms. Mildew. No need to count it. It's all there. 1102 00:51:17,783 --> 00:51:21,536 Okay. Thank you, baby. Your daughter's one of my best workers. 1103 00:51:21,578 --> 00:51:23,663 Don't think I'mma let you mess that up. 1104 00:51:25,248 --> 00:51:27,501 What am I gonna do? 1105 00:51:27,542 --> 00:51:30,212 TAYLOR: Oh, so my family may have some stories. 1106 00:51:30,253 --> 00:51:33,423 Like Michael. That boy sure can play basketball. 1107 00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:36,134 Even if he has no fashion sense. 1108 00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,552 BEVERLY: Yes, baby! 1109 00:51:40,013 --> 00:51:41,598 Woo! Go, baby! Go baby! Woo! 1110 00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:45,685 Get off him. 1111 00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:47,187 That's not your son talking to my son, right? 1112 00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:48,438 He better get off his back. 1113 00:51:49,356 --> 00:51:51,066 Let's go. Let's go, baby! 1114 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,609 Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it. 1115 00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:58,115 Yes, Michael! Go baby! 1116 00:51:58,156 --> 00:52:00,367 Oh, my goodness. You were so good. 1117 00:52:00,408 --> 00:52:02,160 But what was going on with those shoes, though? 1118 00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:03,912 They were raggedy. Why didn't you just wear those? 1119 00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,915 I can't wear those on that court. I might get 'em dirty. 1120 00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:08,250 Listen, I got these. 1121 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:09,835 -Where you get... -I got these. 1122 00:52:09,876 --> 00:52:13,421 Where you get these from? Okay. My baby a hustler. 1123 00:52:13,463 --> 00:52:15,632 Can we sell these so that I can get my nails done now? 1124 00:52:15,674 --> 00:52:17,926 -It's up to you. -Okay, cool. Nail shop tomorrow. 1125 00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:21,138 Hey yo, Michael. Good game, baby. 1126 00:52:21,179 --> 00:52:24,224 Calvin? What are you still doing in high school? 1127 00:52:24,266 --> 00:52:27,477 I couldn't pass the SAT test. 1128 00:52:27,519 --> 00:52:30,021 You don't need to pass the SAT in order to graduate. 1129 00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:32,983 But look, me and the fellas about to go down to the spot to get us a few drinks. 1130 00:52:33,024 --> 00:52:34,901 You trying to come hang with us or what? 1131 00:52:34,943 --> 00:52:39,364 So y'all finna go down to the spot, huh? Have some drinks and get drunk? 1132 00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:41,700 Yes, Ms. Black. 1133 00:52:43,076 --> 00:52:44,286 Well, can we roll with you? 1134 00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,204 -Are you serious? -Hell yeah. 1135 00:52:46,246 --> 00:52:47,873 Mom, what are you doing? 1136 00:52:47,914 --> 00:52:50,542 Mind your business, I am grown. Go home, get the homework done. 1137 00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,544 Watch your sister. Make sure she eats, all right? 1138 00:52:52,586 --> 00:52:54,963 I'm finna teach the young man something he ain't ever learned before. Okay! 1139 00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,339 Excuse me. Move out the way I gotta walk through. 1140 00:52:56,381 --> 00:52:57,716 Well, can I come too? 1141 00:52:57,757 --> 00:53:00,802 -Hell yeah. Come on, girl. -Damn. My mama's a hoe. 1142 00:53:00,844 --> 00:53:02,429 Bye, baby! I love you. 1143 00:53:02,470 --> 00:53:04,431 Girl, you think he can handle both of us? 1144 00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:05,891 Hell no, girl. We finna rob him. 1145 00:53:05,932 --> 00:53:06,933 I'm down. 1146 00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:09,811 -Hey! -Hey, so what's up, girl? 1147 00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:12,647 -So, where your cash at? -Hey, I'm Shirley. 1148 00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:15,734 -Hey, what's up? How you doing? -But the question is, where is your cash? 1149 00:53:15,775 --> 00:53:17,319 -My cash? -Yes. 1150 00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,237 -It's at the ATM, what you mean? -You ain't got no cash on you? 1151 00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:20,822 Naw, girl, I got a debit card. What you mean? 1152 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,782 -Hell no, bitch. Get out the car. -No, no, no. 1153 00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:24,326 -No, nope. -I do got... 1154 00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:32,083 -Oh, hey, girl. -Hey, how are you? 1155 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,335 I am tired as ever. 1156 00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:34,377 How's the kids? 1157 00:53:34,419 --> 00:53:36,671 Hungry, as usual. 1158 00:53:36,713 --> 00:53:38,965 Oh, it's not a bill for once in my life. 1159 00:53:39,966 --> 00:53:41,843 What is that? 1160 00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:46,181 I got a letter from a man across town. Says he's my uncle. 1161 00:53:46,223 --> 00:53:48,600 Says my father died and left me in his will. 1162 00:53:48,642 --> 00:53:52,771 Wait, what, bitch you rich? Oh, my God. Who do you have to call? 1163 00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:55,482 I don't know. It don't even... It has an address. 1164 00:53:55,523 --> 00:53:57,108 -Address? -It says to come down. 1165 00:53:57,150 --> 00:53:59,027 Okay, then go down. 1166 00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:01,196 Uh-uh. They probably gonna tell me he owed some money and now I owe them. 1167 00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:03,365 -I'm not doing it. -What? You got money? You're not going? 1168 00:54:03,406 --> 00:54:06,034 He probably ain't got shit, either. They gonna ask me to pay his bills. 1169 00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,495 -Well, how do you know that? -I'm not doing it, Shirley. 1170 00:54:08,536 --> 00:54:10,705 -Beverly, you come on! Beverly! -I'm not doing it. 1171 00:54:10,747 --> 00:54:14,209 I need to get me one of these, yo. Ladies gonna love these. 1172 00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:15,335 Hey, you know Ms. Mildew? 1173 00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:16,711 Damn you hitting that, too? 1174 00:54:16,753 --> 00:54:18,380 Man, that old lady got some skills. 1175 00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:20,715 Especially when she be using those molars on your boy. 1176 00:54:20,757 --> 00:54:22,842 She be like all day. 1177 00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:26,638 Who's that? 1178 00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,556 Man, that's just your daddy, Michael. 1179 00:54:29,140 --> 00:54:30,225 My dad? 1180 00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:31,977 I never met him before. 1181 00:54:32,018 --> 00:54:34,562 And if you want me to buy you something, you still ain't met me. 1182 00:54:35,647 --> 00:54:37,691 All right. You know. Mm-hmm. 1183 00:54:38,608 --> 00:54:39,693 Mm-mm. 1184 00:54:39,734 --> 00:54:42,362 Yo. What's up then? What you need? 1185 00:54:42,404 --> 00:54:44,197 I'm gonna need a little spark. Okay. 1186 00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:45,657 And I ain't got no money 1187 00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:48,785 and I'm going to need the 'know my son' discount. 1188 00:54:48,827 --> 00:54:52,998 Hold up. Dad, how come you never come around or help mom with money? 1189 00:54:53,039 --> 00:54:56,584 Because boy, I'mma grown-ass man, I got bills to pay. 1190 00:54:56,626 --> 00:55:00,171 I got another family across town, I got this nasty drug habit, 1191 00:55:00,213 --> 00:55:05,093 and I'm in love with this bitch I can't stand. I ain't buying you shit. 1192 00:55:05,135 --> 00:55:07,012 Hold on ladies, ladies, ladies. 1193 00:55:07,053 --> 00:55:09,597 Look what I found in my pocket. Wait a second, now. 1194 00:55:09,639 --> 00:55:13,101 Who need their bills paid? Need your hair done? Nails done? 1195 00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:16,146 Who want to do me? Come on, let's do each other together. 1196 00:55:16,187 --> 00:55:19,441 What's up, Calvin? What I tell you about hustling in this alley? 1197 00:55:19,482 --> 00:55:21,943 Yo, this my alley, homeboy. I do what I want. 1198 00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:22,986 Yeah, that's right? 1199 00:55:28,199 --> 00:55:29,367 Ricky! 1200 00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,536 Wrong movie. Michael! 1201 00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:33,621 (GUNSHOTS) 1202 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,084 (SOBBING) 1203 00:55:38,126 --> 00:55:40,128 TAYLOR: Oh! My movie could be like every other urban movie. 1204 00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:44,424 Why? Take me, Lord! Take me, Lord. 1205 00:55:44,466 --> 00:55:48,136 But I'm glad you got him. Oh Lord, my boy. 1206 00:55:48,178 --> 00:55:50,847 Dad, that's not me. I'm your son. 1207 00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:53,850 Oh. Oh. Here, let me wipe this evidence off. 1208 00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:55,810 Help me up, stupid. 1209 00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:58,980 Hey, so your mama told me you play a little basketball? 1210 00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,358 Yeah, I mean, I do average 25 points a game. 1211 00:56:01,399 --> 00:56:03,526 Don't call me dad till you make it to the league. 1212 00:56:03,568 --> 00:56:06,529 -Listen, I'm gonna need $20. -What? 1213 00:56:06,571 --> 00:56:08,239 TAYLOR: It's a lovely day, MaDude. 1214 00:56:08,281 --> 00:56:09,532 MADUDE: Well, damn. 1215 00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:11,785 What's wrong? 1216 00:56:11,826 --> 00:56:13,536 Look at that good-ass clothesline, and I ain't got my laundry basket. 1217 00:56:13,578 --> 00:56:15,038 The hell is wrong with me? Wait. 1218 00:56:15,538 --> 00:56:17,374 Oh! (GRUNTING) 1219 00:56:17,415 --> 00:56:18,625 Still got it. 1220 00:56:18,666 --> 00:56:20,543 -Impressive. -That's what I'm talking about. 1221 00:56:20,585 --> 00:56:22,420 I did not know you could do that. 1222 00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:24,464 You know I hate coming up here to see these poor folks in all this heat. 1223 00:56:24,506 --> 00:56:28,134 Well, it's okay. I'm a doctor and a lawyer and I'm here to make things better. 1224 00:56:28,176 --> 00:56:30,845 Boy, go on and head on home. Ain't nothing you can do here. 1225 00:56:30,887 --> 00:56:32,889 MaDude, I just don't know what to do. 1226 00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:34,474 Girl, what you mean you don't know what to do? 1227 00:56:34,516 --> 00:56:36,601 -I don't know what to do. -Well, what that letter say? 1228 00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:39,521 It says that he died and he left something for me in his will. 1229 00:56:39,562 --> 00:56:42,399 Well, girl, you know exactly what to do. You need to go get that goddamn money. 1230 00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,067 What if it's not money? What if it's a bill? 1231 00:56:44,109 --> 00:56:45,318 Who gonna leave you some bills? 1232 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:46,861 Look, girl your dead deadbeat daddy is dead. 1233 00:56:46,903 --> 00:56:48,196 Deadbeat daddy dead? 1234 00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:49,781 Deadbeat daddy dead. Go ahead and get your money. 1235 00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:53,535 I'm not going down there. Good things don't happen to me. Okay? 1236 00:56:53,576 --> 00:56:55,954 A man ain't never done nothing for me. 1237 00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:57,997 And now I'mma think he gonna do something in his death? 1238 00:56:58,039 --> 00:57:00,041 This is too good to be true. Look at this. 1239 00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:02,710 Girl, you know I can't read that shit, ain't got my glasses. Look girl, look it. 1240 00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:04,129 You need money, you know you need money, everybody need money. 1241 00:57:04,170 --> 00:57:06,798 Look at this house. Look at this cheap ass microwave. 1242 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,508 Why you gotta talk about my microwave? 1243 00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:10,718 You need to change that attitude. You gotta take care of this boy. 1244 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,011 You gotta take care of these bills. 1245 00:57:12,053 --> 00:57:13,596 Why don't you show him what the letter say? 1246 00:57:13,638 --> 00:57:15,473 -(DOOR OPENS) -Yeah, you right. 1247 00:57:15,515 --> 00:57:18,810 Well, hey Michael Jr. How you doing, boy? You sure do look good today. 1248 00:57:18,852 --> 00:57:20,228 -Hey, baby. -Hey, MaDude. 1249 00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:21,563 Now girl, you listen to what I said. 1250 00:57:21,604 --> 00:57:23,231 Now you go get that money like you supposed to, 1251 00:57:23,273 --> 00:57:25,942 and baby you take care of your mama. You be a good boy, alright? 1252 00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:28,695 -I will. -I see you got that good fade. 1253 00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:30,447 You got some money for something, girl. 1254 00:57:30,488 --> 00:57:32,574 But hey, you call me 'cause I want my 10% when you get that money. 1255 00:57:32,615 --> 00:57:33,783 Oh. All right. 1256 00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:36,119 What's wrong, Mama? 1257 00:57:36,161 --> 00:57:40,248 My father just died and left me something in his will. 1258 00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:42,250 But I thought you said your father was already dead. 1259 00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:43,418 He was just dead to me. 1260 00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:45,753 But now he's dead to the rest of the world. 1261 00:57:46,629 --> 00:57:49,007 Everything's gonna be okay, Mama. 1262 00:57:49,048 --> 00:57:51,634 I don't know, baby. We're in a real tough spot right now. 1263 00:57:52,594 --> 00:57:54,137 I'll figure it out. 1264 00:57:55,972 --> 00:57:57,390 Oh, my God. 1265 00:57:57,432 --> 00:58:00,226 I can't even pay the light bill. What else could go wrong? 1266 00:58:01,227 --> 00:58:02,228 Come on, Mama. 1267 00:58:04,647 --> 00:58:05,773 What are you doing? 1268 00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:06,900 Get up. 1269 00:58:06,941 --> 00:58:08,526 Boy. 1270 00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:11,488 Don't worry. When I go to the league, I'mma buy you a nice car. 1271 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:13,490 Buy you a nice house. 1272 00:58:14,365 --> 00:58:15,408 A better wig. 1273 00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:16,743 A better wig? 1274 00:58:16,784 --> 00:58:19,954 Don't be playing about my wig, boy. Keep dancing. 1275 00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:21,956 Get yourself hurt. 1276 00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:24,042 -Everything's gonna be okay. -No, I know. 1277 00:58:24,083 --> 00:58:25,960 Don't worry. I know what I gotta do. 1278 00:58:26,002 --> 00:58:28,004 TAYLOR: Beverly, she's got star power. 1279 00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:31,257 Oh, I almost forgot. 1280 00:58:31,299 --> 00:58:34,219 I wanted to tell you the story of what happened on MaDude's Halloween. 1281 00:58:34,260 --> 00:58:36,179 No, here come the little children. 1282 00:58:36,221 --> 00:58:38,640 Now, Ham, you know better than to give all this free candy away to these kids. 1283 00:58:38,681 --> 00:58:40,975 Hell, you know how hard I had to work for some free candy on Halloween? 1284 00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:42,393 I had to give candy to get candy. 1285 00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:44,229 -Stop lying. -She had to get all up on that pole. 1286 00:58:44,270 --> 00:58:46,648 My daddy backyard had a pole, the big old telephone pole. 1287 00:58:46,689 --> 00:58:48,233 Swing around that thing. 1288 00:58:48,274 --> 00:58:49,776 I got me a Snickers bar, a Mars bar, and a pregnancy test. 1289 00:58:49,817 --> 00:58:51,194 -Still came back broke. -Baby, you need Jesus. 1290 00:58:51,236 --> 00:58:52,695 I got Jesus. Got splinters on my inner thighs, too. 1291 00:58:52,737 --> 00:58:53,780 How you doing there, little children? 1292 00:58:53,821 --> 00:58:55,823 Knocked the pole down, too, big ass. 1293 00:58:55,865 --> 00:58:59,202 Trick or treat, smell my feet, gimme something good to eat. 1294 00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:00,370 Always begging. 1295 00:59:00,411 --> 00:59:01,704 WOMAN: I like your little nursery rhyme. 1296 00:59:01,746 --> 00:59:03,331 He's a cute little thing. What you got there, here? 1297 00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:06,626 You got some Mike and Ike's. You know what you need to do? 1298 00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:07,961 You need to get rid of all that shit. 1299 00:59:08,002 --> 00:59:09,462 Now you know you didn't need to do that to that. 1300 00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:10,547 Get rid of all that. 1301 00:59:10,588 --> 00:59:11,965 It's hard to play soccer with one leg. 1302 00:59:12,006 --> 00:59:14,175 Yeah, he's tryna to save you from diabetes. It's okay. 1303 00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,593 Maybalene, get your brother. 1304 00:59:15,635 --> 00:59:16,678 Trying to keep your teeth from running out your mouth. 1305 00:59:16,719 --> 00:59:18,346 -You enjoy. -Your mama be glad. 1306 00:59:18,388 --> 00:59:22,767 Boy, you better shut your mouth up. Don't let the devil use you. 1307 00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:25,562 -(WOLF HOWLING) -DEMONIC VOICE: It's time to party. 1308 00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:31,568 Ooh, that's good. That's some good mm. 1309 00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:35,446 What? 1310 00:59:35,488 --> 00:59:36,698 You look how I feel. 1311 00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:37,949 And how is that. 1312 00:59:37,991 --> 00:59:39,576 Constipated. 1313 00:59:39,617 --> 00:59:41,786 Your prostate flaring up on you again? 1314 00:59:41,828 --> 00:59:44,038 Shut the hell up, Moe. You know I ain't got no prostate. 1315 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:47,041 -You do got a prostate. -Y'all talking about prostates? 1316 00:59:47,083 --> 00:59:48,751 Sound a little too happy 'bout it. 1317 00:59:48,793 --> 00:59:50,086 KID: Real nice costume, dude. 1318 00:59:50,128 --> 00:59:52,422 Who the hell is y'all and why y'all in my house? 1319 00:59:52,463 --> 00:59:56,175 We're the frat guys. You know the frat guys from up the street? 1320 00:59:56,217 --> 00:59:58,219 -Oh. -We live in the frat house. You've seen us before. 1321 00:59:58,261 --> 00:59:59,971 Pat 'em down. 1322 01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:01,556 I see. So y'all just wanna come here and y'all wanna see a woman? 1323 01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:03,224 That's what it is? 1324 01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:04,934 -Titties. And come to the party. -Titties. Y'all wanna see titties? 1325 01:00:04,976 --> 01:00:06,269 -Yes. -Well, we thought you were a man. 1326 01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:08,021 -You thought I was a man? -More like a monster. 1327 01:00:08,062 --> 01:00:10,148 -We were taking bets. -Okay. Here let me show you something. 1328 01:00:10,189 --> 01:00:14,193 No, don't do that. Don't nobody wanna see them Jurassic Park... 1329 01:00:14,235 --> 01:00:15,612 Lord, have mercy. 1330 01:00:15,653 --> 01:00:17,572 -Those are real, dude. -That's paradise right there. 1331 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:19,616 -That's Jurassic Park right there. -KID: Like scrambled eggs. 1332 01:00:19,657 --> 01:00:22,243 Come on. Come reach your paradise. Come bring your hands in here. 1333 01:00:22,285 --> 01:00:25,413 -Come on. Come, come, come on! -Don't do it. You got to drop out. 1334 01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:26,956 Get the hell out of my house. 1335 01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:30,335 Have some respectability in here. 1336 01:00:30,376 --> 01:00:33,296 I told you didn't wanna see them old, Aretha Franklin, long sleeve titties. 1337 01:00:34,130 --> 01:00:35,715 You better think. 1338 01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:38,801 You know what, I hate this song, but it show make me wanna move. 1339 01:00:38,843 --> 01:00:40,178 Move over there then. 1340 01:00:40,219 --> 01:00:42,430 Feel a little something. I just can't, just can't... 1341 01:00:42,472 --> 01:00:44,307 Oh, Lord. 1342 01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:45,975 Just catch the spirit a little bit. Just catch the spirit a little bit. 1343 01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:48,061 There it is, there it is! 1344 01:00:48,102 --> 01:00:51,439 That damn show ain't Flashdance. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. 1345 01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:54,692 Somebody call the exorcist. The woman is possessed. 1346 01:00:54,734 --> 01:00:57,278 -(MADUDE WHOOPING) -(ALL CHEERING) 1347 01:00:57,320 --> 01:01:01,074 MOE: They got to burn this whole damn house down now. Oh, Lord. 1348 01:01:01,115 --> 01:01:02,909 It's definitely a ghost up in here. 1349 01:01:02,950 --> 01:01:04,410 MADUDE: Show me how we do it. Show me how we do it! 1350 01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:10,541 Don't you go in that closet now. 1351 01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:12,669 You know R. Kelly's in there. Don't you do it. 1352 01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:15,421 Tiffany, y'all got some good candy here. 1353 01:01:17,965 --> 01:01:20,051 -Oh, Lord! -Boy, don't be trying to scare nobody. 1354 01:01:20,093 --> 01:01:21,469 It was something on the TV, just popped up there. 1355 01:01:21,511 --> 01:01:22,553 What nothing on that TV. Shut up. 1356 01:01:22,595 --> 01:01:24,180 -I saw it. -(THUMPING) 1357 01:01:24,222 --> 01:01:26,974 -Oh, Lordy. Oh, Lord. What was that? -(THUMPING CONTINUES) 1358 01:01:27,016 --> 01:01:30,061 I told you it was something. It went from here up there. 1359 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,437 Sound like somebody up there fighting. 1360 01:01:31,479 --> 01:01:33,898 That's what I thought. Really starting to scare me. 1361 01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:35,483 You know I'm scared of everything. 1362 01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:37,694 MaDude, go up there and check out and see what it is. 1363 01:01:37,735 --> 01:01:39,696 I ain't going up there. 1364 01:01:39,737 --> 01:01:41,322 No. That ain't for me. 1365 01:01:41,364 --> 01:01:44,075 Because you ain't scared of nothing. Everything scared of you. 1366 01:01:44,117 --> 01:01:45,451 And I see why. 1367 01:01:45,493 --> 01:01:47,036 Fine. I ain't scared. Look, I ain't never scared. 1368 01:01:47,078 --> 01:01:48,788 -You ain't never scared. -I ain't scared. 1369 01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,081 You ain't never scared. Go get 'em. 1370 01:01:50,123 --> 01:01:51,582 I'm gonna go right on up here. I ain't scared. 1371 01:01:51,624 --> 01:01:52,959 You done survived looking in the mirror every damn morning, 1372 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,377 you can survive that, you can survive this. 1373 01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:55,461 I ain't scared. 1374 01:01:55,503 --> 01:01:57,547 You ain't scared of nothing. 1375 01:01:57,588 --> 01:01:59,257 Go on up there. Tell him to smell you, 1376 01:01:59,298 --> 01:02:01,092 that'll kill him. 1377 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:03,010 Don't be scared there now. Now keep eating your candy, 1378 01:02:03,052 --> 01:02:04,429 and watch the movie. This a good one. 1379 01:02:04,470 --> 01:02:05,930 Watch they gonna go in the closet right here. Look. 1380 01:02:08,516 --> 01:02:12,729 Oh, Lord. They not gonna scare me in my own house. I ain't gonna get got. 1381 01:02:12,770 --> 01:02:15,857 Oh no, not today. The devil ain't gonna use me. 1382 01:02:17,233 --> 01:02:19,402 He gon' get his ass on outta here. 1383 01:02:19,444 --> 01:02:23,489 I sure hope ain't nobody behind this here door. 1384 01:02:23,531 --> 01:02:24,949 When I open up this door, 1385 01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:27,368 'cause it's gonna be... 1386 01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:28,411 (SCREAMS) What the hell? 1387 01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:31,247 Ain't no clown chasing me. 1388 01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:34,333 Ain't no clown chasing me! Ain't no clown chasing me! 1389 01:02:35,042 --> 01:02:36,544 I told 'em not to go in there. 1390 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:39,839 Ain't no clown chasing me. Ain't no clown chasing me! 1391 01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,507 All right, well that's my cue. 1392 01:02:41,549 --> 01:02:43,384 Y'all better come on. 1393 01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:46,304 Hell now, lemme see what I can do to get up outta here. 1394 01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:48,765 Come on now. 1395 01:02:49,515 --> 01:02:50,892 Come on, girls. Come on, girls. 1396 01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:52,769 Moe, I need you to move. Come on, Moe! 1397 01:02:59,192 --> 01:03:01,402 TAYLOR: I hope I didn't scare you too much with that story. 1398 01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:03,112 But back to Beverly. 1399 01:03:03,154 --> 01:03:06,491 You ever know people who can't just say yes to a good thing? 1400 01:03:06,532 --> 01:03:08,868 Well, that's Beverly for you. 1401 01:03:08,910 --> 01:03:10,244 There they are. 1402 01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:12,872 Hi. Hello there. 1403 01:03:12,914 --> 01:03:15,166 You's Beverly. I, Leroy Black, Black. 1404 01:03:15,208 --> 01:03:18,002 You can call me Black. This my seed. 1405 01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:20,463 Yes, I'm his daughter. Flora Black. 1406 01:03:20,505 --> 01:03:22,840 You can call her Flora, without the Black. 1407 01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:25,259 It is so nice to meet you all. 1408 01:03:25,301 --> 01:03:27,804 MaDude has told us so much about you. 1409 01:03:27,845 --> 01:03:31,098 Well, it is so nice to meet you as well, I think. 1410 01:03:31,140 --> 01:03:34,101 Put that away, Missy. If they knows you'se been reading, 1411 01:03:34,143 --> 01:03:36,604 -they gonna sell you off down the river. -Sell me? 1412 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:38,272 I'mma take y'all by the underground. 1413 01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:41,067 The underground? Like the railroad? 1414 01:03:41,108 --> 01:03:44,612 To see y'all's new house, and meets y'all's family. 1415 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:45,696 Follow me easy. 1416 01:03:45,738 --> 01:03:47,031 Keeps your head down. 1417 01:03:48,199 --> 01:03:49,325 Bes quiet. 1418 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:52,662 Mr. Black, don't go too fast. 1419 01:03:52,703 --> 01:03:57,041 You know he got the gout, and the sugar, and erectile dysfunction. 1420 01:03:57,083 --> 01:03:58,918 I don't even know how I got here. 1421 01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:02,296 That's a lot of information. Okay. Hell. 1422 01:04:02,338 --> 01:04:04,924 So, I think this is just constipation right here. 1423 01:04:04,966 --> 01:04:06,300 That's why he's walking this way? 1424 01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:08,469 Yes. And you are just the prettiest little thing. 1425 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:15,017 I know you do not expect us to live here. 1426 01:04:15,059 --> 01:04:16,561 This can't be real. 1427 01:04:16,602 --> 01:04:19,772 Uh-uh. Take us back to the bus stop. We are going home. 1428 01:04:19,814 --> 01:04:21,440 But Papa done left this for you. 1429 01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:26,320 I know it ain't much, but it's all your daddy has to give. 1430 01:04:26,362 --> 01:04:28,281 I would rather work for Ellen DeGeneres 1431 01:04:28,322 --> 01:04:30,992 before I let my kids step one foot in that house. 1432 01:04:31,033 --> 01:04:33,202 What? Okay. 1433 01:04:33,244 --> 01:04:34,912 Calm down. 1434 01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:37,081 This is bigger than your mama's house. You sure you don't want it? 1435 01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:39,166 Hell no. I don't want it. Let's go, kids. 1436 01:04:39,208 --> 01:04:40,626 -But mom! -But nothing. 1437 01:04:40,668 --> 01:04:42,628 Look at that water fountain running all day and night. 1438 01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:44,839 You know what I'd have to do to pay for that water bill? 1439 01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:46,465 MICHAEL: Just do what we always do. 1440 01:04:46,507 --> 01:04:48,175 And what's that? 1441 01:04:48,217 --> 01:04:50,136 -Don't pay. -Don't pay. 1442 01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:53,681 Well, Beverly, you can at least come and see the house, honey. 1443 01:04:53,723 --> 01:04:54,974 Just come on in and see inside. 1444 01:04:55,016 --> 01:04:57,685 I don't want to come and see inside this house. 1445 01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,313 -Come on, it's got a wobbler room. -Not enough dirt. 1446 01:05:00,354 --> 01:05:03,190 Not enough dirt? Well it's got pet chickens in the back, 1447 01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,817 and you got a trained pig. 1448 01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:06,777 -A trained pig? -Yeah. 1449 01:05:06,819 --> 01:05:10,031 TAYLOR: Yep. One thing MaDude always tried to do was help others, 1450 01:05:10,072 --> 01:05:14,285 but she always finds herself in her own mess. 1451 01:05:15,536 --> 01:05:16,787 (SIRENS BLARING) 1452 01:05:16,829 --> 01:05:18,372 MADUDE: The po-po is coming for us. 1453 01:05:18,414 --> 01:05:19,665 MOE: You think you ran a red light? 1454 01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:21,334 I don't know what the hell I did. 1455 01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:24,045 Mr. Black! Mr. Black! 1456 01:05:24,086 --> 01:05:25,212 What is it, Flora? 1457 01:05:25,254 --> 01:05:27,465 Look! Is that who I think it is? 1458 01:05:28,799 --> 01:05:31,719 It is! It's MaDude on the TV tube. 1459 01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:33,304 Running from the whirly bird. 1460 01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:35,556 -Them overseers running her down. -What? 1461 01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:39,727 They gon' chop her foot off when they catch her. Run, Kunta, run! 1462 01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:43,397 REPORTER: I'm in the helicopter, live in the air during this exciting car chase. 1463 01:05:43,439 --> 01:05:47,109 Can we get a tighter shot of the vehicle's occupants? 1464 01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:50,571 Wow. This feels like a scene straight out of the movie, Set It Off. 1465 01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:53,616 Where's my phone? I gotta call her. It was here. 1466 01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:54,951 Lord Jesus, help me. 1467 01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:56,702 Hello? 1468 01:05:56,744 --> 01:05:59,330 MaDude, is that you driving that car? 1469 01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:00,790 Well, who the hell you think it is? 1470 01:06:00,831 --> 01:06:03,709 Are you sure 'cause you kind of look like Queen Latifah. 1471 01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:05,711 Look like King Latifah. 1472 01:06:05,753 --> 01:06:08,839 Look, I'm wearing Queen Latifah's disguise from the movie, Set It Off. 1473 01:06:08,881 --> 01:06:10,299 Should have dropped me off. 1474 01:06:10,341 --> 01:06:12,593 Well, you know that's what I do. I just steal from movies. 1475 01:06:14,303 --> 01:06:16,973 Well you know the Lord say thou shalt not steal, now. 1476 01:06:17,014 --> 01:06:21,936 The Lord is not being chased by the po-po. And I ain't stealing, I'm speeding. 1477 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:25,564 Well, I steal a little bit, just 'cause I'm inspired by stuff, you know? 1478 01:06:25,606 --> 01:06:27,608 Driving like you're on speed. You slow down now. 1479 01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:30,194 Now if you wanna smack across your mouth, I give you one. 1480 01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,654 Keep talking to me, old man. 1481 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:33,698 Oh, Lord. What is she doing? 1482 01:06:33,739 --> 01:06:37,410 MaDude, head to the North Star. It's free peoples over there. 1483 01:06:37,451 --> 01:06:41,122 Tell the little man to shut the hell up. Is Beverly over there? 1484 01:06:41,163 --> 01:06:44,458 She gone. She and her children done gone back to Africa. 1485 01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:47,294 Didn't nobody go back to nobody's Africa. No, she done left. 1486 01:06:47,336 --> 01:06:50,172 She didn't want the house. I don't know what's wrong with it. 1487 01:06:50,214 --> 01:06:51,757 Maybe, it's too much for her, 1488 01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:54,802 but back to you, MaDude, please pull that car over, please. 1489 01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:56,679 Okay, fine, fine, fine. 1490 01:06:56,721 --> 01:06:59,473 Now I ain't giving up, though. I got a plan. 1491 01:06:59,515 --> 01:07:03,102 Just pull the car over before 'MaDude goes to jail'. 1492 01:07:04,228 --> 01:07:06,480 Ooh. That's a good idea for a sequel. 1493 01:07:06,522 --> 01:07:08,482 You ain't finished the first one now. 1494 01:07:08,524 --> 01:07:11,360 That's a nice sequel. I like that. 1495 01:07:11,402 --> 01:07:13,070 Okay, I done pulled over. 1496 01:07:13,112 --> 01:07:14,613 (BOTH SIGH) 1497 01:07:14,655 --> 01:07:17,158 I thought you was supposed to be meeting the Blacks? 1498 01:07:17,199 --> 01:07:19,660 Hell, now they got me out here meeting the Whites. 1499 01:07:19,702 --> 01:07:22,329 Yeah, you be about to meet the Whites, all right. 1500 01:07:23,164 --> 01:07:25,249 Get out of the vehicle. 1501 01:07:25,291 --> 01:07:28,294 -I think we should just give up. -No, no, no. Hell no, fool. 1502 01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:31,756 You should know we have no problem using deadly force. 1503 01:07:31,797 --> 01:07:34,675 Look, if this works, you meet me at the cabin up in the mountains, 1504 01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,428 but if it don't you tell Taylor to put some money on my books. 1505 01:07:39,388 --> 01:07:40,973 Now what the hell you about to go on and do? 1506 01:07:41,015 --> 01:07:42,516 I'm going undercover, fool. 1507 01:07:42,558 --> 01:07:44,560 MOE: Okay, good. I'm about to tell them you kidnapped me, 1508 01:07:44,602 --> 01:07:46,187 and I ain't had nothing to do with none of this shit. 1509 01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:47,938 By the way, that ain't gonna work. 1510 01:07:47,980 --> 01:07:52,359 I'm doing everything in my power to make it difficult to arrest you. 1511 01:07:52,401 --> 01:07:54,070 Hold on there, Captain. 1512 01:07:54,111 --> 01:07:57,031 What is that? What you got all that from? 1513 01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:59,033 -T.I. gave me all this. -When you know T.I.? 1514 01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:01,827 This from the movie Scarface. He said, say hello to my little friend. 1515 01:08:02,286 --> 01:08:03,579 What is that? 1516 01:08:03,621 --> 01:08:05,081 Shit, El Chapo gave me. This shit all broke up. 1517 01:08:05,122 --> 01:08:08,417 Hold on now, I got a couple more things. O.J. gave me this. 1518 01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:12,004 -What's that? -(SQUEAKS) 1519 01:08:12,046 --> 01:08:15,716 I like to choke my chicken. I ain't have nothing to do with none of this, officer. 1520 01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:17,510 -I'm putting my hands up. -Out of the vehicle. 1521 01:08:17,551 --> 01:08:19,345 MADUDE: Just shoot him, just shoot him in the head. 1522 01:08:19,386 --> 01:08:21,764 -MOE: Don't shoot me. Don't do nothing. -Put your hands on the ground. 1523 01:08:22,473 --> 01:08:23,974 They don't reach down there. 1524 01:08:24,016 --> 01:08:25,559 Throw your feet in the air. 1525 01:08:25,601 --> 01:08:26,977 I can't lift them. 1526 01:08:27,019 --> 01:08:29,563 And wave 'em like you just don't care. 1527 01:08:31,273 --> 01:08:32,483 Come on get out of the car. 1528 01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:34,110 -Get out the car, fool. -Out of the vehicle! 1529 01:08:34,151 --> 01:08:36,070 They 'bout to shoot me! They 'bout to shoot me! 1530 01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:39,448 Oh Lord, I don't have no bail money. 1531 01:08:39,490 --> 01:08:42,910 They 'bout to take her to the king! 1532 01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:47,289 They 'bout to take you to the king! 1533 01:08:47,998 --> 01:08:49,333 Next case. 1534 01:08:50,835 --> 01:08:53,337 Your Honor, she should be coming in at any moment. 1535 01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:56,006 Helluurr! 1536 01:08:56,048 --> 01:08:57,341 MOE: There MaDude walking. 1537 01:09:00,302 --> 01:09:01,762 That's not funny. 1538 01:09:01,804 --> 01:09:02,805 It is funny. 1539 01:09:02,847 --> 01:09:04,557 Oh, Jesus. Lord, why today? 1540 01:09:04,598 --> 01:09:07,768 Your Honor, I is so sorry to have troubled you this morning. 1541 01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:10,104 Now this is all can be just throwed away, you know? 1542 01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,565 I'm gonna tell you a little story about my cousin. Her name is V'Gina. 1543 01:09:12,606 --> 01:09:15,025 Now you know, people always mispronounce her name, too. 1544 01:09:15,067 --> 01:09:16,485 Like they mispronounce Judge L'Oreal. 1545 01:09:16,527 --> 01:09:18,112 People might wanna call you Judge Revlon or something, 1546 01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:20,656 but you know, they, they call her vagina. But it's V'Gina, 1547 01:09:20,698 --> 01:09:24,535 'V' apostrophe G-I-N-A. It's V'Gina. V'Gina! 1548 01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,079 He can't even spell vagina. That's what she trying to spell, vagina. 1549 01:09:27,121 --> 01:09:28,122 Can't even spell it. 1550 01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:30,166 But we damn sure can smell it. 1551 01:09:30,207 --> 01:09:31,417 Y'all smell it? 1552 01:09:33,544 --> 01:09:35,004 Y'all heard? 1553 01:09:35,045 --> 01:09:36,380 -Dad, dad. -Don't call me that. 1554 01:09:36,422 --> 01:09:38,299 Boy, you ain't smell vagina since 1932. 1555 01:09:38,340 --> 01:09:40,217 -How you doing, Your Honor? -MOE: Saw it this morning. 1556 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:44,221 MaDude, be quiet, and be respectful in my courtroom. 1557 01:09:44,263 --> 01:09:45,848 MOE: That means shut up. 1558 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:47,308 I understand. I was just trying to explain to you why my cousin, 1559 01:09:47,349 --> 01:09:49,476 she had been bullied by that name. She 52 years old, 1560 01:09:49,518 --> 01:09:52,563 and I didn't want that to happen to you. Your Dishonor, you know. 1561 01:09:52,605 --> 01:09:54,690 I'm warning you. 1562 01:09:54,732 --> 01:09:57,818 I understand. I'm just, I'm gonna be quiet right up here in your courtroom today. 1563 01:09:57,860 --> 01:09:58,861 Yes, yes, yes I am. 1564 01:09:59,862 --> 01:10:01,322 I believe you gonna fry. 1565 01:10:01,363 --> 01:10:03,574 You better shut your ass up. Just shut up talking to me. 1566 01:10:03,616 --> 01:10:06,160 -MOE: Shouldn't have ran all them red lights. -Bailiff? 1567 01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:08,787 Keep your good eye on this one. She's trouble. 1568 01:10:11,832 --> 01:10:15,127 Well, it looks like that way to me, Your Honor. 1569 01:10:15,169 --> 01:10:17,129 Looks that way to me, Your Honor. 1570 01:10:17,171 --> 01:10:19,506 This whole courtroom looks suspect. 1571 01:10:19,548 --> 01:10:22,468 Matter of fact, this whole courtroom looks suspect. 1572 01:10:22,509 --> 01:10:27,181 MaDude Himms, you are sentenced to 180 days jail time 1573 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:29,433 for attempting to evade the police. 1574 01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:32,186 Your cellmate will be R. Kelly. 1575 01:10:32,228 --> 01:10:33,854 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1576 01:10:33,896 --> 01:10:35,189 He not my type, Your Honor. 1577 01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:36,565 You gonna be trapped in the closet. 1578 01:10:36,607 --> 01:10:38,359 Followed by six months of house arrest. 1579 01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,695 Then we will possibly reevaluate your probation. 1580 01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:43,322 Don't reevaluate it. Just keep it like it is. 1581 01:10:43,364 --> 01:10:47,576 Also... mandatory church on Sundays. 1582 01:10:48,035 --> 01:10:50,037 Not the church! 1583 01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:51,121 Church. 1584 01:10:51,163 --> 01:10:53,457 Oh, Lord. Gimme anything but church! 1585 01:10:53,499 --> 01:10:55,376 -Church! -You 'bout to have a religious love. 1586 01:10:55,417 --> 01:10:58,045 No, Lord, please gimme solitary confinement. 1587 01:10:58,087 --> 01:10:59,463 Y'all got a bed big enough for her? 1588 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:00,923 Gimme the electric chair! 1589 01:11:00,965 --> 01:11:02,007 Church! 1590 01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:03,717 -We're gonna help you! -No, we ain't. 1591 01:11:03,759 --> 01:11:05,552 Jesus! 1592 01:11:05,594 --> 01:11:07,429 Well, I know how you feel. Believe me. 1593 01:11:07,471 --> 01:11:09,014 Well, I know how she feels. 1594 01:11:09,765 --> 01:11:11,225 Case Closed. 1595 01:11:11,267 --> 01:11:12,518 Yes! 1596 01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:16,480 I get to use my dick pump all by myself. 1597 01:11:16,522 --> 01:11:18,816 Pornhub all week. Gimme one! 1598 01:11:21,026 --> 01:11:22,361 (CLAPPING) 1599 01:11:22,403 --> 01:11:25,281 Not even God can save your ass now, MaDude. 1600 01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,952 I can't believe MaDude's going to jail. 1601 01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:31,996 I can't believe I lost the case. 1602 01:11:32,037 --> 01:11:35,916 I am the worst lawyer ever. I'm the worst everything ever. 1603 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:38,377 I mean, God where are you when I need you? 1604 01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:40,963 God. 1605 01:11:41,839 --> 01:11:43,632 Bam. He was incensed. 1606 01:11:44,466 --> 01:11:46,093 Pow! Wu Tang, nigga. 1607 01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:47,553 I can say nigga in heaven. 1608 01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:52,016 But you can't! 1609 01:11:54,310 --> 01:11:55,561 I been me damned. 1610 01:11:57,688 --> 01:12:02,568 TAYLOR: When God told me to write a movie, I never thought the devil would show up. 1611 01:12:02,609 --> 01:12:05,571 Do you see the color of my suit? 1612 01:12:05,612 --> 01:12:06,947 Who the hell you think I am? 1613 01:12:06,989 --> 01:12:09,742 TAYLOR: That's what I get for not writing. 1614 01:12:09,783 --> 01:12:12,619 Perfect. Makes perfect sense. The devil's talking to me. 1615 01:12:12,661 --> 01:12:14,747 Why wouldn't the devil talk to me? 1616 01:12:14,788 --> 01:12:18,125 Well, I'm sensing you kind of need my help. 1617 01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:20,502 How may I be of service there? 1618 01:12:21,170 --> 01:12:22,379 No. 1619 01:12:23,130 --> 01:12:26,425 I have been appointed by the Lord. 1620 01:12:26,467 --> 01:12:29,261 I'm delivered. I'm delivered. 1621 01:12:29,303 --> 01:12:30,471 I'm delivered. 1622 01:12:32,598 --> 01:12:34,808 Well, brother, if you don't need me, 1623 01:12:34,850 --> 01:12:36,018 I'll just go back 1624 01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,687 to the Proud Boys community and Peckerwoods. 1625 01:12:38,729 --> 01:12:40,314 Hey, they love me over there. 1626 01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:43,359 I'm their idol. Hasta luego, Fairy. 1627 01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:44,651 It's Pherry. 1628 01:12:44,693 --> 01:12:48,364 My name is Pherry, Pherry, Pherry! 1629 01:12:48,906 --> 01:12:49,907 No, it ain't. 1630 01:12:51,283 --> 01:12:52,826 Damnit. 1631 01:12:52,868 --> 01:12:54,328 This is BS. 1632 01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:57,456 I bet you never show up to Kevin Hart's bathroom like this. 1633 01:12:58,832 --> 01:13:03,045 GOD: Write the vision, son. Write the vision. 1634 01:13:05,172 --> 01:13:08,175 TAYLOR: I finally figured out what I needed to do. 1635 01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:09,885 I needed to write the movie. 1636 01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:13,597 So I decided to have my assistant, Joy, write it. 1637 01:13:13,639 --> 01:13:16,475 With Joy around, there's no need for AI. 1638 01:13:19,103 --> 01:13:20,270 Oh! 1639 01:13:20,312 --> 01:13:24,400 This is plot, character development. 1640 01:13:24,441 --> 01:13:26,527 This is a storyline. 1641 01:13:26,568 --> 01:13:28,529 -Can we put that in the movie? -Put what in the movie? 1642 01:13:28,570 --> 01:13:30,364 A storyline. 1643 01:13:30,406 --> 01:13:31,740 A storyline? 1644 01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:33,367 Yeah. Just steal it. Just put it in the storyline. 1645 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:34,701 Yeah. Okay. 1646 01:13:34,743 --> 01:13:36,995 -Just write it down. Make me look good. -Okay. 1647 01:13:37,037 --> 01:13:39,540 I can steal all things through Christ who strengthens me. 1648 01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:40,791 We stealing this. 1649 01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:42,334 You going to hell. 1650 01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:44,378 -What you say? -Nothing. Mm-hmm. 1651 01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:45,838 Ooh. This is gonna be good. 1652 01:13:45,879 --> 01:13:49,133 We going to use it all. Just mix it up like a gumbo. 1653 01:13:49,174 --> 01:13:50,634 I smell WGA. 1654 01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:52,678 I smell Oscar. 1655 01:13:52,719 --> 01:13:54,346 Everybody gonna wanna be in my movies. 1656 01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:56,765 Joy, when I blow up, 1657 01:13:56,807 --> 01:13:59,560 I'm not taking you with me, but keep writing. 1658 01:13:59,601 --> 01:14:01,979 Oh! Oh! Write this down! Montage. 1659 01:14:02,020 --> 01:14:04,940 Every movie need a montage. A good montage. 1660 01:14:17,578 --> 01:14:20,289 Joy, how is my screenplay going? 1661 01:14:20,330 --> 01:14:21,915 Oh, it's going. 1662 01:14:21,957 --> 01:14:23,917 But wait, wait, wait. No, don't talk, more writing. 1663 01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:25,752 I just want to envision myself in the words. 1664 01:14:25,794 --> 01:14:27,337 No, no, don't stop writing. 1665 01:14:27,379 --> 01:14:30,716 Ooh, it's gonna be so good. Damn, I'm good. Damn, I'm good. 1666 01:14:31,675 --> 01:14:32,885 (EXHALES) That's lazy. 1667 01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:34,845 Mm, I need this job. 1668 01:14:34,887 --> 01:14:37,806 I need this job. I need this job. 1669 01:14:37,848 --> 01:14:40,601 -I like that. Watch for that for me. -You're so close to me. 1670 01:14:40,642 --> 01:14:42,102 Yeah, we're very close. 1671 01:14:42,144 --> 01:14:43,604 This is close. You read my mind. 1672 01:14:43,645 --> 01:14:45,439 This is exactly what... We're on the same wave... 1673 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:49,067 You're so physically close to me. 1674 01:14:52,821 --> 01:14:54,490 (SNORING) 1675 01:14:57,493 --> 01:14:59,453 Yeah. Yeah. Go down, go down. Scroll, scroll. 1676 01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:00,996 I'm scrolling. 1677 01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:03,665 Wait, wait. Stop, stop. Too fast. Go back up, up, up, up. 1678 01:15:03,707 --> 01:15:07,628 Yeah, yeah. So great. Wonderful. 1679 01:15:08,837 --> 01:15:10,547 -(PHONE VIBRATING) -Oh! 1680 01:15:10,589 --> 01:15:12,132 Hey, this is Attorney Pherry. 1681 01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:13,133 The P is silent. 1682 01:15:14,134 --> 01:15:15,427 Wait, MaDude? 1683 01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:17,346 No, I can't possibly deal with MaDude today. 1684 01:15:17,387 --> 01:15:20,390 That's not on my docket. I'm in the middle of writing a screenplay. 1685 01:15:20,432 --> 01:15:22,309 Could you scroll please? Thank you. 1686 01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:24,436 No, I couldn't possibly do that. 1687 01:15:24,478 --> 01:15:25,854 Thank you. 1688 01:15:27,189 --> 01:15:30,067 Damn, that's good. I'm a good ass writer. 1689 01:15:32,694 --> 01:15:33,862 That's so good. 1690 01:15:36,657 --> 01:15:38,659 Oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. 1691 01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:41,870 Look at us here just getting clean, 1692 01:15:41,912 --> 01:15:44,414 so we can be there with the Lord in the end days. 1693 01:15:44,456 --> 01:15:46,500 You know, cleanliness is next to Godliness, 1694 01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:49,378 and I know he love you because I sure do. 1695 01:15:49,419 --> 01:15:50,629 Oh, Lordy, Lordy. 1696 01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:52,673 Make sure y'all get all that dirt off you. 1697 01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:56,510 Oh, uh... 1698 01:15:56,552 --> 01:15:58,720 Done seen too much. No, no, no, we good. 1699 01:15:58,762 --> 01:16:01,848 Sure we should make this water get us a little colder. 1700 01:16:01,890 --> 01:16:04,643 God. You know, I'm a old lady. 1701 01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:06,520 Only got so many of these left. 1702 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:10,691 All right, ladies, two-minute showers up. Let's go. Let's go, let's go! 1703 01:16:10,732 --> 01:16:12,568 I knew there was a God. 1704 01:16:12,609 --> 01:16:14,611 GUARD: Come on. Let's go. 1705 01:16:14,653 --> 01:16:16,363 Well, it was so nice to see you ladies. Y'all go ahead. Y'all get on out here. 1706 01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:19,241 Ladies, cut that water off. Y'all been here long enough now. Come on. 1707 01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:20,701 We in a drought. 1708 01:16:20,742 --> 01:16:22,327 Stop your yabbering. 1709 01:16:22,369 --> 01:16:24,037 MADUDE: Look Barney Fife, 1710 01:16:24,079 --> 01:16:25,747 I'm just trying to make sure everything is where it needs to be. 1711 01:16:25,789 --> 01:16:28,375 You're taking all day. You want to go home or not? 1712 01:16:28,417 --> 01:16:32,546 Got me up here with all this temptation, wetness, and water. 1713 01:16:32,588 --> 01:16:34,881 Just trying to be my best Christian self. 1714 01:16:34,923 --> 01:16:37,718 Today's your lucky day, MaDude. Let's go. 1715 01:16:40,095 --> 01:16:43,307 Ain't a jail alive that can hold me, baby. 1716 01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:44,641 Where my shit? 1717 01:16:44,683 --> 01:16:46,518 Is this yours? 1718 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:49,980 Hell nah, that ain't mine. What the hell I look like? You can keep that. 1719 01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:52,065 Well, I'll save it for you when you get back. 1720 01:16:52,107 --> 01:16:55,235 Well, I ain't coming back to here. No, no, no. No way. But you know what? 1721 01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:58,697 You might be right. I'll be back for my next movie. 1722 01:16:59,656 --> 01:17:02,200 Free at last, bitches, free at last! 1723 01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:03,702 Oo-wee! 1724 01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:05,621 Look at the fresh air out here. 1725 01:17:05,662 --> 01:17:09,333 Damn, it is hot. Hell is my family at? There your ass is. Why you late? 1726 01:17:09,374 --> 01:17:11,918 Just get your big ass in the car, San Quentin Tarantina. 1727 01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:13,795 They gonna have your ass right back up in here. 1728 01:17:19,092 --> 01:17:21,803 The end. 1729 01:17:21,845 --> 01:17:24,765 Ooh, Joy, this is fabulous. 1730 01:17:24,806 --> 01:17:27,726 Fool, this might be the best thing I ever done. 1731 01:17:27,768 --> 01:17:30,479 Written by Taylor Pherry, 1732 01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:33,398 my P is silent. 1733 01:17:34,941 --> 01:17:40,238 What? What the... No, no, no! 1734 01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:43,200 Let me tell you, computers ain't like your stories, man. 1735 01:17:43,241 --> 01:17:44,242 They need backup. 1736 01:17:45,327 --> 01:17:46,703 Please. 1737 01:17:46,745 --> 01:17:48,872 Stop praying, bitch. He ain't gonna help you now. 1738 01:17:49,456 --> 01:17:50,832 What the... 1739 01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:53,627 It's like life. 1740 01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:55,796 The devil's in the details. 1741 01:17:55,837 --> 01:17:57,005 GOD: Says you. 1742 01:17:58,632 --> 01:17:59,966 Oh, man. 1743 01:18:03,011 --> 01:18:04,179 (GASPS) 1744 01:18:05,180 --> 01:18:07,766 I thought you weren't happy with my work? 1745 01:18:07,808 --> 01:18:09,976 GOD: Your work is pure joy, son. 1746 01:18:10,018 --> 01:18:14,064 It's probably best to say that you were divinely inspired. 1747 01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:17,234 -I was, wasn't I? -It's time to go worship, son. 1748 01:18:18,360 --> 01:18:21,238 Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord. 1749 01:18:24,282 --> 01:18:27,369 PASTOR: What we're here to do today is... 1750 01:18:28,829 --> 01:18:31,123 give it up to the Lord. 1751 01:18:31,164 --> 01:18:32,124 Amen. 1752 01:18:32,749 --> 01:18:34,334 PASTOR: All of our plans? 1753 01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:37,129 We give it up to the Lord. 1754 01:18:37,170 --> 01:18:38,505 All of our ideas? 1755 01:18:38,547 --> 01:18:40,590 Uh-huh, uh-huh! 1756 01:18:40,632 --> 01:18:42,884 We giving it up to the Lord. You hear me? 1757 01:18:42,926 --> 01:18:44,344 -Lord! -Hallelujah! 1758 01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:45,595 -Amen! -Mercy. Mercy! 1759 01:18:45,637 --> 01:18:47,055 -Yes, Pastor! -Yes. 1760 01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:51,685 Listen, now. All our wishes, we give it up to the Lord. 1761 01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:52,853 -Up to the Lord. -Yes! 1762 01:18:52,894 --> 01:18:54,646 -Hallelujah! -That's right, that's right! 1763 01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:58,358 -Hallelu! -And all of our money... 1764 01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:00,360 -Yes, yes. -Yes-- 1765 01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:01,611 You give it to me. 1766 01:19:01,653 --> 01:19:02,821 -To the... -What? 1767 01:19:04,489 --> 01:19:05,532 Are you with me? 1768 01:19:05,574 --> 01:19:06,950 No, no. That ain't gon' be it. 1769 01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:08,952 I thought we was giving it up to the Lord. 1770 01:19:08,994 --> 01:19:11,371 No, thank you. Hallelujah? 1771 01:19:13,665 --> 01:19:15,083 MADUDE: Helluurr! 1772 01:19:26,511 --> 01:19:28,346 No, Miss Celie. 1773 01:19:28,388 --> 01:19:30,974 MOE: Oh, Lord, have mercy. The one day I come to church, look at this. 1774 01:19:31,016 --> 01:19:32,225 The devil showed up. 1775 01:19:34,060 --> 01:19:37,105 ♪ I've been sinning I've been sinning ♪ 1776 01:19:37,147 --> 01:19:38,899 Think I done gone blind for two seconds. 1777 01:19:38,940 --> 01:19:42,360 ♪ I'm a heathen when the devil get up in me I've been thinking ♪ 1778 01:19:42,402 --> 01:19:44,362 -She going to hell. -She going to hell hell. 1779 01:19:44,404 --> 01:19:45,405 Like real hell. 1780 01:19:45,447 --> 01:19:47,908 ♪ Moe got lice Moe got lice ♪ 1781 01:19:47,949 --> 01:19:51,787 ♪ All these Christians in my face And I'm feeling kind of like a criminal ♪ 1782 01:19:51,828 --> 01:19:53,038 ♪ But that's okay♪ 1783 01:19:53,079 --> 01:19:55,499 She's shaking, she's shaking her ass in church. 1784 01:19:55,540 --> 01:19:58,043 ♪ Where that boy Who got that hair ♪ I don't like it? 1785 01:19:58,084 --> 01:19:59,711 Thank you for my Pilates class. 1786 01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:02,088 ♪ There he is Good day ♪ 1787 01:20:02,130 --> 01:20:05,217 ♪ And tight yeah and I'mma go on, go on, go on... ♪ 1788 01:20:05,258 --> 01:20:08,094 Jesus, I wasn't supposed to come to church today. That's... 1789 01:20:08,136 --> 01:20:09,137 Hi. 1790 01:20:10,889 --> 01:20:12,182 Come on, Pastor. 1791 01:20:12,224 --> 01:20:14,267 -MaDude, you 'bout to catch on fire. -Oh, Lord. 1792 01:20:14,309 --> 01:20:16,520 ♪ Keep your eyes off my fattie, Pastor I don't want you ♪ 1793 01:20:16,561 --> 01:20:17,687 ♪ No more♪ 1794 01:20:17,729 --> 01:20:21,608 No, no, no. Hey, hey. Hallelujah. 1795 01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:23,068 They got chicken at church. 1796 01:20:23,109 --> 01:20:25,028 If I had known that I'd have been here months ago. 1797 01:20:25,070 --> 01:20:28,031 Hey, must be Church's Chicken. 1798 01:20:29,366 --> 01:20:30,408 Moe got lice, y'all. 1799 01:20:30,450 --> 01:20:32,118 Killed 12 Clydesdales for them boots. 1800 01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:35,956 Go ahead. Pastor on, carry on. Praise and praise, do it up. 1801 01:20:37,791 --> 01:20:39,668 Come on, Pastor. Go 'head, preach. 1802 01:20:39,709 --> 01:20:42,212 PASTOR: Ladies and gentlemen, we got a special guest. 1803 01:20:44,339 --> 01:20:46,007 (APPLAUSE) 1804 01:20:47,926 --> 01:20:49,094 Taylor Pherry? 1805 01:20:50,220 --> 01:20:51,596 Me? 1806 01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:54,057 It's your day to lead us in prayer. Get on up here. 1807 01:20:54,099 --> 01:20:55,350 All right, all right! 1808 01:20:55,392 --> 01:20:57,018 Get on up there, baby. 1809 01:20:57,853 --> 01:21:00,522 All right. Thank you, thank you. 1810 01:21:02,190 --> 01:21:04,776 I'm so nervous. First, giving honor to God and... 1811 01:21:04,818 --> 01:21:06,444 Amen. 1812 01:21:06,486 --> 01:21:09,865 And the congregation, I just wanna say, put your hands together. 1813 01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,285 Yes! 1814 01:21:14,578 --> 01:21:15,996 I wrote a movie, y'all. 1815 01:21:16,037 --> 01:21:18,164 Y'all wanna sing a song or something for me? 1816 01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:20,166 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1817 01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:21,209 Hey! 1818 01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:24,921 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1819 01:21:24,963 --> 01:21:29,759 ♪ Can he do everything? Can he do everything? ♪ 1820 01:21:29,801 --> 01:21:33,179 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1821 01:21:33,221 --> 01:21:35,515 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1822 01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:37,684 'Cause I can, I can, I can! 1823 01:21:37,726 --> 01:21:42,188 Come on, Hoprah. Come on, Hoprah. Hoprah, Hoprah, Hoprah! 1824 01:21:42,230 --> 01:21:44,190 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1825 01:21:44,232 --> 01:21:46,526 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1826 01:21:46,568 --> 01:21:49,362 ♪ Can he do everything? ♪ 1827 01:21:49,404 --> 01:21:50,572 Get out the way! 1828 01:21:52,115 --> 01:21:56,202 Where's my successor? 1829 01:21:56,244 --> 01:21:58,872 ♪ Can he do everything?♪ 1830 01:21:58,914 --> 01:22:04,502 I crown, Taylor Pherry, the new me. 1831 01:22:06,796 --> 01:22:10,133 And with me, thy will all come. 1832 01:22:12,636 --> 01:22:16,890 I wrote a movie Inspired by God, 1833 01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,266 and it's coming out soon, 1834 01:22:19,559 --> 01:22:22,979 and each of you is gonna get a movie premiere ticket! 1835 01:22:25,065 --> 01:22:27,359 And you get a ticket! And you get a ticket! 1836 01:22:27,400 --> 01:22:30,445 And you getting a ticket. Don't think I forgot about you! 1837 01:22:30,487 --> 01:22:32,614 You getting a ticket. 1838 01:22:32,656 --> 01:22:34,824 Y'all getting tickets! 1839 01:22:34,866 --> 01:22:36,993 You getting a ticket! 1840 01:22:37,035 --> 01:22:39,079 TAYLOR: And that is my story. 1841 01:22:39,120 --> 01:22:40,580 The story of how I became 1842 01:22:40,622 --> 01:22:43,458 the world-famous writer, director, actor, producer, 1843 01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:46,419 lawyer, doctor, handyman, plumber, mover, shaker, 1844 01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:49,547 Grossmates delivery driver you now know and love. 1845 01:22:49,589 --> 01:22:53,176 And I'll make sure you also get a ticket to my next church movie. 1846 01:22:53,218 --> 01:22:54,970 Coming to a theater near you. 1847 01:22:57,055 --> 01:22:59,224 Today was a God's Day. 1848 01:23:01,935 --> 01:23:04,437 Won't I do it? Won't I do it? 1849 01:23:04,479 --> 01:23:08,650 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1850 01:23:08,692 --> 01:23:11,277 ♪ For all you've done ♪ 1851 01:23:11,319 --> 01:23:14,864 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1852 01:23:14,906 --> 01:23:16,366 ♪ Come on, ya ♪ 1853 01:23:16,408 --> 01:23:18,118 ♪ Thank you, thank you Thank you, I thank you Lord ♪ 1854 01:23:18,159 --> 01:23:20,120 ♪ Yes, you are so good ♪ 1855 01:23:20,161 --> 01:23:22,205 ♪ You took me off the streets Yes, there's no ghetto here in Hollywood ♪ 1856 01:23:22,247 --> 01:23:24,124 ♪ You said this be the light I know you're right ♪ 1857 01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:25,583 ♪ With you I know I could ♪ 1858 01:23:25,625 --> 01:23:27,961 ♪ Turn to your neighbor and said, yeah, God is good ♪ 1859 01:23:28,003 --> 01:23:30,714 ♪ Folks won't go to church but they'll name their daughters Faith ♪ 1860 01:23:30,755 --> 01:23:33,800 ♪ Just to walk around the house and then say they walk by faith ♪ 1861 01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,720 ♪ Let me make this statement I'm thankful, so grateful ♪ 1862 01:23:36,761 --> 01:23:40,056 ♪ Turn pain into a wonderful life 'cause God is able ♪ 1863 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,975 ♪ I'm grateful ♪ 1864 01:23:42,017 --> 01:23:45,145 ♪ So grateful ♪ 1865 01:23:45,186 --> 01:23:47,147 ♪ I'm grateful ♪ 1866 01:23:47,188 --> 01:23:48,314 ♪ Come on, y'all ♪ 1867 01:23:48,356 --> 01:23:52,068 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1868 01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:55,530 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1869 01:23:56,239 --> 01:23:58,324 ♪ For all you've done ♪ 1870 01:23:58,366 --> 01:23:59,367 ♪ Ladies and gentlemen ♪ 1871 01:23:59,409 --> 01:24:01,995 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1872 01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:03,955 ♪ Put your hands together ♪ 1873 01:24:03,997 --> 01:24:07,542 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1874 01:24:08,209 --> 01:24:11,087 ♪ You've been so good ♪ 1875 01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:14,758 ♪ You've been so good to me ♪ 1876 01:24:14,799 --> 01:24:16,134 ♪ Come on ♪ 1877 01:24:16,176 --> 01:24:19,179 ♪ I was down, I was lost I was broken ♪ 1878 01:24:19,220 --> 01:24:22,098 ♪ When you called out my name said I was chosen ♪ 1879 01:24:22,140 --> 01:24:23,850 ♪ Brand new life I found ♪ 1880 01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:25,310 ♪ You turned it all around ♪ 1881 01:24:25,351 --> 01:24:27,854 ♪ Now I'm singing hallelujah 'cause you saved me ♪ 1882 01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:31,024 ♪ I left my past in the past I'm a changed man ♪ 1883 01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:33,693 ♪ So much joy that I have I'm renewed, man ♪ 1884 01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:36,863 ♪ 'Cause you broke the chains that were binding me ♪ 1885 01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:39,199 ♪ Now I'm free, I'm free I'm free ♪ 1886 01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:40,950 ♪ I'm grateful ♪ 1887 01:24:40,992 --> 01:24:42,577 ♪ Yes, I am, yes, I am ♪ 1888 01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:43,912 ♪ So grateful ♪ 1889 01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:45,205 ♪ So... ♪ 1890 01:24:45,246 --> 01:24:46,873 ♪ I'm grateful ♪ 1891 01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:48,792 ♪ For all, for all, for all ♪ 1892 01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:51,753 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1893 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:55,006 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1894 01:24:55,048 --> 01:24:56,216 ♪ If you're thankful ♪ 1895 01:24:56,257 --> 01:24:58,051 ♪ For all you've done ♪ 1896 01:24:58,093 --> 01:24:59,135 ♪ Make some noise ♪ 1897 01:24:59,177 --> 01:25:01,805 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1898 01:25:01,846 --> 01:25:03,723 ♪ 'Cause he's been too good ♪ 1899 01:25:03,765 --> 01:25:07,227 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1900 01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:10,021 ♪ You've been so good ♪ 1901 01:25:10,063 --> 01:25:11,064 ♪ Yes, He has ♪ 1902 01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:13,733 ♪ You've been so good to me ♪ 1903 01:25:13,775 --> 01:25:15,693 ♪ Come on, come on, yo ♪ 1904 01:25:15,735 --> 01:25:18,613 ♪ Thank God, you're good We here, we can ♪ 1905 01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:21,491 ♪ Live in Christ You omnipotent ♪ 1906 01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,910 ♪ You been so good This gonna be our year ♪ 1907 01:25:23,952 --> 01:25:27,664 ♪ Let the world see you dance The party's over here ♪ 1908 01:25:27,705 --> 01:25:29,749 ♪ I thank you God I thank you much ♪ 1909 01:25:29,791 --> 01:25:32,919 ♪ We got our power back and now we can't be touched ♪ 1910 01:25:32,961 --> 01:25:34,462 ♪ It's amazing what you done ♪ 1911 01:25:34,504 --> 01:25:36,089 ♪ Thank you for your son ♪ 1912 01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:39,300 ♪ I'm grateful I gotta get these words off my tongue ♪ 1913 01:25:39,342 --> 01:25:42,262 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1914 01:25:42,303 --> 01:25:43,805 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1915 01:25:43,847 --> 01:25:45,181 ♪ For all you've done ♪ 1916 01:25:45,223 --> 01:25:46,933 ♪ For all you've done ♪ 1917 01:25:46,975 --> 01:25:49,185 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1918 01:25:49,227 --> 01:25:51,312 ♪ For all you've done for me ♪ 1919 01:25:51,354 --> 01:25:54,774 ♪ Thank you Lord ♪ 1920 01:25:54,816 --> 01:25:55,900 ♪ Sing it out ♪ 1921 01:25:55,942 --> 01:25:57,735 ♪ You've been so good ♪ 1922 01:25:57,777 --> 01:25:58,778 ♪ So good ♪ 1923 01:25:58,820 --> 01:26:01,364 ♪ You've been so good to me ♪ 1924 01:26:01,406 --> 01:26:03,700 ♪ Oh, thank you Jesus ♪ 1925 01:26:07,704 --> 01:26:09,289 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1926 01:26:09,330 --> 01:26:10,832 ♪ Yes, she did ♪ 1927 01:26:10,874 --> 01:26:12,125 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1928 01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:13,960 ♪ Yes, she did ♪ 1929 01:26:14,002 --> 01:26:15,128 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1930 01:26:15,170 --> 01:26:17,088 ♪ Yes, she did, yes ♪ 1931 01:26:17,130 --> 01:26:18,131 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1932 01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:19,757 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1933 01:26:21,050 --> 01:26:22,427 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1934 01:26:22,468 --> 01:26:23,970 ♪ Not one percent but half ♪ 1935 01:26:24,012 --> 01:26:25,471 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1936 01:26:25,513 --> 01:26:27,265 ♪ Not two percent but half ♪ 1937 01:26:27,307 --> 01:26:28,808 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1938 01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:30,268 ♪ Cut it all in half ♪ 1939 01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:32,770 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1940 01:26:33,396 --> 01:26:35,857 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1941 01:26:36,441 --> 01:26:39,235 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1942 01:26:39,777 --> 01:26:42,739 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1943 01:26:42,780 --> 01:26:45,825 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1944 01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:47,702 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1945 01:26:47,744 --> 01:26:48,995 ♪ Fifty percent ♪ 1946 01:26:49,037 --> 01:26:51,164 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1947 01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:52,415 ♪ Cut it all in half ♪ 1948 01:26:52,457 --> 01:26:55,627 ♪ Just said half ♪ 1949 01:28:10,660 --> 01:28:17,083 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust in you ♪ 1950 01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:22,297 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust you ♪ 1951 01:28:23,464 --> 01:28:29,012 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust in you ♪ 1952 01:28:29,971 --> 01:28:34,892 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust you ♪ 1953 01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:09,344 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust in you ♪ 1954 01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:14,849 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust you ♪ 1955 01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:22,440 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust in you ♪ 1956 01:29:23,191 --> 01:29:28,404 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'll trust you ♪